Stress Relief 101

[lizbud]

" For a man to truly understand rejection, he first must
be ignored by a cat."

"By the time they had dimished from 50 to 8, the other
dwarves began to suspect "Hungry"...." Gary Larson.

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The
world owes you nothing. It was here first" Mark Twain.

"Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?"

Fifth Law of Applied Terror:
If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget
your book.

Corollary: If you are given a take-home exam, you will
forget where you live.

[toughCookie]

well here's all I can think of right now, these 2....

I have PMS, and a gun!!!

Susanne Sugarbaker of Designing Women!!




Menopause, menstruation, mental.......
why do all our problems start with men?
LOL

[toughCookie]

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

this one is funny!!

open mouth--insert foot!!

Is a book listing the definitions of habitual substances known as an addictionary?

LOL

[lbaker]

........He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad....
Scaramouche

[lizbud]

CHRISTMAS PARTY

Festivity Level 1: Your guest are chatting amiably with
each other,admiring your Christmas Tree ornaments,singing
carols around the upright piano,sipping at their drinks and
nibbling hors d'oeuvres.
Festivity Level 2: Your guests are talking loudly--sometimes
to each other,and sometimes to nobody at all, rearranging
your Christmas-tree ornaments,singing "I gotta be me"
around the upright piano, gulping their drinks and wolfing
down hors d'oeuvres.
Festivity Level 3: Your guests are arguing violently with
inanimate objects, singing "I can't get no satisfaction",
gulping down other people's drinks,wolfing down Christmas
tree ornaments and placing hors d'oeuvres in the upright
piano to see what happens when the little hammers
strike.
Festivity Level 4: Your guests, hors d'oeuvres smeared all
over their naked bodies are performing a ritual dance
around the burning Christmas tree...The piano is missing.

You want to keep your party somewhere around level 3,
unless you rent your home and own firearms, in which
case you can go to level 4. The best way to level 3 is
egg-nog.

[AmberLee]

Yiiieee! I regret to inform my many Pet Talk friends and relations that I personally like my Christmas parties at level 1, 1 1/2 TOPS!!!



Oops! Hereby revealing that I'm an ol' (well, middle-aged) party pooper.

[anna_66]

Originally posted by AmberLee
Yiiieee! I regret to inform my many Pet Talk friends and relations that I personally like my Christmas parties at level 1, 1 1/2 TOPS!!!



Oops! Hereby revealing that I'm an ol' (well, middle-aged) party pooper.

Yep, I know what you mean, that's me too!

[sasvermont]

I loved all the other ones....hope I am not duplicating.

1. Life is short, play hard.
2. This is NOT a dress rehersal.
3. Life is FULL of disappointments.
4. If you can't say anything nice about him/her, don't say anything at all.
5. You are judged by the company you keep.
6. Just DO IT!
7. What are you/we waiting for? Enjoy life.
8. Early detection is the answer to many, many health issues for humans and pets. Then take action.
9. Buy in, don't sell out!
10. Always return the shopping cart to the store. It is good exercise!

[Cincy'sMom]

Originally posted by AmberLee
Yiiieee! I regret to inform my many Pet Talk friends and relations that I personally like my Christmas parties at level 1, 1 1/2 TOPS!!!



Oops! Hereby revealing that I'm an ol' (well, middle-aged) party pooper.

We may reach 2 at some of our parties...

originally posted by Gini
"Would you like a glass for that whine?"

"Would you like like some cheese with that whine?"