Do you get along with the In-laws?

[catland]

Originally posted by ramanth
Andy's parents are very nice people, but they seem more conservative. They are nice to me and I to them, but I always feel like I have to put on an act when I'm around them. Like I can't be myself. :\

The first time my husband met my parents, it was important to me that he not feel as you do. Only when I told him it didn't come out just right. I said

"Honey, you don't have to be nice, you can be yourself"

Actually, we're both ok on the in-law front. My mom thinks my husband walks on water. If I do anything nice for them, he gets all the credit.

kt_luvs - I'm sorry that you are subjected to such absolutely rude behavior. At least your husband gets along well with your family and you get along with half his family.

This is the time to count your blessings. You have a wonderful husband and many, many wonderful relatives that think you are adorable. Don't let this one rotton apple spoil the proverbial barrel. You can't change her so don't even bother to talk about her anymore. There's no point. Let her go. Why anyway would you want to seek the approval of such a person? She has serious problems and you should just be polite on the few occasions that you have to interact with her.

[kt_luvs_kitties]

Thank you all for your input and opinions. It really does help to have people that can understand the pressure of all of this.

Catland- Thank you so much for the words of wisdom. I am going to take your advice, and just let it go. Brush it off, and try to be a better person because of all of this. I mean, I do right by her son, and I dont really need her approval, he says he is happy, so why shouldnt I be? I am not a rude person, I try to be nice to everyone. As long as I keep it that way, I guess in a sense I win this battle..if their is a battle to be won Anyways, thank you *hugs*

Your poor husband must have been embarrassed! LOL I am sure that he and your family knew what you meant

[Amber]

oh kinda with one member. She was my grandpas "girlfriend" but when he passed away, she still came and visited like always. She's so snotty to me. and I just ignore her. oh well..

[Karen]

I get along fine with my Mum-in-Law, she is a nice person and knows that her son and I love each other. It's funny, because just after Christmas I was using buying mittens at the store where she works (different department, and she wasn't working that day) and in chatting with the saleswoman who "rang me up" I mentioned that my Mum-in-law worked there, and she said "Ooooh, I like that. That just sounds so much nicer than mother-in-law for some reason."

[CalliesMom]

My in-laws and I get along quite well, but that doesn't mean that they don't annoy the #^$$#@&*^$@ out of me. My MIL was a drug addict when my husband was growing up and feels she has to make up for her mistakes now. She freaks out because we don't live in CA but when we do visit we hardly see her
It's one of those "as long as he is here, it's okay and we don't have to spend time together but if he's gone, OH MY LITTLE BOY needs to come home." You sort of feel stifled by her love but she has always been very nice to me and I do enjoy spending time with her.

When I was interviewing for schools for my PhD, I interviewed at a school in NC and in CA. We can't tell her that we're moving to NC because our lives will be a bit more difficult--my husband promised her we would move back after we were done with school in AL SOOO..that discussion is being put off for as long as possible.

My FIL hardly calls my husband to see how everything is going. If Jason didn't call him, they probably wouldn't talk but more than once every 2-3 months. They also don't have a very emotional relationship; I guess Jason is always trying to make his father proud and cannot be honest with him about things. He is very nice to me, however, so I guess I don't have any real complaints about my relationship with him.

Jason gets along with my mother. She's a strange lady LOL so he tends to "put up" with her more than I do. She loves him, so it works well for me.

[sirrahved]

Have you MET my in-laws? *snickers*


Yes, most of you HAVE met my in-laws... and they are some of the best people in the world! Everyone should be so lucky!

[Tonya]

I get along with the Inlaws, but I CANNOT stand them. It takes all I can to keep the peace.

Just one example of the most recent thing...both MIL's (been blessed with two ) were insisting on helping with my baby shower. One totally insisted and said she'd bring ALL of the drinks and muffins for 40 people to my baby shower. She insisted that she'd come the night before and help out. Well, not only did she not show up the night before, she was an hour and a half late AND she brought 1 gallon of OJ for 40 people. So the whole baby shower was delayed for an hour and a half waiting for her. The food was all cold by the time she got there. Her excuse was "Sorry I am late, you know me..."

She'd also done that to us at our reception. She volunteered to have a wedding reception for us and I was all for it. Lots of people pitched in. She was responsible for several dishes and she was in charge of the whole deal, so obviously she was supposed to be there waaaaay early. She showed up 3 hours late and everyone (about 100 people) were waiting that whole time to eat.

[Queen of Poop]

My in-laws and their daughters HATE me. As the second wife, I am a horrible person, don't deserve the time of day. Regardless of the fact that my step kids adore me. That I get along exceedingly well with the ex. As it stands I am driving her to work tomorrow as her truck is in the shop. We have not had contact with my husbands parents for over 2 years now. We have explained this to his kids and they understand there is a "problem". I tried for 2 years to be nice to all of them but they finally showed their true colors - hypocrites. I feel bad for my husband having lost contact with his family, but I am so glad that he stands behind his second wife.

[moosmom]

Sure, now that I'm divorced and they're both dead!!

[micki76]

Originally posted by moosmom
Sure, now that I'm divorced and they're both dead!!

ROTFLMAO!!! Good one!

[Tina]

I get along pretty well with my in-laws. I do like my mom in law she is a kind person. We do talk as much as we can. As for my father in law I really do not care for him to much. But I try to get along with him. He is always wanting Rob to help him with something. Don't get me wrong I don't mind Rob helping them but some things he could do on his own. My SIL is ok we don't really talk that much.

Rob's family is just alot different then mine. My family is just so much more layed back then his.

Rob he gets along great with my family!

[Maresche]

I get along okay with my in-laws. I learned early on that there are some subjects you do NOT bring up with my FIL and when he brings them up, you change them fast.

My MIL is a very giving person; she can't say no to anyone regardless of the request, which sounds great until she's promised to do too much and comes to you asking for help at the last minute, especially financial help.

For example, she offered to pay for her daughter's, SIL's, Las Vegas wedding and pay for the plane tickets for some less better off family members. Very generous of her. Well the time came for the final down payment to be made and MIL didn't have the money because she purchased the extra plane tickets. So she came to us asking to borrow $1000 and she needed it that day because if it wasn't sent immediately, SIL would lose her wedding entirely. Since we didn't want SIL to lose her wedding, we agreed on two conditions: 1) we would send the money to Vegas ourselves because MIL is known for asking for money for A reason and actually using it for B reason and 2) we needed it back in full before the wedding 3-4 weeks later because that was the money we were planning to use to cover expenses to get to Vegas and back for the wedding. MIL agreed and we sent the certified check to Vegas that day and they got it in plenty of time. The waiting began to get our money back. We were leaving on a Thursday and as of the Wednesday before we still didn't have it. We told MIL that we'd still go (couldn't get our money back for the plane tickets at that point anyway) but we were seriously unhappy about the arrangement. Well we get to Vegas the next day and MIL gives hubby an evelope with $1000 in it in $20's. At least we got our money back but it was very akward walking around Vegas with that much cash as we are more plastic (debit card) people.

Luckily such incidents with MIL are pretty few and far between, rarely more than two a year and we've learned to say No early and often.

[Tonya]

Originally posted by moosmom
Sure, now that I'm divorced and they're both dead!!

Is it wrong to be envious?

[CalliesMom]

Having two sets of in-laws makes life so much easier. My husband's father and mother HATE each other and we get to hear about it all the time. My MIL was jealous that my FIL took us to Vegas for four days over the Christmas holidays. She called everyday, several times a day; which I think is rude considering no one interrupted our time with her. But when we are with her, she disappears, she didn't take the time off she needed, she's sleeping, whatever. It makes dealing with them so much better from the other side of the country and now you know why I moved from the west coast to the east coat--FOR MY SANITY. LOL

I asked my husband last night about what he thinks of his in-laws. Basically my mother causes him to do this as there is always something wrong with her. She's either 1) fighting with someone or 2) too sick to do anything so she sleeps all day. We've been dealing with 2 the last few months so we can't seem to hold a conversation for more than five minutes until she has to go back to sleep.

He can't stand my brother and his wife sometimes because they can be rather bossy and disrespectful of our stuff. We, stupid on our part, left our car AGAIN this Christmas at their house when we flew out of Atlanta. We should have known not to as the previous year my brother drove it around and left a ton of sunflower seeds on the floor. This year, we come home to our driver side window is busted and he again drove the car even though we were promised it would remain sitting in their driveway. $120 later to fix the car and I hope I finally learned my lesson. THIS explains why I'm moving five/six hours away from them in August...families can be rather difficult to say the least.

[catland]

Originally posted by Tonya
So the whole baby shower was delayed for an hour and a half waiting for her. The food was all cold by the time she got there. Her excuse was "Sorry I am late, you know me..."

... She showed up 3 hours late and everyone (about 100 people) were waiting that whole time to eat.

Here's the good news. Now you do know her. Now you know to never ever trust her ever again! No matter how much she begs or says she's changed. If she insists on bringing something - you assign her something that isn't important and that the meal doesn't hinge on.

Then you start events on time. Don't ever wait for her ever again. It took me along time to figure this out - please don't take as long as me and begin today to promise yourself that you will never ever permit her to use you and everyone else again.