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Thread: Oxymorons anyone?

  1. 09-01-2003, 06:54 AM #16
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    jonza
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    Then there’s the Bill Gates classic: Microsoft Works (Almost exactly!)

    … and I‘m sure I have a cd somewhere which states that it is an Original Copy, Recorded Live, but I don’t have an exact estimate on that.

    I also found some collective nouns:
    A stack of librarians
    An amalgamation of metallurgists
    A shower of meteorologists
    A whinge of Poms (by an Australian I'm afraid)
    A body of Pathologists

    … and here's an intelligent conclusion:
    A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the houseon the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.

    The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate."
    The Biologist: "They have reproduced".
    The Mathematician: "If exactly one person now enters the house then it will be empty again."

    "Peace cannot be achieved through violence,
    it can only be attained through understanding."
    Albert Einstein
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  2. 09-01-2003, 07:11 AM #17
    Pam
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    Originally posted by jonza

    … and I‘m sure I have a cd somewhere which states that it is an Original Copy, Recorded Live, but I don’t have an exact estimate on that.
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  3. 09-01-2003, 11:26 AM #18
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    ILoveMyAbbyGirl
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    Microsoft Works.


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    now she's slowly opening
    new eyes.
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  4. 09-01-2003, 11:52 AM #19
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    A deafening silence...
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  5. 09-01-2003, 12:07 PM #20
    gini
    gini is offline THE HOUSE OF ORANGE
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    The one I have always liked is the sign for time-shares for sale.

    "Interval Living"

    uh, what do you do the rest of the time?
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  6. 09-03-2003, 06:22 PM #21
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    Kosher Ham


    Must be tax free, but once again, that would be if it were new and improved and your only choice.
    Last edited by kohala; 09-03-2003 at 06:28 PM.
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  7. 09-03-2003, 06:40 PM #22
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    What was I thinking?? I've been calling a few stupid people I work with "oxymorons". I guess I'll have to go back and take the test again.
    Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand and strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!
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  8. 09-04-2003, 05:50 AM #23
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    I think these have been posted before, but still funny:

    "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." - Al Gore, VP

    " It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or
    another" - George Bush, US President

    "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President

    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
    the country," - Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

    "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," - Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

    "Peace cannot be achieved through violence,
    it can only be attained through understanding."
    Albert Einstein
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  9. 09-04-2003, 11:45 AM #24
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    oh oh oh!!!

    just saw the thread..


    pickled beets???

    and the latest 'fashion food' here in LALA LAND...



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  10. 09-04-2003, 01:38 PM #25
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    Good one Richard

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  11. 09-04-2003, 01:40 PM #26
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  12. 09-04-2003, 02:24 PM #27
    Pam
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    Originally posted by tomkatzid
    Rap Music
    Great one, Tomkatzid!
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  13. 09-04-2003, 02:30 PM #28
    Edwina's Secretary
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    I just spoke with someone who said they sent camping last weekend. Slept on the ground in a comfortable sleeping bag.

    Now that's an oxymoron to me!
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  14. 09-04-2003, 02:37 PM #29
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    Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
    I just spoke with someone who said they sent camping last weekend. Slept on the ground in a comfortable sleeping bag.

    Now that's an oxymoron to me!
    To me too!



    "I don't know which weapons will be used in the third World war, but in the fourth, it will be sticks and stones" --- Albert Einstein.

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  15. 09-04-2003, 02:56 PM #30
    mugsy
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    The one I always say to Mike just to make him mad since he was in intelligence in the Army.....military intelligence.

    My description of Frederick Douglass in one of my papers....literate slave

    how about hardly unique? Does that count since there are no degrees of uniqueness???


    Don't buy while shelter dogs die!!
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