Did you have a career or children first?

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I believe in preparing, but honestly I don't think I will ever feel fully ready. Partly it's something you just have to jump into with both feet.

I feel the same way...it's hard to feel prepared for something so important. At least, if you have those feelings you are probably going to try your hardest to be ready before committing to having children.

My closest friend is entering medical school next fall. She and her husband want to have kids while she is in med school. It doesn't seem like the best idea to me, but she said, "There IS no convenient time," which is kind of true. In her case, she will be preparing to become a doctor for the next 7 years. By the time she is done, she will want to secure a job, and she will be 32 years old. She wants to have 3 or 4 kids so that would become less and less likely the older she got (and, I believe, less and less likely after having the first one ).

[Logan]

It is different for everyone. I married at 22, six months after I graduated from college. I married my "high school sweetheart". He was in NO rush to have kids. I was. Guess who won? Not me! I had my daughter, Helen, when I was 28 years old. I had a decent job and there was no question about whether I was going to have to continue working. It broke my heart to go back to work when that baby was 5 weeks old. Her dad stayed with her for a week and she went to daycare at 6 weeks old. She has been just fine, though. I was lucky enough to be able to take her out of after school care when she was in the 3rd grade, as I started working from home.

Gosh, time passes so quickly and now I have an independent, well adjusted young lady for a daughter. She drives herself to high school every day and pretty much takes care of herself. She is almost 16 years old.

Our marriage did not last and when she was two, we seperated and divorced. It wasn't easy, but we did just fine, and he has been a major influence in her life. Yes, I wish I had given birth to her when I was a bit younger. I was ready and could have managed it just fine, and I hoped for more children, too, but with him, it never would have happened.

I think you have to do what works for both of you. There is a "happy medium" there, somewhere, I promise. But, like Johanna said, I would choose to make more of the time I had prior to my daughter's birth. But then, I also would not have gotten married at 22 if I could do it all over again. LOL!!!

Logan

[Crazy-Cat-Lover]

I have two daughters, Sierra (3) and Emma (6 weeks), and I'm 21. I never really thought about having a career, I'd rather be a Mother. Being a Mom is harder than any job - but it is the most rewarding. I can be a complete dork when I'm with my girls - they're my licence for fun! I completed a Veterinary Assistant course last October, but haven't pursued it yet. Someday I hope to start working, it's just going to be hard not seeing the girls 24/7.

[catnapper]

I never thought about it. I just graduated college and went to work. I didn't meet anyone worth seriously dating until 25. Then I met my husband at 27. By those ripe old ages, I was definately established within my career

I always just figured that having a child was something that happened (or didn't happen) For me, it happened in the form of marrying a man with 3 kids. I met him after I started working as a fulltime designer. In essense, children never did happen for me since I never had a baby of my own. If I ever did end up pregnant, I would have had the baby at whatever point in my life it wanted to come. Since thats not even a remote possibility now, I am just glad to play with my little grandbaby!

[JenBKR]

Well, I'm 27 with no kids and a job, so I guess I'd say career. I don't think I exactly planned, I just went to college, started working, got married.....not that we don't want kids, because we do. It just hasn't happened yet.

[CountryWolf07]

I'm 22 years old, not married, but I am in college. I think the way life is going for me - it'll put me in the career path instead of marriage/children.

[wolflady]

For me, it's career all the way. I'm not ready to be a parent, and I'm starting to feel nervous about that because I'm already 30 and still not sure if/when I want to have kids.
There is so much pressure about having kids, but I just don't know if it's for me. I still don't feel like I've "lived" and experienced all the things I want to before I'm tied down with kids. I like my independence and being able to do whatever I want whenever I want.
I also believe that people should be financially stable before bringing kids into the world, and I just don't feel like I'm in a place to provide for kids right now. I don't believe in day care or strangers raising my childen (what's the point of having kids if you never see them or raise them yourself), so one of us would have to give up our career...which is impossible to do out in California. We'd have to move to another state in order to be able to live on only one salary, and I'm just not ready to do that right now either.

Of course...the biological clock IS ticking...*sigh*

[critter crazy]

I joined the Army straight out of highshool, shipping off two days after graduation. So yes I put my carreer first! I had no intention of startig a family right away. But after one year in the Army I met my husband, and we were married two years later! Then shortly after we had our son. It was very hard trying to juggle our carreers and a family, but somehow we made it work. Now however, I am currently unemplyed after getting a medical discharge from the Army, and i have to say it is the best thing that could have happened! I am now able to spend all the time in the world with my son. I can go to all of his school functions, and always be there when he needs me. After serious discussion with my husband, i hve decided that I put off working again, until our son is older(he is 6)

[Uabassoon]

Alexa and I plan to work on our carrers first. She's already graduated from college but is going back to work on a teaching certificate. I recently decided to go back as I realized that there aren't any jobs in bassoon performance! So now I will be studying business management. We were thinking sometime withing the next 5-8 years, we still have so many things we want to do before we have kids. We haven't seen all of the world yet! I still want to travel, take random weekend road trips, study, get promoted at work, make a steady salary. I don't think we will wait until everything is "perfect" because I know it never will be, it's so easy to say "it will be better after ____ happens". However we do need to have some money saved up so that one of us can take some time off work. I think whoever is making less money will be the one to take some time off, if I stay with my company however I'll qualify for a year long sabattical in a few years.