Originally posted by Cataholic
I would assume everyone is of legal age when they marry, and can do whatever they want.
Well, legally, yes. But I would hope that in a marriage (or living arrangement), the people involved don't just do whatever they want with no regard for how it will affect the other half of the partnership. If my husband could "do whatever he wants", there would be a lot of decisions made that I would not be happy living with, just like he would be unhappy if I had free rein and didn't give a thought to how something I did would affect both of us. I agree that FORBID has negative connotations, and that there are probably some issues there with one of the partners always acquiescing to the other just to "keep the peace", or someone is allowing themselves to be "forbidden" or controlled. In the case of not wanting another pet to be added to the household, the person who doesn't want it is probably envisioning the extra work, expense, etc., even though that may never be the case. Unfortunately, you can't do pets on a trial basis, so you couldn't say "well, let's just take the (pet) and see how it goes; maybe you're wrong about how much trouble/expense it would be". A person just has to go by their instincts because of the permanence of taking on a pet. It's a lot like deciding how many (if any) children to have; not a decision to be taken lightly (unless your religion does not condone birth control; then the decision is made for you by a higher power).
In our house, I'm the one who doesn't want a yellow lab added to the household menagerie. My daughter wants one so badly she's delirious, and my husband would enjoy having a lab companion for hunting. However, they can't agree on who would "own" the dog, and with my daughter reaching the age soon where she'll be leaving home, a "shared" dog wouldn't work, because she'd want to take it with her. My husband would want the dog specially trained for bird hunting, which involves a very close relationship between him and the dog. I also would not want to be left with a dog to take care of if my daughter leaves home and can't take it with, because I am looking forward to being "free" in my autumn years. My husband, too, has given some thought to whether he wants to take on the responsibility of a dog, because he travels a lot, and he would like to be more spontaneous as we age. There are probably those of you out there who would say we're wrong, that a dog would be a wonderful addition to the family, they're not as much work as you think, etc., but ultimately we have to know ourselves and our family situation. I guess you have to balance your deep love for animals with your deep love for your spouse/partner and your family, and do what is best for all of them, animals included.
Meanwhile, I am considered the Wicked Witch of the West by my daughter because I have FORBIDDEN them to have a dog. Hey, if the pointy hat fits..............
The legend says that Mohammed adored cats. When one of them was sleeping on his sleeve and he had to go out, Mohammed supposedly cut off the sleeve so as not to disturb his pet.
A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast - Proverbs 12:10
How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven. - Robert A. Heinlein
What greater gift than the love of a cat? ~ Charles Dickens
There is, incidently, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person. - Dan Greenberg
If purring could be encapsulated, it'd be the most powerful anti-depressant on the market. ~Alexis F. Hope
Bookmarks