You might not remember this post nor understand why I need to vent again. It's because I left out a crucial event during that appt, and it has been gnawing on me for the last several weeks. I've been crying a lot, even if I don't look like I'm crying. And the appt has been playing over in my mind for the last two weeks. Every time I ask myself what is wrong, that appt shows up. And I've been a grumpy crotchety touchy b1tch that last ten weeks or so, getting worse each week. And I've been so depressed and tired.

I left stuff out, and I don't know why. Perhaps I thought I had dealt with it?

At the beginning of the appt asked if I wanted a "complete" exam, which I've not had since the surgery. I declined. I usually don't let my GPs get that familiar with me. At least twice during the horrible physical, he or his nurse asked if I wanted the complete exam. I said no.

I did agree to a breast exam. Well, I'm a large girl, but he treated me so disrespectfully. While talking to me, he "examined me" but it really looked like he was a kid poking jello, just to watch it jiggle. Yes, he poked my breasts several times and watched them jiggle. He wouldn't have found a tumor that way. I wish I was the type of girl that could b1tch slap him. He so deserves it. The nurse was in there but was not really looking.

Before he began the exam, his nurse had me strip and put on the gown. However the physical part began an hour later. During the hour I am sitting almost-butt naked with only my underwear and a gown, while he questions me and insults me, my family, etc. Yes, I'm in there an hour with only a gown on while he is insulting me and no nurse.

I came in just to apologize for any cranky behavior lately, but while reading my original vent, I discover I left part of it out. I'm wondering why. Perhaps I didn't want the fellows to feel embarrassed.

So, I'm refusing to pay the bill, and I am writing a letter to the hospital system that employs him.

Thanks for listening.

And he has done this before. He is far too good at hos he treated me. He's had practice.