little Olmos, a kitten rescue from a shelter in michigan, went to the Rainbow Bridge this morning. He was so young i'm not even sure he was a boy. He was separated from his mama kind of violently when mama got sick and needed to be hospitalized. Mama has been in hospital for a week, and i thought tiny Olmos would come through this ok. He seemed ok last night, dehydrated and a little thin, but he attacked his food with such relish, i thought his little body was strong enough that with a little supportive care from me, he would come through this.
i am beside myself because he died about five minutes before i got to him this morning; his little body was still warm. i was in no particular hurry to check on him; i thought he would be his usual bubbly little kitten self and greet me at the door of his isolation kennel (distemper is making the rounds at this particular shelter).
this has completely blindsided me, and i feel like i've been gut-punched. i'm hating myself for not being there to at least hold him as he died. i'm miserable because i lost my tiny one and could not even offer him comfort in his last moments. it's as though he just let go.
i need for someone to tell me why i need to continue in rescue. it has been such an extraordinarily sad week, with Olmos this morning and Freddy, the cat from the "Two orphaned Cats" post, dying on Monday, and Jacinda, little Olmos's mommy, still critical. i know the best way to honor the ones we couldn't save is to help those who still need us, but i am just crushed. i'm not sure i have the strength to go on.
i'm so worried now about Jasper, Olmos's big brother, who shared a kennel with him. Jasper's pain is palpable, human. when i let him out of his kennel, he just sits and looks so sad and lonely and confused. Jasper was there for baby Olmos, now i need to be there for Jasper.
please light a candle for my tiny Olmos, the small baby who passed through my life far too briefly. help me remember him by offering a helping hand to the babies out there who still can be saved. and tell me some happy stories......
catherine
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