My original thought was to go with your first commitment. However, you need to think about how you'll feel afterwards. I think you might regret not seeing your Grandpa especially since he's getting on. You might want to consider his age when he puts you down and let it slide. Family is important. How would you feel if you didn't see him again? Would the criticizim be too hurtful for you?
I think Rich's mom would understand your not going with her since it is YOUR family. However, if you are going to feel bad/negative being around your family, go to the shower. Life is too short.
Claudia
PS, I learned very early on to have a calendar in you purse at ALL times and write it down!
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