I need specific/detailed advice, please.

[Taz_Zoee]

I know several of you have been through this and that's why I need your help. I've read the threads of how you will know when it is time to let your animal go. But I am having a very hard time with it.
Taz has been up and down. I know this happens. I remember Mary's Puddy going through the ups and downs. But it's tearing me apart. There are times that I feel it is time to let him go. Like today, he stayed in the bathroom by the toilet pretty much ALL day. So that's when I was thinking it was time. Then he just came out meowing at me for food. Now I'm thinking ok, maybe it's not time. Then I think, if he is in pain I don't want him to be.
This past Friday I had to give him his meds. When I gave him the antibiotics and Maalox he growled at me. He's NEVER done that. Then while we were doing his sub-q's he was growling and tried several times to get away from us. I am so glad I have Bruce to help me. I honestly don't know how someone could do this alone (Mary, you are amazing). We have to do his fluids tonight and I'm not looking forward to it. I don't like him to be in pain and it's even worse when I feel like I'm the one inflicting the pain.
Another problem I'm facing is at the end of July we are going on a motorcycle trip and will be gone for 12 days. My mom will have the cats and I know she will take good care of them. She'll do his fluids and everything. But I'm scared he will go when I'm not with him. And I don't want my mom to feel responsible.

UGH! I hate this! I just want a straight CLEAR answer here.

[catnapper]

Honestly, you'll know when its time. I knew last year with Nicki, but I just couldn't put her down... I just couldn't do it. I'm sure when it truly is time, you'll KNOW.

((((HUGS))))) to you.

[happylabs]

I know this is so hard for you, and, yes, I have been through it several times. I think catnapper is right...you will know when it is time. Hang in there. You are doing an awesome job of taking care of Taz. HUGS from us too!!!

[jenluckenbach]

It is never easy. You always question yourself. Am I / Did I do the right thing?

I have had to make the decision 7 times. Each time I knew that even though the pet might have been able to live longer, the pet was NOT acting like their normal self.

You know your pet and if they are not acting interested in the things they used to live for, then it could be time.

With Brighteyes, she was having difficulty breathing.
With Amanda, she stopped eating and her diagnosis told us she would never eat on her own again.
With Bear (at 20 years) he was just ready, tired, uninterested, and stopped eating.
With Y.Lee, his diabetes never became regulated and keeping him alive would have meant MANY more vet trips, and he stressed so badly at the vet that subjecting him to more tests would have been cruel.
With Lucas, after over 9 months of diarrhea I could tell he was just tired. He stopped playing our nightly game of chase and seems to be just existing.
With Rutherford, he became distant. A cat who literally LIVED to sit on your lap would just lay in the hall. And his breathing was starting to be labored.
With BraveHeart, seizures started, and we had already tried everything.

Each time I wondered "should I try just one more thing"? but the answer was usually in their eyes. PLEASE, let me go.

You will never truly know what their wishes are, so you have to be strong enough to balance the desire for them to live with the reality of life and death.

And never be afraid to admit that money IS a factor! Even if we were all super billionaires, I's not always right to keep a pet alive JUST because there is a new treatment to try. I've seen people do EVERYTHING, and I don't believe the pet always benefits.

Sorry so long. Just feel it in your heart.

[Taz_Zoee]

Thank you all for your responses. I can hardly see through my tears.

He is back in the bathroom again. I don't want to stress him out with all the meds, but at the same time I want him comfortable. I'm STUCK!

Do I continue the meds, or stop and just let him be? I have two more rounds of fluids left in the bag I currently have. He goes to the vet on Thursday for a follow up.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Cindy, I'm sorry to hear that he's still not feeling well and that you're having such a hard time. It has been hot in CA so maybe this is part of the reason why he's feeling even more poorly.

I've only had to make this decision one time so far and it was the most difficult one I've ever had to make. My Pepper had stopped eating so I had to force feed him but he kept throwing everything up. The vet knew he had some kind of an infection but he didn't know exactly what is was. He was on a lot of different meds and he even became diabetic due to being on pred.

He was spending all of his time back in my bedroom and when I'd try to feed him or medicate him he kept on letting out the biggest sigh like he had had enough. I was losing weight, sleep, and hours at work trying to care for him. My roommate at the time talked to me about him and told me what she would do since she'd already had to put 2 of her dogs down before. I also talked to another lady who had this experience before.

Even though he didn't look too bad by his appearance, he wasn't the Pepper that I knew. All he did all day was to sleep in a box in my bedroom. I finally decided that he had enough so I stopped his meds and force feedings and I spent the weekend just giving him lots of love. On Mon. morning I called my vet at the time to let him know that I wanted him put to sleep. It was a hard decision but I knew that he would then be at peace and that we'd meet again some day.

Taz will let you know by the look in his eyes, his actions, moods etc. You will know when both you and he have had enough. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[Taz_Zoee]

Wow, any time I need a good cry I'll just come to this thread. Reading everyone's experiences again is breaking my heart. I knew it would someday come to this for me too. And I also knew that I'd have PT to help me through it when the time came. I can't thank you all enough for being there for me through this difficult time.

We just did his sub-q's and he actually did good. No growling and he only moved a teeny bit. I also gave him is epogen shot this morning. That could be why he was hiding in the bathroom today. Hopefully that and the fluids will kick in and he will have a better day tomorrow.

Yes, it has been hot here and we think that's why he likes to hang out in the bathroom because it's cooler. We try to keep the house fairly cool, especially since Bruce works from home. I understand what you mean by the look in his eyes. And a couple of times I thought I saw it. But I don't think it's consistent enough yet. He has his good days and bad days. So once he has several bad days in a row I'll know it's time. I'll just hope that it's not while I'm gone and he's in my moms care. I don't want my mom to have to make that decision or go through that heartache.

Oh, I've been cheating a little on his antibiotics. I let the pill disolve in tuna juice and he drank it up. Probably not the correct dosage, but close enough. The doctor told me to finish the pills and there are 10 pills that I break in half. That's twenty days! That seems like a lot to me. I'll ask her about it when we go in on Thursday. The Maalox I can handle because it's not much and it's liquid so it goes down easier.

I can (and will) make it through this!!!!!