Hubby refuses to take his meds -- help!

[catnapper]

Bear with me, this is long. Please read it all. I am in tears writing this. I seriously need help here.

I'm at my wit's end. Hubby has high blood pressure. A year ago, he was told he's a walking heart attack waiting to happen. A few months ago, he went for a recheck and his blood pressure was awesome. That apparently meant he could stop the meds.... at least thats what HE thought.

When he's off his meds, he's quick to explode. He says its because he's finally saying something about things that have always bothered him. I say that if he took his meds, these things wouldn't bother him. We're talking about serious bothersome things like the ice in his drink melted. or someone took the tv remote (it was under his butt )

I tried logic, telling him that he's playing with his health. He retorts that his BP is only high because I'm nagging him about the pill -- trust me, I hate nagging and I wouldn't do so unless I noticed that he NEEDS the pill.

Ok, so he doesn't want me to nag? I begged him to go to the doctor for a BP recheck, and I'll shut up if the doctor says his BP is perfect. He KNOWS his weight is directly tied to high blood pressure... and he's recently gained all the weight he had lost 6 months ago, right before the last recheck. He refuses to go for a recheck, and I told him its because he knows the doctor will lecture him and tell him his weight is up, and so is his BP.

I've tried the guilt trip. I told him I need him. The kids need him. Cam needs him. Does he want Cam to only remember his grandpa from photos in 10 years?

Tonight I actually snuck in a little sarcasm... I was holding Pouncer after I gave him his meds. I said, "Pouncie's a good boy. You take your medicine like you're supposed to!" Pouncer groweld at me and hubby shot darts from his eyes

Let's just say life hasn't been too much fun with him the past few weeks. I can totally tell when his BP is high because his face becomes beet red and then its like a bomb exploded. We all duck for cover. He's VERY lucky I know its his BP and not him. VERY lucky.

Help?

[Karen]

Get a BP kit at the drugstore - they aren't very expensive, and it'll be easier than getting him to a doctor. Then Google "high blood pressure" and pint out all the ways it can not only kill you, but damage you physically to make the rest of your life miserable. Stroke, heart damage, organ damage - all are not NOT fun. You can also check your own blood pressure, and everyone's just for fun, and keep a chart.

[catnapper]

I hadn't thought of the BP kit. Printing things out will NOT work. I've done that in the past and all it does is get us into a huge fight because I somehow insulted him.

And for the record, my BP is absolutely perfect -- went ot the doctor a few weeks ago.

[Catty1]

This might sound strange....Apologize for nagging. Qualify that by saying that he IS an adult, and he knows best about his health, and what to do.

Then DROP it. Totally.

Based on some stuff I have read - men really feel disrespected when treated like little boys who don't know what is good for them (I know I know ).

So trust him to be a grownup who knows what is best, and let him know that.

ANY nagging or sarcasm just puts his back up - and he forgets about being healthy - because he'd rather be right and defend himself than be healthy!

Reduce his options.

[Edwina's Secretary]

I bought a blood pressure machine for my father....from Walgreen. It is idiot-proof. You stick your arm in it and press a button. It even does stuff like record the last I-don't-know-how-many readings so you can track what is happening. It tracks his pulse and I don't know what all else.

He loves it. I think the electronics of it make it even more fun....

[Marigold2]

Tell him you are taking out a big life insurance policy on his name. Since he won't take his meds, you might as well be a rich widow. That ought to scare him enough to hopefully take his meds.

[ramanth]

I have to concur with Catty. My dad has a history of high BP, but my mom doesn't. She went out and bought one of those machines and just started using it daily just because. Dad's curiousity got the best of him and now they check each other's BP daily, compare notes, and dad's been visiting the doc regularly and taking his meds.

[Glacier]

Tell him you are taking out a big life insurance policy on his name.

That's pretty much what I do when Stuart is about to do something stoopid except I already have the policy! I just asked if he's paid the premiums!

[catnapper]

Bwahahahaha, I did something slightly evil. Hubby's been having foot pain. Heels - most likely heel spurrs or whatever you call them. He couldn't even stand up last night from the pain. So I finally convinced him he needs to see a doctor. At least then they'd help the pain, either through orthodics or foot surgery. Ok, he agreed to see the doctor.

So I called this morning and got an appointment for this afternoon. I told them his BP will most likely be high and to talk to him about his meds. I mentioned there might be a side effect thats keeping him from taking the meds, so would the doctor please ask about side effects. I told them that hubby CAN NOT know I told them about his BP meds. If its coming from the doctor and he sees how high his BP is, then he can't argue. I hope he gets a long lecture on how you just can't stop meds without a doctor's permission, etc.

Please keep your fingers crossed that his BP is high (otherwise *I* actually am the one with the problem here and is causing all the grief in the house lately ) and that the doctor puts him on a new med, along with a serious talk about how life-threatening his high blood pressure is.

Hubby is far from perfect but I can't imagine life without him... I want and need him around for a long, long time.

Thanks so much for everyone's support and suggestions.

[Randi]

I think you did the right thing, talking to his doctor about this - since he won't listen to you.

Hope it's a doctor who has time to have a serious chat with your husband, so he realizes the importance.

[crow_noir]

Well, i may be a little late to say good luck, but i can still wish it anyhow for the future.

How did things go?

[catnapper]

Well, here's the conversation last night

Me: how'd the doctor go? What did he say about your foot?
Hubby: I have to go for Xrays.
Me: What does he think it is?
Hubby: I dunno. Maybe spurrs, or a ligament
Me: Is that all? Nothing else? (notice me NOT say anything about BP?)
Hubby: Yeah, you have to pick up my allergy and heart medicaine tomorrow.
Me: ah, I told you your BP was high!
Hubby: Well I wouldn't need it if you didn't hassle me about everything (this time he was totally joking)

He refused to tell me anything else but apparently it was REALLY high and he got quite an earful from the doctor. I hope he remembers this lesson and doesn't stop taking it in the future.

I am just so happy that he's now back on his meds. He's on the same stuff, but now there's a second prescrption. He didnt know what its was for... perhaps anti-swelling for his ankles? I'm going to look it up tonight after work. Right now I'm running very late for work!

Thanks again guys! Your ideas were wonderful!

[Catty1]

And you might want to ask the pharmacist about side effects and how long they might last - and maybe things that can be done to minimize them.

I applaud your husband for joking when you did the "I told you so"! I don't blame you - I would've added a few more myself!

Glad you'll have him around for a while.

Does he 'cook healthy'? Baking and broiling and steaming? Maybe this is a time when he might be interested in one or two healthy recipes - or just changing the way he cooks a couple already.

Glad he is back on meds and will be with you for a while.
HUGS!

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Everytime I get a medicine filled here, our pharmacy gives me a sheet describing the med and it's possible side effects. Be sure and check with your pharmacy, just so you will know what to look for.

Glad he's back on his med. Did he put him on a low salt diet yet?