I don't know what to do.....

[sweet_stormy]

I don't know what to do.... I don't live with my dad and I wish I knew him. My mom asked me and my brother if we wanted to see our dad again and my brother said he didn't, so I said the same. But deep down I think I sort of want to see my dad again. I'm thinking about calling his brother (my uncle) and asking him for my dad's number. I'm scared though. I want to meet my dad and see what his personality is like and to meet my little half brother and half sister. My mom left my dad when I was about a year old. I'm 14 now. Do you think I should give my dad a chance to get to know me? I have never really talked to him. I need help! Please...

*~Becky~*

[guster girl]

I would meet him. Don't go into expecting to get a daddy out of the situation. Or even a friend, for that matter. But, I would at least meet him, see what he's like. I think it'd be better to know one way or the other than to wonder your entire life.

[rg_girlca]

Go with your heart sweetie. If you really want to meet him, than do it, because if you don't, you may regret it later on.
Talk with your Mom again and let her know how you really feel about wanting to meet your Dad.

Good luck in whatever you decide and please keep us posted on how you are doing.

[moosmom]

rg is right. Go with your heart. But a word of caution...don't expect alot, this way you won't be disappointed if it doesn't work out the way you had hoped.

Everyone deserves a second chance. Life is way too short for a bunch of "what ifs" and holding grudges.

Good luck honey! Please let us know how you make out.

[leslie flenner]

if your not sure can you say "maybe?" For now? (#1 question) If you say "not this minute, but yes later.", does that mean all options for future contact are closed? (#2 question) And, lastly, what does he want? Have you asked what he wants? Can you make a list of questions for him? it would probably ease tension for both of you for the first meeting- bear in mind, he may not have answers or he may not have answers you expect. Maybe you could also make him a list of things you've done and been happy about in your life- things you'd want to share with him?
I often thought of meeting my father but never have- keep us posted on how this goes for you no matter how you decide! good luck!

[leslie flenner]

one last question. Why did your brother say "no"?

[jazzcat]

I agree to go with your heart too. Do what feels right to you.

Good luck!

[heinz57_79]

I go with the majority.. follow your heart. You may be pleasantly surprised, but then you may be bitterly disappointed as well. But at least you could say you made the effort. I'm sure the way he would react towards you would have a lot to do with his and your mom's breakup. But then, he may be happy that you took the initiative. Just do what you think is right! And good luck!

[Kfamr]

I'm sure you've noticed already, but you and your brother are two different people. You have your own heart, your own mind, and your own feelings. Do what YOUR heart says... not your brothers.

If meeting your father is what you truely want, then go for it. Your brother does not have to be a part of it if he wishes not to.

[catnapper]

By all means, try to meet up with your father. My brother spent his whole life feeling as if he was missing something... our father. He was too afraid to say so in highschool and then in college he started to really NEED to meet our father. Problem was that our father wasn't exactly the most reliable man and finding him once we became adults was impossible. My brother has spoken to our paternal Uncle and has gone to family reunions... but never once met our father. Nobody knows where he is. Not even the IRS! You see, my brother is a junior and the IRS keeps sending HIM the nasty letters about tax evasion instead of our father.

Even after all of these years, he still feels the loss of our father and wants to meet him. I am quite content to never meet my father ever again. I'm being true to myself - by not looking for my father, and my brother is being true to himself by looking for him.

Don't wait til its too late. Once you meet him, YOU can decide if he's the person you hoped he'd be, the person you feared he be, or something all together different. Just be honest with your mom and let her know that you don't want to hurt her by showing interest in meeting your father, that you just want to meet him. She should understand.