Two dogs to the Bridge

[Mary101]

Hi, Pet Talk. It's been a while since I posted last. Unfortunately, I have a painful topic to discuss and that I need some advice about. I used to have three wonderful dogs. Then, last week, somehow or another, one of my "babies" got out and was hit by a car. He died instantly, or so I was told. Less than 24 hours later, when I was at work, I received a called form Animal Control telling me that they had picked up the body of another one of my dogs. He, too, had been hit by a car in almos the same location as the other dog. They told me that this second dog almost certainly died instantly. I am suspicious that my dogs had been "helped" out of the yard, since for years none of my dogs have ever gotten out. I have spoken to Animal Control and the local police about this. But my real dilemma is this; I am finding this double blow almost too hard to deal with. The dog that I have left is in a deep, deep depression and the vet. has been trying to help me help her, but what ever I do, it doesn't seem to help her much. In general, people don't "get it" and tell have been telling me "Hey, they were just dogs! Get over it!" I don't know how to work through this. I am seriously considering adopting another dog, but I don't know if this is the best move, right now. If any of you have any advice out there in Cyberland on how I can deal with my feelings about my dogs in an "un-canine-caring" world and especially if adopting another dog to help all of us (including my one remaining dog) is a good idea right now. My sense tells me that adopting a dog as therapy to get through mourning is NOT a smart move, but my heart is really aching right now.

[Glacier]

I am so sorry for your losses. How terribly difficult to have to deal with two deaths at once. They were not just dogs. I hate it when people say that! They were members of your family and will forever be in your heart.

Your heart will tell you when the time is right and when you have found the right dog to add to your family. It might help your dog to have a playmate. Everyone mourns differently and maybe a new addition would help you. Personally, I tend to adopt a new furbaby very quickly after losing one. The ones who gave gone on are never replaced in my heart and certainly never forgotten, but it helps me to fill the physical hole in my home, even if I can't fill the one in my heart. The new babies always find their own corner of my heart to take over.

[Stenograsaurus]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Is your yard fenced or were they tied out? If it's fenced and you think someone is opening the gate to let them out, try getting a padlock for the gate. In the meantime, keep your remaining dog in the house while you're at work. As far as the depression goes, I do know that there have been cases where getting another dog has helped the remaining dog with their depression. I know that when we had lost a dog while I was growing up, my parents had always gotten another one as soon as possible. It really helped us with the mourning. Of course, we never forgot the one that had passed on. Nothing could replace the ones that have gone to the Bridge. Having said that I have to say that you are the only one that can tell if you're ready for another dog right now.
Again, I am so sorry for what you've had to endure. My heart aches for you.

[anna_66]

I'm so sorry to hear this

I also had 2 of my dogs get out about 2 weeks ago & I came home & found them on the busy county road just up the street. This story of yours hits so close to home. My 2 could of had the same fate as yours, but luckily they (and me) were spared.

If I found my remaining dog was going into depression, I personally would have to get another playmate for her.
We did this last year when our Keisha died. But, it would have to be the right one. This would have to be such a dilema for you.

I will keep you & your furbaby in my thoughts and prayers.

Take Care

Anna

[sasvermont]

Gosh, such a sad situation.

Just wanted to let you know that you seem to be doing the right thing and also that we are all here to help you through it. You have to do all the work though.

I once lost a Scottie I was oh so attached to. It was hit by a car (it got out of its yard).....and it was hit right in front of the place where I took it for fun....so I felt very guilty. I cried for hours and hours and was totally out of control. That night my Mom suggested that we get another pup and we did. It so happened that the RIP dog and the new pup had the same father! Anyway, the little pup helped so much. I never forgot Jake and Missy #2, was similar in looks, their personalities were totally different. One can never replace a dog - or pet - but you can certainly find a new worthly pet to shower your love and attention on....and then, guess what? You get all of the love right back.

There are so many doggies and kitties out there needing a good home.... so I vote for a new pup - young, old, whatever....and I bet your dog at home will be happy too. Companionship is so very important.

My heart goes out to you. You must grieve - and you will know when you can rest easy with the thought of a new partner in your home.

Open your heart and let a new one in..... bet there is lots of room left even after your two precious ones left this earth.

((((((((Rest in Peace Doggies)))))))))

[aly]

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine that situation. How awful for you I know the terrible hurt you must be going through. I pray no one took them out of the yard. That would be absolutely horrendous.

Everyone has different opinions on how long you should wait to adopt a new pet after losing one. i think its just different for everyone. I know that for myself, it would help immensely to get another one right away. I wouldn't be replacing my lost baby, and I know I could never do that. But I would be bringing a new love into my life to help me through the tough times. I wouldn't just rush out and grab any puppy I saw though. I'd make sure there was a special bond with that animal before adopting

I wish you luck in your decision. You will know in your heart when it is the right time. Your heart will also tell you which baby is right for you.

Please give your dog a hug and kiss from me.

[sabies]

That is so awful, I hope you can figure out how the dogs got out and put an end to that. Perhaps the second one went looking for the first? Everyone at pet talk understands why you're having a tough time - I wouldn't expect you to get over it quickly. I'm sure your 3rd dog and yourself are upset for each other's loss as well as your own. Don't feel bad about grieving; grieve as long as you need. A new dog sounds like a good idea - it will help relieve some pain but of course is not a replacement.

[sammi]

I am so sorry for the pain you feel. Most people who are not animal lovers don't understand and its hard to talk to them about this terrible pain you feel - but here you can talk and we all understand. This might be a site you would like to visit.
http://www.petloss.com/

You have been given some helpful advice. When you are ready to get a new dog - a rescue might be a good idea as you would be saving a life and your 2 dogs that have passed on to the R.B. would want you to share your love with another animal.

[Karen]

I would take the remaining dog with me to a shelter and see how he reacts to other dogs again. He may help you "choose" a new friend, or he may stick like glue to you, giving you an indication that he's not ready yet.

I would ask neighbors if they saw anyone near your yard just before the incident - that does sound peculiar, and though nothing will bring your babies back, it would be good to know whether your current dog would be safe or not.Is your yard gated, where someone could have opened the gate, then shut it again? If so, can you get a lock for it?

Our hearts ache for you, sooooo sad, you have the right to grieve and we understand how big a part of your life the dogs were.

[tatsxxx11]

My heart is breaking into a million pieces at the news of your very tragic loss Please accept my deepest, most sincere and heartfelt condolences. I hope that time and the love of friends family and your furry one will help you to heal. Your heart will let you know when the time is right to add another. I hope that you will find how the doggies got out so that you will not have to relive this horror again. I will keep you in my prayers. Love, Sandra, Star and Cody.

[DoggiesAreTheBest]

Oh Mary, please accept my most heart felt sympathies for your tragic loss. They were not just dogs. They were members of you family whom you loved so dearly and will miss always.

I do hope that no one helped your dogs escape. I would hate to think that anyone would do something like that, but unfortunately, it is not entirely impossible.

Only you can tell if adopting a new friend this soon is a good idea. Your other dog will help you. Find comfort in eachother. Best of luck to you.

[Sudilar]

Oh how tragic. I would be devastated, especially if I thought that someone let them out. I would report it to the police. I have a 6 ft. tall fence with key locks on both gates.

I am just so upset reading your post. I don't know if I could stand it. Those who have never known the love of a dog, have no clue. Their loss. We know how you feel and they are not "just dogs." They are family. They are friends. They are protectors.

In my case, after the death of each of my dogs, I started my search for the next a few days after their death. It took me about a month and a half to find Killian. I knew he was the one. My daughter and I searched all the area shelters over and over, til one day I was called in to view a Great Pyrenees and instead, I came home with my dear sweet Killian. I still mourned my Avalanche, but everytime I got sad, Killian would make me laugh. There was no time for sadness anymore. When the time is right, you will know. My heart goes out to you.

[jenluckenbach]

Originally posted by Karen
I would take the remaining dog with me to a shelter and see how he reacts to other dogs again. He may help you "choose" a new friend, or he may stick like glue to you, giving you an indication that he's not ready yet.

I would ask neighbors if they saw anyone near your yard just before the incident - that does sound peculiar, and though nothing will bring your babies back, it would be good to know whether your current dog would be safe or not.Is your yard gated, where someone could have opened the gate, then shut it again? If so, can you get a lock for it?

Our hearts ache for you, sooooo sad, you have the right to grieve and we understand how big a part of your life the dogs were.

What she said.
I am so sad for your losses. I once lost two cats in the same week and it was a hard blow. (but they were to old age, not terrible like this)
In most situations I'd say that a new friend to love helps you get past the hurt and on to the feelings of wonderful memories, BUT I am worried that there may be foul play and you should keep that in mind.
Again, I could not be more sorry.

[Mary101]

Thank you everyone at Pet Talk. Our yard is double-fenced (6 feet) in most of the back and we do have locks on the gates. Fortunately, our local police/animal control people take cases of animal abuse and "mysteries" such as mine VERY SERIOUSLY! They have been very sympathetic and helpful. This morning I went out to play with my one remaing dog and I saw a very small, very thin, very dirty Siamese (????) kitten sleeping with her in her bed. Although I have a cat (Fluffy, the Cricket Terminator), I think that this new little guy has found a home. I think that my dog is just so glad to have another four-legger to be with, she doesn't care that this new friend is a different species! My dog was wagging her tail, licking this poor thing, and she even gave this kitten her chewy bone! The kitten looked stunned by all the doggy attention, but took it lwell. I do think that in a few weeks, I will be looking for another dog to adopt, hopefully an older dog. As usual, everyone at Pet Talk was so wise -- I'm just not ready yet, but my heart will tell me when it is time to adopt. Again, thank you all.

[ramanth]

Oh Mary, I'm so sorry for your loss.

And how adorable that your dog has answered your question for you by adopting a stray cat.

I concur with Karen when you decide the time is right to adopt another dog.

My heart goes out to your family.