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Thread: Excerpts from your pet's dairy

  1. #1

    Excerpts from your pet's dairy

    Got this off another site. It's so cute

    ----------------

    EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
    8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
    9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
    9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
    10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
    11:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
    Noon - Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
    1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
    4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
    5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
    5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
    6:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
    6:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
    8:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

    EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

    Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
    Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and replies these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.
    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
    The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time......

    “I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running
    from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you.
    I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.”
    - Jack Kerouac; On The Road

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    7,660
    I've seen that before, but laughed all over again. That's Malone & Marigold to a T!!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,385
    Thanks for that! LOL! We all need a good laugh!

  4. #4
    Guest
    LOL!! That's a good one!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Kentucky, USA
    Posts
    2,881
    LOL OMG, that is hilarious! Thank you for sharing it

    Thanks for the signature & avatar kfamr

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    edmonds, wa
    Posts
    2,779
    LOL! thats funny!

  7. #7
    No problem. Glad you guys liked it.

    “I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running
    from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you.
    I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.”
    - Jack Kerouac; On The Road

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Kirkland, WA
    Posts
    2,318
    It is still good!!!

    Bob & Joey,
    and their happy and willing slave, Bryan.

    Many Thanks to Kay for the Picture.

    My motto - "Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE!!!!"

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Toronto, ON
    Posts
    6,297
    LOL! Thanks for sharing that, I'm going to email it to people
    - - Tiffany && Blueberry - -

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