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Thread: Dear Dog and Cat,

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Aquidneck Island
    Posts
    8,333

    Dear Dog and Cat,

    LOL! My SIL sent me this one, can you relate?

    Dear Dog & Cat...

    The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
    dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in
    the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your
    food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
    me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
    faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
    about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
    comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
    It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
    fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out
    and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing
    but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
    some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
    necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw
    under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
    same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine
    or feline attendance is not mandatory.

    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's behind.
    I cannot stress this enough!

    To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
    front door:

    Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

    1. They live here. You don't.
    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
    (That's why they call it "fur"niture).
    3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is
    short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

    Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: eat less,
    don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when
    called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't
    smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear
    your clothes, don't need gazillion dollars for college, and if they get
    pregnant, you can sell their children.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    7,307
    Cute, and oh, so true!!! Thanks!

    Ashley & Crossbone ("mini ACD")
    Living with my parent's: Jack (Lab/Beagle), Micki & Mini (JRTS)
    RIP Kyra: 07/11/04 - 11/3/12; Shadow: 4/2/96 - 3/17/08

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    indianapolis,indiana usa
    Posts
    22,881
    Yes, I've seen this before, and it's still funny. Love it.
    I've Been Boo'd

    I've been Frosted






    Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    4,243
    Hilarious! I find the bit about the bed to be only too true...

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    40,169
    Those Are So Very True And I Wish I Could Put This In Cat Talk,so The Cats Would Realize The Rules.
    But Then Again The Kitten Cant Read.
    THE RAINBOW BRIDGE FOUND HOTEL ANGELS HAVE A NEW FRIEND IN CORINNA.


    ALMOND ROCCA BATON AND ELLIE ANGELS ARE GUARDIANS TO ETERNAL KITTENS ROCC-EL AND T TEEN ANGEL, ALMOND ROCA , VLAD , PAWLEE , SPRITE. LITTLE HEX, OSIRIS AND ANNIE ANGELS.
    EBONY BEAU TUBSTER AND PEACHES BW SPIKE & SMOKEY


    NOW PRECIOUS AND SAM ARE TOGETHER WITH ETERNAL KITTENS SAMMY ,PRESLEY, SYLVESTER AND SCRATCHY JR , MIGHTY MARINA, COSMIC CARMEN, SAMSON ,UNDER KITTY AND SUNKIST AUTUMN & PUMPKIN.
    MIA AND ORANGE BLOSSOM ANGELS HAVE ADOPTED TUXIE , TROOPER , SONGBIRD AND LITTLE BITTY KITTIES MIA-MI BLOSSOMER, TUXEDO AND DASH AS THIER ETERNAL KITTENS.
    PRINCESS JOSEPH AND MICHAEL ARE CELEBRATING 19 YEARS AS LUCKY FOUND CATS

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Cleveland, Ohio
    Posts
    5,486
    I LOVE IT! I can relate, lol
    You're the one sure thing I've found so you better stick around...
    Best Fireman in da House´10
    dedicated to the kindest,loveliest and always helpful man that one would be honored and proud to know........R.I.P. Dear Phred

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