I feel terrible! Hospital maybe??New UPDATE!

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Sorry because I don't reply as much as I used to do . I make sure you all get pics from my cats, but that's about it, as I cannot spend much time on my pc.
What is wrong with me??
Some of you must remember my continuous back problems over the last years. I had a major operation in 2003, when I got an artificial disc implanted.
But that is just the beginning of he troubles... .
Within 1 year I got 2 blood-clots in my legs: I am forced to take bloodthinners for the rest of my life... .
The worst is this: end of 2004, I lost feeling in my legs, could hardly walk or stand. I was in hospital during 2 weeks then. Part of my lower legs was paralysed and numb. After the removal of bone-marrow from my spine, and several brainscans, a conclusion was made: it was almost 60% sure that I have MS (multiple sclerosis). Not 100% sure, so I am NOT allowed to take medicine to stop MS yet.
Since November this year all my joints are hurting terible, and it is very painful to get up from sitting, and put weight on my legs. I got cortizone shots in January. For nearly 3 weeks, the pain was much less, and I believed I was finally getting better.

BUT............ it just doesn't work for me. All the joints and muscles are extremely painful again. I can hide it very well to other people, so lots of friends don't know till I tell them... . I really am at my wits end now. What will happen with me? Do I have MS or not? If not, what is wrong then?? I am not in doubt that it IS MS, as my mom has it in the highest degree. She is paralysed 100% (she is 83)... .

I phoned my neurologist today and told her all about what is going on now. She sais she wants to see me asap, so that will be coming Tuesday afternoon. She also gave me a scaring message: "Be sure to bring your PJ's with you: I think it is possible that you have to stay in hospital for tests.."
Tests???? OMG, that means another withdrawel of bone marrow from my spine. It is VERY painful, and you have to lay down (head lower than feet) for at least 24 hours.. . If not, your brain might get hurt and give unbearable headaches! Lots of unpleasant tests will follow...
I am so scared and upset right now. I am sorry for venting here, and for this long post. But I really need my friends now! I don't know how to handle this situation any longer. I try to be jolly, but I just cannot do this any longer
I am so nervouss but also very depressed; I am just sitting or lying there all day, worrying and worrying. The result is that I sleep badly too now...

I need help from my friends here on PT. I am desperate....

ps; Thanks God for my furry nurses. I don't know what I would do without them!! They fell something is wrong, and they come and lay on me on the couch.

[caseysmom]

I had a friend get diagnosed with MS recently, I thought it wasn't that hard to determine? MS as you know is degenerative over the years, you could have these types of symptoms for years from what I understand. I hope its not that....I know the older I get things just hurt more, could it be arthritis:?

[poofy]

I'm so sorry you have been going thru all this and more to come..
I hate to think of suffering like that..im crying for you cause my heart hurts for you so much..I will keep you in my prayers.My daughter had a deseased heart..no help but a heart transplant, which she wouldnt be able to get in time to save her..they doctors allsaid she would not live 2 years , we agreed in prayer that God would give her a new heart, now her heart was totally destroyed except for a tiny part that ws barely keeping her alive..and we prayerd and trusted God..and before the 2 years was up, they doctors were so amazed they couldnt belive her heart is complety new, like new tissuse and evey thing..We stand on our belive that God answers prayers because we have seen him do it so much..put your trust in God and let the doctors help with what they can, but belive with all your heart that whatsoeevey you ask in the name of Jeus he will give you..God bless you so very much..

[Karen]

Youi will be in our prayers, certainly. I do know that cortisone shots "wear off" after a period of time. Bring the silliest, goofiest slippers you won with you, in case you do have to stay in the hospital - that'll at least give you - and those around you - something to smile at.

I hope that, whatever the diagnosis, they figure something out that will help you and relieve some of the pain.

Then we need to somehow get at least Inka certified as a "Therapy Cat" so Bernard can bring her in to visit, otherwise, maybe Indra could get a very large purse and smuggle a kitty in! (Girls arouse less suspicion with a large purse than men do!)

[Husky_mom]

i really dont know what to say, hope its notingh serious and that they can give you something to feel better, you will be in my thoughts.........hugs

[Vela]

I'm sorry you are having such physical difficulties. It's very hard to be debilitated like that. I sympathize with you greatly. I hope they are able to figure out what is wrong and get you some help. Try not to despair. You will be in our thoughts and prayers that they can figure out what it wrong and help you feel better.

[Jadapit]

I'm sorry you are going through this! I also hope they figure out what is going on with you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. (((Hugs)))

[slick]

Oh Lut, I just don't know what to say except that I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away.

Sorry because I don't reply as much as I used to do

Don't ever be sorry. Lut, you are so loved and we all care about you. You are in my daily prayers, hon.

{{{hugs}}} and kisses to the furry nurses. They certainly know how to do their job.
xoxo

[furrykidsmother]

I am so very sorry to hear all that you have been going through. The waiting and not knowing I am sure is very difficult and the fear of having to go through more tests, especially the bone marrow withdrawal, that does sound scary. Please know that you will be in my thoughts and lots and lots of good thoughts and prayers are on their way to you.

[anna_66]

After our talk this morning I felt so terrible for you. I can't imagine the constant pain you are living with every day and been have the last few years. Makes me think maybe my hurts aren't so bad after all.
I hope that if you have to stay in the hospital that it's not for long. If you sleep bad at home it's got to be much worse being there.

Lut, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers hoping the pain of the tests are bearable for you.
Tell Indra to email with updates any time she feels.


Anna

[Kfamr]

So sorry you're not feeling well, Lut... please keep us updated and I hope you get some healing powers soon!

[Daisy and Delilah]

Lut, my heart is breaking for you. Oh how hard it is to endure what you're going through. I will pray for you really hard and I just hope that you're going to get better very soon

[catnapper]

Oh Lut (((hugs))))

I wish I could be there to help you through the scary parts. Thank goodness you do have the girls to help you through everything (and a caring hooman family too)

I'll be thinking about you and praying you finally get a diagnosis!

[rg_girlca]

Lut, I can only imagine what you must be going through. My heart goes out to you.

My prayers and positive thoughts are on the way.

Please try to keep the faith and keep up a positive attitude that the doctors will be able to help you with your pain.

((((((HUGS))))))

[Lizzie]

Lut,

I've only been reading your posts for a few weeks, but those have been so engaging that I feel I know you a little already and that has made reading your news very upsetting.

It's horrible to move from our own comfortable environment into that of a hospital (I feel that way even though I used to be a nurse) and suddenly feel powerless, constantly facing the unkown and the painful known. When I was facing major surgery, I bought myself a very expensive and glamorous ivory silk dressing gown to take to the hospital. Very impractical, I know, and I couldn't really afford it. But it made me feel as though I was stamping my personality onto an environment in which I would become just another patient, no matter how good the hospital. Having been through this kind of thing before, I'm sure you will remember to take things from home with you to remind you that you are going home when they've finished the tests. Perhaps you can take one of the cats' small toys with you to hold while they do the tests?

Please ask your daughter to keep us updated. We will want news and become anxious if we don't hear anything. Perhaps posting here will take her mind off what will be a distressing time for her also. I'm really glad you have close family to support you and to hold onto.

Hang tough! But don't hold back on asking for medication to help you through everything. My best wishes for as speedy a visit to the hospital as possible and the most hopeful results from your test.