Desperately needing advice (pics,too)

[iloverat]

Hi, guys. Here's an update on Briggs and Lydia. I wish it were better but it's not. That's where hopefully YOU come in. It's been almost a month now since Lydia came into our house. She is such a joy except for the fact that she will not leave Briggs alone. Briggs is much smaller than Lydia and verrrry skittish where Lydia is seemingly not afraid of much. Briggs has just been living on top of things lately, literally. Like on top of the bookcase or on top of the hot water heater. She feels safer up off the floor and elevated where she can see Lydia coming. Lydia will search the house til she finds Briggs and then the action starts. Lydia will try to get up to Briggs, meowing the whole time. After the meowing comes caterwauling. Briggs will start growling and hissing at that point and pulls back. Lydia keeps pressing until she finally charges. At that point Briggs is really scrambling to get away. It ends with a chase through the house, Briggs losing tufts of hair and at times she has suffered a scratch or a nick.

We decided to start all over again, placing Lydia back into a bedroom with litter box, food, etc. This has allowed Briggs to come down off the shelf. Lydia has been in the bedroom now for two days and Briggs is more relaxed. OK ---- what's the next step? How do we reintroduce Lydia? What can we do to make things less harrowing for Briggs? PLEASE write me back with suggestions as I honestly do not know what to do! I don't want to give Lydia back to her foster mother but Briggs cannot live on top of the hot water heater forever, either. I am so hoping you can help us.

Here is a picture pre-attack. Briggs is in her spot on top of the bookshelf. Lydia has figured out that she can get to Briggs from the other side of the shelf. I took a picture just to illustrate this story. Briggs will not even venture to the bookshelf anymore but will only go to the top of the hot water heater unless Lydia is closed in the bedroom as she has been the last two days. You can see here that Briggs already has her ears back as Lydia has been approaching her and making those noises. Sorry for the blurriness but you get the idea.

[iloverat]

[Lacey]

I'm afraid I don't have much advice for you. Just letting you know that you're not in this alone. I've had Kahlua for about 2 months now and she's still living in my bedroom because if she gets out, my other two get chased, fought with, and end up losing fur.

Since I don't have a baby gate to put up (not that it'd do any good since they could all be over it in two shakes), I've tried putting Kahlua on a harness and leash to let her out of the bedroom. And I'll fix up a plate of nice, stinky wet food for them all to eat from. The leash keeps Kahlua from charging, and since they all want stinky wet food, they're willing to get kind of close - even if they won't share the plate.

The only thing I can say for sure is to just be patient.

[iloverat]

Thank you, Lacey. I really appreciate your reply. I don't remember reading about your new arrival. Kahlua must have come on the scene when I was offline for an extended time period. Your situation sounds remarkably like ours what with the charging, chasing, etc. I can be patient, no problem. Just don't know how long to leave Lydia in the bedroom, when to try to reintroduce her or how to do that.

[iloverat]

Here's a nice picture of Lydia in one of her calmer moments.

[King Spartacus]

Ok... some of you might find this a bit "cruel" (really... it isn't!), but how about buying a water pistol, and shoot Lydia everytime she attacks Briggs (remember not to shoot her BEFORE she attacks... she then won't understand why she's getting squirted), and NEVER after the attack.

If they have to be left alone (like during the night, or during workhours), put them in seperate rooms (due to the fact that you'll have to squirt her EVERY time she attacks Briggs). Lydia will soon associated attacking Briggs with getting wet, and hopefully she'll stop soon...

What ever you choose to do, I wish you luck!!!

[kimlovescats]

First of all ... ((((HUGS)))) Bobbi! Do you think that Lydia is just wanting to play with Briggs, or do you feel it is a territorial type of thing? Depending on your answer, my suggestions would be a bit different. Lydia may be trying to set a pecking order with Briggs, but I agree that you don't need or want Briggs to be terrorized or traumatized in her own home! I have a feeling that Lydia is trying to just play, and she is very frustrated that Briggs isn't interested in being her friend!

Maybe go back to the crate thing I had suggested once before .... Lydia in "lock-up" in the center of the room, with Briggs as the dominant one, circling and sniffing. Maybe in time, Lydia will realize that Briggs is upper rank and will settle down a bit. When you let Lydia out for playtime, just do so in another room. I hope this helps some, I know it is upsetting and frustrating ... but I really do feel that in time things will work out.

Kim

[iloverat]

Hi, Kim and (((hugs))) to you, too. I am sorry I never got back to you on what happened with the crate. We did put Lydia in the crate and Briggs would not have anything to do with it. She never circled the crate, sniffing.....just nothing. I am certainly willing to try it again. My guess is that if Briggs walks into the room and sees Lydia in the crate, that she will skedaddle and go back to a hidey hole. Hmmm....I guess I could close the door where Briggs could not leave the room and see what happens. She would have 2 options - check out Lydia or hide somewhere in the room! *sigh* I feel like a failure because I honestly just do not know what to do. It hurts me so much to think that I've made Briggs's life a living hell.
I think I will let Lydia stay in the bedroom awhile longer before I bring her out to try the crate. How long should I leave her in the cage when I do try this?

[Cataholic]

First, I don't think a month is nearly enough time to make any judgments on what is to come. Having said that, facts are- not every situation works out. I added Monte over one year ago, and he STILL terrorizes Georgia and Minnie. I hate it. I think I will go to the squirt bottle. It is worth a try. I do speak harshly to Monte when he attacks, and sometimes it works.

Good luck.

[kimlovescats]

Bobbi, I am so sorry you are having to deal with this ..... it just happens sometimes when there has been an "only cat" for a length of time. I would just leave Lydia in the crate a couple of hours, then move her back to her room. I know you have grown to love Lydia, but I also understand that you loved Miss Briggs first! It's a tough call, but I would at least give it some more time ... I agree that a month is not long enough.

This is just a sudden thought that entered my mind ... don't know if it would work, or terrorize both cats. Hmmmm. I was thinking, what if you put both cats in two separate crates, right beside eachother? So... neither of them could flee, but they would have to get used to being near the other one? Like I said, it might terrify Miss Briggs ... so you will just have to be the judge of whether or not to try this?

Kim

[catland]

I bought a couple of Feliway difusers at first. They are kind of spendy but they did seem to help calm everyone down.

I'm currrently employing the "time-out" system with the two that have difficulty (Sidney and new guy Strauss - Strauss thinks that he should be top-cat and Sid doesn't agree with him). If one of them is getting too stressed out - they get locked in their room for 10 minutes.

Sid was starting to get more skittish and nervous so I've been trying to give him extra love and attention.

Also, you might consider getting a collar with a bell for Lydia, this way at least Briggs can be warned.

Good luck, I know its frustrating.

[jenluckenbach]

I too wonder if Lydia is aggressive or playful. She may well need an active playmate to take out her energies on so Briggs can live out her life with a little peace. (This exact strategy worked for Payitforward and her 1st, 2nd and then 3rd cat).

If it is an agressive thing, medicate her. Talk to your vet. I house a lot of fosters, and I have one right now who is playful/dominant . If he attempt to play (and play rough) with a very shy cat who runs from him, he tends to intimidate that shier cat. I gave him a dose of an anti stress drug that I use for 2 of my own cats. It seemed to do the trick, and I only had to use it for about 3 days until a new behavior was established.

Don't give up after only a month. It may seem LONG while you are living it, but really in the scheme of things, try to give it more time.

[iloverat]

No, I am not near the breaking point yet. I do so want to keep Lydia. She's such a sweet cat except with Briggs. I, too have wondered if Lydia might just be wanting to play. Even though she is pretty big, the vet said she is only like 10 months old, therefore still a kitten. She's very playful with us and with her toys. What makes me think the charging of Briggs by Lydia is aggressive is the noises Lydia makes. She has never just tried to get close to Briggs and sniff which I would interpret as a peaceful approach. She always does that caterwauling which to my ears sounds like a prelude to an attack. I definitely could be wrong about that because I am not experienced with cats at all. These are my first kitties, ever.

I have tried clapping my hands and telling Lydia "NO" when her vocalizing gets to the "bad" part. She now knows she is not supposed to do that with Briggs. Now, if I walk into the room when she is howling and tell her "no", she will stop and run off. However, as soon as I turn my back, she returns to the scene of the crime and picks up where she left off. Toddlers!

All of your suggestions are so appreciated. I will keep trying and praying and trying and praying and trying.....Thank you so much.

Bobbi

[iloverat]

Jen,

What is the name of the anti-stress drug you use with your kitties?

[jenluckenbach]

Originally posted by iloverat
Jen,

What is the name of the anti-stress drug you use with your kitties?

Amitriptyline