Female kittens are less friendly?

**SammyCat** · 04-28-2005, 12:49 PM

Hello again everybody.

A few months ago I recieved a 2 month old kitten. And when I fist got her she was a very scared kitten. I don't know why. I was re-assured that in time she will grow custom to her surroundings. It's been 6 months now and there is no change. She hides in the basement, and only comes out when she's hungry. And she will no eat if there is a human in sight.

I just dont know what to do with her anymore. I just want to hold her and pet her. But she's scared. Could it be possible that she was perhaps abused by previous owners? She was only 2 months old when I got her.

Please help!!

**ladywizz** · 04-28-2005, 01:39 PM

This poor creature certainly has some major issues doesn't she. For an amimal of such a young age to behave in this manner, I would be worried.
It may be worth talking to an animal psychologist and see what they think as I am sure its even less fun for your cat with this behaviour.
It is possible that she may have had a bad experience as you suggested.

**kimlovescats** · 04-28-2005, 01:48 PM

It sounds to me like your kitten was feral (wild) when you got her. She most likely was born and raised outdoors by a feral mom, and has an inborn fear of humans. Patience and time should eventually win her over. Alot of us here on PT, myself included, have played the waiting game with ferals, and in time they become some of the most loving kitties we have!

GOOD LUCK, and please don't give up on her!

Kim

**cruisetime** · 04-28-2005, 03:35 PM

Just curious - is there any other cats around? Sometimes they seem to learn from each other. I had Meka for 5 months and then got Max 2 months ago and they are both picking up habits from each other. If there isn't another cat maybe another cat would help - one that is friendly to humans and older. Maybe even a male - male and female seem to get along better then female to female if older (territory thing) - at least so they say. Just an idea. It does sound like she was feral when you got her.

Another idea - and I don't know if this is a good one or not - but go to where she is hiding and sit real slow and don't threaten her in any way but just sit there and talk to her in a nice calm voice for a few minutes - and keep this up everyday a few times a day and maybe bring treats like tuna fish with you and see if she will come out. I'd not let her have it if she doesn't come out. Just sit it in front of you while you are there and take it with you when you leave and maybe after a few days she will want it enough to come out.

Just ideas - Debbie

**jenluckenbach** · 04-28-2005, 03:36 PM

I agree, she may well have been raised by a wild mom cat. If it were me, I would not allow her to hide in the basement. I would set up a room where she can live until she has a little more confidence. Then, during this time, you need to go in and be with her. it may be quite some time before she learns to trust, but as you bribe her with food and try to touch her gently (even if that means laying on the floor and petting her under the bed) she will see that you are friendly.

There are many tricks to making her dependent on you. As you said, shw will come out when she is hungry. So, make sure she knows WHO is supplying that food.

The reards are far from instant, but well worth the wait.

Best of luck with her.

by the way, has she been spayed yet? This would be the perfect time to schedule that and then start the reintroduction of her to your home with access to one small room where she can learn to feel safe.

**SammyCat** · 04-28-2005, 04:48 PM

I'm just very worried. I feel as if I am a bad owner because I can't communicate with my pet.

I have a 4 year old male tabby (Mark) and he is very very friendly, even to stangers. He and my female kitten (Sammy) get along, I often hear them running around down stairs playing.

Sammy is not spayed yet. I was told you should spay your cats when they are 2 years old. Mark is nutered.

**Uabassoon** · 04-28-2005, 05:05 PM

Originally posted by SammyCat

Sammy is not spayed yet. I was told you should spay your cats when they are 2 years old.

Two years is very long to wait before spaying a cat. Usually you want to spay them before their first heat cycle as every time they go into heat it will increase their chance for certain cancers.

**catmandu** · 04-28-2005, 05:11 PM

Two Years!That is far too late,for a Cat,to be spayed,asCats can start coming,into heat,when they are eight months old.And I had Cats,like Rocca,and Precious,who were afraid,of me,for overa year,and they love me now.Love,TLC,and a friendlyvoice,will bring your little Cat,around.

**QueenScoopalot** · 04-28-2005, 05:15 PM

I agree that your kitty was probably born outside, and not socialized to humans during those first two months. Jen's idea is very good about getting her spayed (they can be done as early as 2 months, and should be done by six) and putting her into a small room where you can prevent her from hiding so much. She has evidently bonded to your other cat so well, she feels she doesn't need to interact with you. I'd schedule her for a spay (whoever said two years is very misinformed

) and either crate her in a large cage, or a small sparsely furnished room where she can't hide. Also be very careful of her around screens that are flimsy. If she feels panicked, and the window screens aren't strong, a spooked kitty can go right through them. The sooner you start working with her one on one, the better.

**rkidsrcats** · 04-28-2005, 09:36 PM

You've gotten some of the best advice on PT from people who work with ferals and unsocialized cats all the time.

Our Norbert was like that when we took him in - his former caretaker (using that term loosely) did not EVER pet him - he spent all his time with 4 other cats on a screened porch. When we took him in, we set up a big kennel cage for the first week in my home office - he was free to come and go, but he felt safe in there and stayed there. I fed him, talked to him and worked in there most of the day with him watching me. The other cats came and went and everything was our normal routine. Within 3 days I was petting him and withing 3 months we were able to brush him, sit on the sofa with him and he wasn't hissing at us everytime we came in the room. But if we hadn't set up the interaction, I don't think it would have turned out so well.
Oh, and have yummy food treats with you when you do this. Associating you with something tasty is a good thing!

**Cataholic** · 04-29-2005, 11:58 AM

Two years before spaying? Yikes...that is pretty uninformed advice. I would consult with a knowledgeable vet in your area. Better yet, get on some websites of local area rescues, where you are more likely to find a plethora of information on that topic alone.

As to your timid female, I would say you need to be more patient. I know how hard it is. If you search on here for my posts on Minnie, you will see I am going on THREE YEARS! I cried the first time Minnie came out with me even in shouting distance. The first time she purred when I pet her? Oh, it was like Heaven on earth. I still can't approach Minnie, but, at least she doesn't always run everytime I come within 5 feet of her.

I don't suggest forcing her in any way. The idea of reading aloud, while sitting near her, leaving treats near her, avoiding direct eye contact, and never, never making her feel cornered by you can help. It just takes alot of time. Since you have another cat, be sure to make a big fuss over him/her where the timid female can see it. She needs to associate you with all things loving.

Don't give up. Be patient, and know that it is possible she won't be the lap cat you had hoped for.

Good luck.

**SammyCat** · 04-29-2005, 12:08 PM

I thank every single one of you for your replies. Thank you for helping me and giving me advice. I agree when you say you think this is a feral kitten. I adopted the kitten at the flea market, and the man was a farmer.

I just hope my kitten will get better soon.

**persianmom** · 04-30-2005, 08:27 AM

When I first got Oscar he was the same way. We would need to pick up the dryer and pull him out. Everyday I would get him out and wrap him in a towel or blanket of some type and I would sit and hold him talking and loving on him. After about six months of this he finally started to come out and jump in my my lap and didn't hide anymore. He now is my lap buddy whenever I sit down to watch tv or read. Be patience and let the furbaby know you care and love him.