Update on Ice Princess Lizzie

[sirrahbed]

I could not stand to leave her in the bathroom for more than yesterday but it seems to have helped! When I went in, she was all over me!! I think the problem is that she has Robbie and that is all she needs. So, for awhile, she was actually lovey-dovey to me, even after I let her out of the bathroom with everyone else. I thought she would bolt but she stuck with me even with the other kitties around. She slept on the bed last night and has been letting me pet her

Right now, she is sleeping nearby and I pet her now and then - though when sleepy - I can usually do this. I think I will just have to get used to having an aloof ice princess and try to feel like she loves me in her own way.

[jazzcat]

That's progress and I think it shows that with time she may come around. If she was truly getting more feral I think this experiment would have made her wilder, but it didn't. Hang in there, she may come around once she has fully matured.

At least she isn't like Ripley was. He used to stalk and attack me. He left me bleeding and in tears so many times and he didn't grow out of it for a very long time. The last time I was attacked was right before we got Jazz and he was 10 1/2 years old then so I had to deal with a raging cat for 10 full years. He was the main reason it took me 10 years to adopt a second cat. I thought all cats were like him and honestly I was not a true cat person until I got Jazz and saw what sweethearts they can be.

[jenluckenbach]

Sounds like you have a perfectly normal (MOODY) cat....LOL

In a few years when she has mellowed, you'll be wondering what all this fuss was about

[Grace]

I'm so glad things seem to be settling down with Miss Lizzie. She's such a gorgeous creature - and those eyes of hers.

[sirrahbed]

Thanks all. Maybe she is just a normal moody cat but it sure is troublesome to me - and very sad, frustrating. It makes me feel very sad and like I am not a good cat mom.

Lizzie is beautiful and healthy - but so different from any cat I have ever had. It is odd how she watches my every move - follows me with those eyes - it seems that she wants something that I am unable to understand and give her!! Sometimes, she sits near me and cries. I cannot for the life of me understand what she wants. There have been times when, during her crying - she lets me pet her, rolls over and cries more - then ends up biting me! (not hard)

For example - right now she is sleeping. I went and lay my head on her and petted her, she stretches and rolls over for me to rub her belly and seems so content. As soon as she wakes and sees me - she gets up and runs. It is the same with hubby. She won't even let Emily love and groom her anymore.

When she came home from the vet after her spay - maybe you guys remember how several of the others hissed and avoided her - it upset her and she ran to hide the rest of the day. I wonder if this has made her worse? The only cat she will be near now is Robbie. Of course - she did not have much to do with us before the spay either - and I was hoping she would get more loving - but she is definitely worse than ever.

It may be no big deal but it makes me feel awful. Maybe I am too concerned about how my kitties feel and if they are upset or unhappy. If I told anyone else this, they would not begin to understand. They would probably think I am nuts and maybe I am

To be positive - the only time she scratches is when I clip her nails or give her medicine - she has learned very well to sheath her claws on skin and Robbie has as well. It only took several "NO!" and a couple OUCH cries to stop that behavior. Same goes for their early kitten biting - I cried out and gave them a toy anytime they played rough with me. For example, when I have to pick her up and put her in her carrier for a vet visit - she is mad and fights me but no claws or teeth. I am glad for these things!! OK, that was trying to be positive!!

[kimlovescats]

I posted this in your other thread, but apparently you didn't see it!!!

Deb, I was the one who suggested isolating her, but NOT from you ... just from the other cats. I thought making her your personal room mate for a while, and giving her extra one on one would help.


__________________

[Twink]

Debbie, you might be right about her post-spay experiences stressing her out and having something to do with the increase in antisocial behavior. Of course, I only have two cats and two years worth of experience, so I don’t know much. But, after we had Rizzo spayed, he went through a panicky, antisocial phase where he did NOT trust us. And, you have to understand how weird that was. Rizzo is a MUSH. He loves people. But for a few weeks or a month or so there, every time we picked him up, he would kick and flail and scratch until he got down. And then he would puff up his tail and howl/growl at us and slink around with huge eyes for hours. If we tried to pet him, he’d run away. He didn’t seem to be in pain, just good and scared. It was So. Weird. I was about at my wits’ end. I felt so rejected and guilty and…I dunno, just bad. But, on my husband’s advice, I kept picking him up anyway (and so did hubby), and we treated him just like always, and eventually (a month or two) he was back to being his usual, lovey, gentle, goofy self. Nowadays he actually lets us put him on our laps upside down like a baby, and he’ll just lie there looking at us like, “What? Is this necessary? Dude, you’re *mussing* me,” until we let him go.

Sounds like Lizzie has a wild (calico. Heh) streak in her anyway, but this current phase of total don’t-touch-me-ishness might pass once she realizes that no one’s going to cart her off to the white coats anytime soon!

[catnapper]

Well it does sound like progress. I can understand your feeling of failuer - I'd feel the same way... blame myself for somehow not being the perfect cat mom or something. But you really must remember its her and not you! You are SUCH A FABULOUS cat mom! With your patience and love she will come around, like many others said in the other thread, it took their cats til almost two to finally let their gaurd down and open up lovingly to their humans.

[jenluckenbach]

You know, I had some seriuos panic-type feelings and feelings of failure when Calvin rejected me. I cried thinking he hated me and I was doing everything wrong. But we learned about each other's personalities and are the best of friends now.

[carole]

Debbie I think you will just have to accept Lizzie as she is, you can keep trying all the positive things and see if she changes any, but I believe it is just her personality, I have had my Lexie coming up two years, and still she is timid and strange at times, she is a real love-bug as well, but she is a scaredy cat for sure, maybe something happened in her past to make her this way, but maybe it is just the way she is, she still runs like heck when she see's my son, we have no idea why, he has never hurt or been mean to her in anyway,he will pick her up and kiss her and cuddle her, and she will just put up with it(being held by anyone is NOT her favourite thing) and when he puts her down she looks frightened and runs away, infact my Lexie has really only trusted my husband in the last few months, so it all takes time and really you should not feel bad, you are a great furmummy, just be patient and keep trying and good luck.

[rosethecopycat]

I'm sorry to hear that Lizzie is having troubles.
I recommend a behavorist. Not to be confused with a pet psychic or communicator.
I would only put my trust in the former, not the latter.

Here's a link to the behaviorist coming to our Spring Training at Siamese Rescue.

They say she is good.

http://www.petbehaviorist.com/pages/YODY.html


Keep your head up, and relax. Lizzie can sense your fear, so try not to let those feelings come through.

Rose

[christa]

See Deb, she still loves you!

Just remember what I told you about Josie . . . she was EXACTLY the same!!! Up until she was a little over a year old . . . now she's starting to become more affectionate. She's still super moody though! It's just her personality

Just give it time, Deb . . . I really think that this is just gonna be Lizzie's personality too. She'll warm up to you! It's just gonna take some time.

I never ever thought Josie would be coming to us for cuddles, but she does now, at least once a day!!!

Hang in there Deb!

[carole]

If it helps any Debbie , our Lexie would not even come on the sofa and sit near us, even though it has taken a year and a half, she now does that happily on her terms, infact today as I was snuggled up on the couch , she suprised the heck out of me , jumping up and sitting on my feet, I had a blanket over me as it was chilly this early morning, and I was reading a magazine, I was so thrilled, I praised her so much, and she looked like she understood, guess what she is still sitting there.,sometimes it just takes a whole lot of time.

[shais_mom]

It sounds like things are slowly looking up.
I can't offer advice as I have said before I am cat "stupid" but can offer support and lots of {{hugs}}!