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Thread: A Letter To All Pets

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    indianapolis,indiana usa
    Posts
    22,881

    A Letter To All Pets

    A LETTER TO YOUR PET

    Dear Dogs and Cats,

    When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with

    each other so there are still two of you in the way. The dishes with the paw

    prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain

    my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food

    does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that

    aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me

    to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster

    than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this.

    Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look

    at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not

    necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent

    possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging

    out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.

    My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle

    I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine,

    meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door

    open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using

    the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.


    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs or cat's butt. I cannot

    stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

    To pacify you, I have posted the following message on our front door.

    Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets:

    1. They live here. You don't.

    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

    3. I like my pet better than I like most people.

    4. To you it's an animal. To me he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short,

    hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.


    I've Been Boo'd

    I've been Frosted






    Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Cornwall, Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    84
    I love your letter...if only our furkids could read..hehehe The notice to non-pet owners is pretty good...hehehehe.

    ***

    ***
    Thanks for the awesome siggy & blinki Lexi_Lover

    Steph

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    North East Ohio
    Posts
    11,760
    That was great!!!
    ~Angie, Sierra & Buddy
    **Don't breed or buy while shelter dogs die!**

    I suffer from multiple Shepherd syndrome



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    1,103
    LOL!! That was really cute! Thanks for sharing
    [size=1]Rachel & Sally



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Ohio, USA
    Posts
    19,879

    Loved it!

    These are my favorites
    3. I like my pet better than I like most people.

    4. To you it's an animal. To me he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short,

    hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly
    Sooooo true

    Huney, Bon & Simba-missed so very much
    Remembering all the Rainbow Bridge Pets

  6. #6
    That's too cute and it's sure sounds familair!
    http://petoftheday.com/talk/signaturepics/sigpic9646_1.gif
    Forever in my heart...
    Casey.Ginger.Corey.Mandy.Sassy
    Lacey.Angel.Missy.Jake.Layla

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Gran Canaria, Spain
    Posts
    2,291
    i just read "the tissue warning" thread, and i am so glad i read this one right after! otherwise i would have to go to work crying.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    The Bronx
    Posts
    708
    hahaha great! i especially love the part about sleeping in the bed... sounds like smokey. it's amazing how a dog who is half the size of me takes up 3/4 of the bed!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Dorset, England
    Posts
    3,317
    that is cute but I wonder if they check their mailbox

    thanks k9krazee for the signature!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Pennsylvania, USA
    Posts
    3,858
    Very cute! I'm going to print a copy of it for the bulletin board for our local breed club.

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