My dad has prostate cancer...

[teenster3]

I got some bad news on Sunday.
My mom told me that my dad has prostate cancer. He was feeling sick for months (and being a "guy" and all didn't want to go to the doctor) when my mom and I finally had enough and told him to get into the doctor's office. A few weeks ago he told me the results of the test were fine. Then last week the doctor called to have him come in for a consultation. He was told that for his age (73) he was in overall good health although, they found 30% cancer which I'm not quite sure what that means yet. My dad said that he has had many friends with this and that they have all turned out ok. But, we're talking about "MY DAD" here! I don't mean to sound selfish in anyway. I know many people have diseases much worse than my dad but, if you only knew how "close" we are you'd understand! I've told a few people about this and all have something to say about it! I'm just not sure what to do. I'm 28, you'd think I could deal with this like an adult but, I feel like my whole world is falling apart! I told my friend at work today that, I feel like I made him get it by thinking negative thoughts that he may be sick. (She is a breast cancer surviver) I'm hoping deep down that he'll be ok but, I can't seem to get past that word>>>CANCER!
He's of course staying so strong and saying there's nothing to it but, is there? Does anyone know someone who has had this before?
I'm just feeling miserable about the whole issue. I've read up a little on it and plan on going with my dad to his treatments which, have been undecided yet. Is there anything else that I can do for him? Any comments would be appreciated and please keep him in your prayers!!!
Thanks
Tina

[Barbara]

First thing: it is normal that from time time you have negative thoughts about your dad. Everyone has. This hasn't made him sick.

Second: Cancer is not cancer. There are some very serious ones and some not so. Prostate cancer is something many older men get and in some cases it can stay a long time unchanged without getting dangerous. Many men die from other reasons although they have a prostate cancer. It happens so often that there are a lot of therapy options as well. So there is a high probability that your dad will be ok.

This is just some info to help you keep cool.

Your dad will need your love and in moments like this you see that the negative thoughts are only a temporary thing while the love between you is the underlying and stable feeling. That's the good thing in bad moments like that.

[Pam]

First of all age has nothing to do with how well we handle life's stresses. My dad had a stroke when I was just about your age and I can tell you I reacted much the way you are now. I don't have a whole lot of knowledge about your dad's particular type of cancer, but I did work with a woman whose husband had prostate cancer. He had some sort of surgery where they implanted some "seeds" that I believe delivered radiation to the cancer. She is no longer at my office, but the last I heard he was doing just fine. I am sure the doctors will have many options for your dad. So many strides are being made in cancer treatment these days. Try and keep your chin up for your dad's sake as well as your own. Please do let us know how he is doing. ((((hugs))))

[KYS]

Please try to keep positive around your father.
He will need positive thoughts.
Sending lots of hugs.

Karen

[jazzcat]

My Dad is a prostate cancer survivor for more than 13 years now. He will turn 82 next week! I pray the same wonderful outcome for your father.

Hang in there and hugs to you.

[teenster3]

Thank you!
I will reply when I have more news about him!

[Twisterdog]

My dad has prostate cancer as well. He is 79. He was diagnosed about a year ago. He is the same way - didn't want to go to the doctor, didn't want to talk about it with his kids, etc. Stubborn, proud old man.

I know exactly how you felt ... I said the same thing to myself a million times, "He is MY DADDY!!!!" It is VERY hard. However, I believe that the hardest thing for our dads to deal with is not their own illness, but knowing that their kids are sad and worried because of them. So I made a HUGE effort to be cheerful and happy around him, and act like nothing was wrong ... that seemed to be how he wanted it. I think it helped him a lot, knowing that I was ok.

Prostate cancer is a very slow growing cancer. Many times, they won't even treat it in older men, because it grows so slowly that it doesn't really do any harm during the man's projected lifetime. Because my dad is in great health for his age, they did do some treatments, which seem to be working. He is not feeling any ill effects at all.

I KNOW this is horrible and heartbreaking for you ... but, if your dad had to get some form of cancer, really, prostate cancer is the lesser of all evils.