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Thread: Withdrawn

  1. #46
    Today is not a good day. I went and got a $10 game for my pc. I got it loaded and it wouldn't work, mean while my husband is at his pc playing the game he just got. I was very mad, upset, hurt and so on. Over a stupid game. Instead of keeping a clear head I got mad. I am still mad.

    I know I have alot of issues that I need to work through. Those of you who are on medication, I have to apploud you for that. I my self hate taking pills. I had a very bad experence with them and now try to refuse to take them at all costs. I am curently on a few pills, that make my life a little better. Although they are suppose to help me medicly, I forget to take them or I remember and just don't feel like putting a pill down my throut.

    I also try to refuse to go to see a doctor. I took a very hard fall at work on friday, I refused to tell the managers because I knew they would send me to a doctor. Since friday I have really bad back pains if I move a certain way. I know I should probably go in, but no matter what any one says I will refuse. I can not begin to tell you how much I dislike doctors. After one of them took my dad's life I refuse to let them take mine as well. Even though I know it was just 1 doctor out of how ever many we have in this word but still to me it doesn't matter.

    Sorry about my rant. I am done now.

    Katie

  2. #47
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    11,191
    Katie I am sorry to hear you had such a rough day, we have ACC here, if you have an accident at work, then doctors fees are subsidised and if you are permanently injured you also get a payout either lump sum or ongoing, I guess USA is different, Have you not found a doctor you can trust, I can understand how you must feel, but you may have really injured yourself and need some treatment, if you feel worse please consider seeing a health professional.

    Sirrahbed it was tough reading what has happened to you in your past, and you are as normal as any of us, we all have our funny little quirks, things that bother us , whatever, your life sounds perfectly regular to me my friend. I am blessed that nothing like that ever happened to me, my anxiety or social phobia is not related to anything bad in my past, I believe it is hereditary simple as that., and although often it is the case, not always as in mine.

    You have come along way to overcome what has been nothing but traumatic for you in your life, and I admire your courage.
    Furangels only lent.
    RIP my gorgeous Sooti, taken from us far too young, we miss your beautiful face and purssonality,take care of Ash for us, love you xx000❤️❤️

    RIP my beautiful Ash,your pawprints are forever in my heart, love and miss you so much my big boy. ❤️❤️

    RIP my sweet gorgeous girl Ellie-Mae, a little battler to the end, you will never ever be forgotten, your little soul is forever in my heart, my thoughts, my memories, my love for you will never die, Love you my darling little precious girl.❤️❤️

    RIP our sweet Nikita taken suddenly ,way too soon ,you were a special girl we loved you so much ,miss you ❤️❤️

    RIP my beautiful Lexie, 15 years of unconditional love you gave us, we loved you so much, and miss you more than words can say.❤️❤️

    RIP beautiful Evee Ray Skye ,my life will never be the same with out you ,I loved you so much, I will never forget you ,miss you my darling .❤️❤️

  3. #48
    I have found a doctor I can trust. I really like my doctor now, it's just hard for me to actually pick up the phone and call when I know I need to. All it does is bring back bad memories. In the US we have workmens comp, which will pay if you get hurt at work or what not. I am not sure how it works. My husband also has aflac which pays us for going to the doctor. Which next year we should get a good amout as many times as I have been to the dentist already this year. I work tomorrow and I will let what ever manager know that I can't lift anything heavy. Which I already know they wont be happy with me but oh well.

    Deb, I also have to tell you it was painful for me to read your story. My half sister touched me when I was a baby and after my mother found out she was no longer allowed in the house. Although I was an infant when it happened I can not relate to how you must have felt, let alone trying to cope with what had happened to you not only when you were a child but as an adult. I can feel your pain to some extent.

    Katie

  4. #49
    Thanks for the supportive feedback Katie and Carole - sometimes I wonder if I will get the "so what is YOUR problem whiney baby?" speech

    Katie - I can understand not trusting doctors! On my YES - I suspect that is why I chose to go to nursing school myself - to confront those fears as an adult!! - but yes it is worth reporting at your job so that Worker's Comp rather than your own AFLAC should cover you. Part of your tax money covers that little bennie so who cares if the boss or manager doesn't like it? It happened at work so it is work related. I fell out of my chair (DUH!) about two years ago and got a whiplash. (still hurts as I ruptured a disc and you don't wanna mess with that!!) I was too embarrassed to report what I did (it was really a really graceful move, trust me )so never reported it although I did go and get medical care. Do you have a friend that can go to the doctor with you? I ALWAYS drag someone with me! Hubby, friend, neighbor - never alone, no way. Plus, it is just good to have someone else along to remember questions, instructions, etc as well as bolstering confidence.

  5. #50
    I basically live in my room so I guess I know lol. I cut myself off from the real world and just hide away. I've been like this for a long while now though. It's really no fun, huh?



    My babies: Josie, Zeke, Kiba, Shadow (AKA Butter)

  6. #51
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    11,191
    Is it possible you suffer from agraphobia,? my girlfriend down the road has this, it is quite difficult to understand, are you afraid of open spaces?.

    Just the fact you like to be cut off from the world made me question this, it appears there are alot of us here who suffer from some form of anxiety, I guess that is why the internet is such a positive thing in our lives, it gives us that outside contact worldwide, without even opening the door.
    Furangels only lent.
    RIP my gorgeous Sooti, taken from us far too young, we miss your beautiful face and purssonality,take care of Ash for us, love you xx000❤️❤️

    RIP my beautiful Ash,your pawprints are forever in my heart, love and miss you so much my big boy. ❤️❤️

    RIP my sweet gorgeous girl Ellie-Mae, a little battler to the end, you will never ever be forgotten, your little soul is forever in my heart, my thoughts, my memories, my love for you will never die, Love you my darling little precious girl.❤️❤️

    RIP our sweet Nikita taken suddenly ,way too soon ,you were a special girl we loved you so much ,miss you ❤️❤️

    RIP my beautiful Lexie, 15 years of unconditional love you gave us, we loved you so much, and miss you more than words can say.❤️❤️

    RIP beautiful Evee Ray Skye ,my life will never be the same with out you ,I loved you so much, I will never forget you ,miss you my darling .❤️❤️

  7. #52
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Northeast, MA.
    Posts
    719

    And to add

    to what you said carole, is why we get along so well with animals! Creatures that were put on this earth without being asked to and need love- just like us! I THINK we relate to animals very well! (not in a "crazy" kind of way- just have an inclination towards the injured, abandoned, less abile. I work with mentally ill adults! If I had my drithers, I'd work with animals for a job but there is too much pain in losing pets and seeing neglected pets etc. I really admire vets and others in the field! I wonder what the burn out rate is like?
    pixie

  8. #53
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Tarpon Springs, Florida
    Posts
    55
    I was clinically depressed for about seven years. I would have bouts of happiness - not bouts of sadness. It all seemed to lift last July when I had a seizure, then another...and another. I was constantly sick. When I finally got all of my testing done, it was determined that Hypoglycemia was it's cause - and Hypoglycemia can cause severe depression.

    I think mine started when my Grandmother died, then improper eating habits led to hypo. which led back to depression. I used to feel like I had this black cloud over my head all the time. I could never think straight, I would stutter when I was faced with a boss, or a teacher or my father. I barely got sleep at night and was always tired. Always hungry, so I gained weight, which made me embarassed, and later homebound.

    My cat made all the difference in the world. He's my best friend. I would go to work and have a bad day, and Maui would be right there for me when I came home. He was my tissuebox, my radio (he always purred when I cried) and my confidante. I can tell Maui anything - and I know he'll never tell another soul. He detected my seizures (and he isn't even trained!), and can tell me when my blood sugar is low (but I can tell now - without him, but he still likes to tell me)
    The move from New Smyrna to Tarpon Springs has been the best thing I've ever done. I now only have bouts of anger, or bouts of sadness. It never lasts for long. I'm perpetually happy. Maui has moved on to bigger and better things - mainly my Father. Maui is still my best friend, and he still sleeps with me on my bed - but during the day he's with my Dad. My Father's changed. He's sad, and Maui knows it. It's Dad's time to have a confidante and a best friend.

    Animals were God's greatest gift to the Human World and without them I would probably still be a depressed, lonely girl with no one. It's for Maui's sake that I learned to eat properly because I am the one that takes care of him. What would happen to him if I wasn't here?
    I don't know if this ties in with your post, but I had to put my input, and part of me here. I hope you don't mind. You'll all have to pardon my absences too, I'm rarely online anymore. I'm too busy out with my new friends, my sister's puppy or hanging out back with Maui and Birdeo.

  9. #54
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Tennessee, USA
    Posts
    17,326

    Better late than never I suppose?

    I am just now finding / reading this thread! Boy, am I glad that I did though!!! I have Major Depressive Illness and Panic Disorder. I was diagnosed about 10 years ago, when I had a nervous breakdown and ended up in a psych hospital for two full weeks! I had been raised in a very strict home, with a violent-tempered father, a handicapped brother, a bi-polar (but still undiagnosed) sister, and an emotionally fragile mother ... but the final "blow" was all of the stress and emotional abuse that came after my divorce and child custody battle with my ex-husband.


    I have been on many different anti-depressants during the past 10 years, but the one that finally worked for me was / is Celexa! I have been doing very well on it now for about 4 or 5 years. I did have to increase the dosage after about the first 6 months or so, but I am holding pretty well at 40mg. per day. I do still have panic attacks from time to time, but they are so rare now, that I have to remind myself that they are panic attacks .... that I'm not sick or dying! Luckily, I usually have a few Xanax on hand for those. When I first got out of the hospital I was heavily on Xanax, and even had a terrible withdrawal, because I tried to get off of them too quickly by myself. But now I can have one RX and it last a year or more!!!


    Well, I have shared quite a bit now, so I will stop here. I just want to tell everyone that has shared that you are NOT alone, and WE are not Freaks!!! As far as the social aspects ... I have never been a social butterfly myself... always uncomfortable in crowds, and prefer a quiet one on one meal with a friend, as opposed to being with a group of people. I avoid the telephone as much as possible, and I do like to close my blinds and lock the doors from time to time as well. I love the freedom and contact that the internet gives me, but at the same time, I can "shutdown" when I need to!!!

  10. #55
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Land of the Ducks...quack!
    Posts
    7,007
    From reading this thread it seems like a lot of people have had good luck with Celexa...I was on celexa for a while...it made me dizzy and ditzy for a while but things evened out...unfortuneatly just as things WERE evening out and my body was begining to deal, the insurance stopped covering it. I'm not taking anything now, and sometimes things get really really really hard. Last night I was crying my head off for really no reason but the hubby was there for me and for that I am happy. He knows that I can't take many anti-depressants and that I have to deal with this somewhat on my own due to the whole bad drug interaction thing. *many antidepressants make me dizzy like Im on some sort of narcotic and it doesn't matter if Im happy as all get out if I cant function* I WISH my dumb insurance covered celexian because I would be back on it in a heartbeat...it worked so well.

  11. #56
    Please see companion thread which was going well in spite of the silly name I gave it!

    Karen - any way to combine the two???

  12. #57

    Re: Re: Withdrawn

    Originally posted by CatMama78

    I also have a serious problem with wanting to be social, or wanting to be around anyone other than my boys (by boys, I mean my cats ). This social phobia as the term is called now, prevents me from doing things like going to company christmas parties and family functions. It's not the not wanting to go that bothers me, cause I don't see anything wrong with being a 'loner', it's the fact that I know I'm obligated to go, sort of and I can't just shrug it off and say it's just a night - instead it's like a major trauma and panic the whole day. It just seems to get worse with time.

    I know I seeing a dcotor would be wise, but I can't seem to build up the courage.[/B]
    That's me. I was diagnosed with a social anxiety disorder about 5 1/2-6 years ago, at age 16. I've been on Paxil for 5 years and it has helped a lot. It did however come with a lot of side-effects. I am currently being switched to zoloft so that my husband and I can start a family soon. Even on the paxil I hardly go anywhere without Justin. Before the paxil I couldn't go anywhere, period. High school was pure torture, I spent most of my time in and out of school crying.

    If I were you I would see a doctor. Believe me when I say I know it's hard. I have justin make the appointment and then he goes with me.

  13. #58
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Richmond, BC
    Posts
    4,260
    I have been reading these threads but I've been too scared to post anything.. but I'm also suffering from depression. I was on Wellbutrin for a while, and it really did help, but I don't want to take pills. I feel totally numb when I'm taking them.. not sad but not happy either. I was on Zoloft very breifly but it made me very very sick.

    I get angry a lot. I am suicidal. It is so very hard to share these things with people.. but I think that telling people will help. I dont know. Some days it's just so hard to get out of bed. My kitties help, but at the same time I know they don't really understand. Really, I feel that no one understands.

    Right now I'm trying to work towards finding a counselor or psychologist that can help me.

  14. #59
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Westchester Cty, NY
    Posts
    8,738
    Wellbutrin is a very old medication. Some of the newer stuff may help you. The problem with mental trouble is it has such a "software" component (one's morale,etc;, things that are not really quantifiable.)

    For the folks out there who are having trouble and the current meds aren't working, ask your doctor about any studies that are going on. There are always new meds coming out which try to zero in on the brain chemistry without causing all the nasty side effects.

    Don't neglect the "software" component. Depression in particular shows a strong "placebo" effect. Find something that really distracts you (the Internet, gaming, reading, music, pet rescue, etc.)

    I hope and pray everyone can resolve their mental/psychic state and feel better and enjoy the summer.
    I've been finally defrosted by cassiesmom!
    "Not my circus, not my monkeys!"-Polish proverb

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