Hello All,
I am looking for advice/guidance/input from other forum members about my sweet and beautiful boy Tesoro who is now 4 years old. Tesoro is an Italian Word that means treasure or my darling. I adopted Tesoro, a chocolate lab/german shepherd mix as a 8 week old pup who was abandoned in a local public park and running free. He kept going up to people and playing with them and the people figured out someone must have abandoned him. So the people called the police and he ended up in the dog shelter from which I adopted him.
Tesoro is a joy to me. He is very vocal and talks alot. He loves to play frisbee and fetch. He is sweet and good natured. He was extremely active playing frisbee/fetch with me at least an hour a day until July of 2003. Starting in June 2003, Tesoro developed a cough that wouldn't go away. He quit playing frisbee and I took him to the vet 4 times that month over the cough which just kept getting worse and the antibiotics weren't working.
My vet sent me to a famous major veterminary school/animal hospital here in New York. They did a chest xray and found nodules in Tesoro's lungs. They told me they thought he had cancer and admitted him. Over the next few days of many tests, they determined that Tesoro has Lymphoma type B Stage 5. It was advanced and it went into Tesoro's lungs and Bone Marrow. Tesoro didn't exhibit any signs of illness until that cough showed up and the cough showed up before his lymph nodes even swelled. So his symptoms presented in an unusual order and even though he was under a vet's care, I didn't know he had cancer until it had really invaded many of his systems.
Anyway, I've had Tesoro under Chemotherapy treatments since July of 2003. What has happened so far is that the cancer stays in remission until the Chemo is stopped. As soon as the chemo is stopped, it seems to come back. It happened once around November and it may be happening again. His 'last' chemo treatment was in March and they said to bring him in for a physical next week.
Today, Tesoro was coughing again this morning and I think the cancer is coming back again. I have a vet appointment for him on Wednesday.
My question is: How do you know when your dog has had enough treatment?
Tesoro has not wanted to go up to the vet hospital -- when it is time to load him in the car, he runs back in the house and hides. He used to love car rides but if he senses we are going to a vet, he puts up a struggle and runs and hides in the house. So I've been trying to counter that association by taking him in the car for an icecream cone or to the bank or to a park where dog owners walk their dogs.
Tesoro doesn't want to take pills anymore. He used to happily take "meatballs" with pills in them. Now he runs and hides if I offer "Meatball" medication. And he tries to sort out the pill and spit it out and he looks miserable if I take a more proactive approach by hiding the pill in peanut butter and putting it way back in his throat and holding his muzzle so he can't spit out the meds. He gets very upset and trembles. It makes me feel terrible as an owner because I'm trying to give the meds to take care of him and he doesn't want me to give him meds.
Tesoro hates any side effects of the treatment. If he develops hot spots and has to wear a cone, he is miserable and stressed. Without the cone, he licks his paws until they'd be mutilated. He clearly hates wearing the cone!
I have really struggled to keep him alive by spending thousands of dollars on his treatments. I did it for him because I love him and wanted to help him live. I didn't question the amount because I felt I should do everthing I could for him.
But now, I am starting to question if in effect, am I torturing him with these chemo treatments. So how do you know when the dog has had enough? I feel very heartbroken and conflicted about this. I thought I was doing the right thing by getting this chemo for him to extend his life and am now starting to question if he wants to continue with this? I plan to discuss this with my vet on Wednesday because I trust her and feel she might have ideas.
I am worried that the cancer is coming back and that Tesoro might not want more chemo treatment. I was just going to have them start up the chemo again but am feeling conflicted and guilty like maybe I shouldn't be doing that if Tesoro doesn't want it. How do you know/read the dog and do what is best for the dog's soul and wishes? And I know that if the cancer comes out of remission, without chemo, he'd die within a couple of months. How do you know if your dog understands the consequences of not wanting treatment?
When he was doing good on chemo, he'd be living a quality life 70% of the time being outside playing frisbee and running around like a maniac. And then he'd be indoors and seemed happy most of the time with me; he is an indoor dog except for outside playtime and walks. It seems like this month he just wants to be outside all the time in my fenced in yard and is refusing to come in. So I let him do what makes him happy and have water out for him and play frisbee with him until he gets tired. So he looks healthy and vibrant but thin even though I give him as much food as he wants. But lately I see the liveliness kind of go out of him when he is in the house and he is more mopey.
Tesoro hates any side effects of the chemo. He doesn't like going to the vet hospital anymore and he isn't happy whenever he has to take meds. He trembles full body if he ever throws up or can't hold his bathroom until outside. I never scold him for accidents, but he gets really upset because he knows he shouldn't do that inside. I know he can't help it and I don't get upset but he himself gets this ashamed and crestfallen look on his face even though I tell him its ok and show him that I love him.
I am really struggling with this heartbreaking experience and want to do what is best for my dog. Do any of the experienced dog owners have advice, words or encouragement or wisdom? How do you know when to stop invasive treatment or if you should proceed?
Many thanks.
Anna Lisa
Attached is a photo of Tesoro:
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks