Lily freaking out - what can I do?

[Kirsten]

Lily is a sweet and good girl most of the time, but a couple of times a day, she'll have her "moments". That means she's running around, jumping onto furnitures and doors, crying and complaining loudly and pitiful. It sounds heartbreaking, and she really doesn't seem to be happy in these moments.

She also tears down the curtain of the entrance door at least 5, 6 times a day, and she's acting very wild. Especially since her escaping adventure yesterday it has gotten extremely bad.


(my door with the curtain (on the left) that Lily is tearing down all the time)

However, the bottom line is that I feel Lily is quite unhappy as an indoor cat sometimes, but I would be too scared to let her go outside, also living on the second floor would make it really hard anyway. It's no option for me because the area where I'm living is too dangerous.

But I have to admit the thought of rehoming her came into my head. Please don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't love her or that it's too much work for me to put that curtain back in place 10 times a day... I just feel so sorry for her. Then again, she and Luna are so happy together, they are really very very close and are very good friends. It would be cruel to seperate them IMO. Giving her back to her first family where she could be an outdoor cat like her brother would be the last thing I want, but maybe it's the best for her?

Lily has been outdoors for a couple of weeks as a kitten, when she was still in her first home. I think between 7 and 11 weeks she was allowed to enter the garden, AGAINST my wish. But I was told from many people that it wouldn't do any damage to a cat becoming an indoor cat at such a young age. Could Lily be an exception from the rule? Or is it still kitten energy that hits her so hard in these moments and she will calm down when she's older? She's 8 months now and is spayed. I have a big apartment btw, there's plenty of room for the cats to play and to run.

Does anyone have experiences with this?

Thanks,
Kirsten

[Barbara]

Calm down Kirsten - and stop thinking of re-homing Lily.

Being an active kitty and about one year old it's normal for her to have her moments. Enjoy them because when she gets older she will be more quiet (although Lily or an Aby will always be more active than a Persian ).

I am sure she does two things: first running around, jumping being active -which is fun for her;
second: condition her meowmie.

Respond to the first one by playing with her as much as you can when she's in the mood, and respond to the second in ignoring unwanted behavior. These little devils know exactly how to get you somewhere: Tigris moves a picture at the wall which is one meter high and has very heavy frame. It's one of the few things that get us up in the middle of the night because for various reasons I wouldn't want it to fall down and that's why he does it.

So you see I am a bad teacher in ignoring unwanted behavior. But all this talking to you means she wants to tell you something like: "More entertainment please!" "I bet I can get you to do what I want." etc.

[catnapper]

OH I am so sorry that you feel this bad! I honestly think its Lily being a kitten. Pouncer does the same exact thing every night... sometimes I think a demon has possessed him! He would dearly love to go outside and tries to slip past me whenever the doors are open. We've gotten really good at stopping him...though right now its so cold that he has no interest in going outside whatsoever.

Do you happen to have a balcony that you can Lily-proof so that she can get some freedom and feel like she's outside when she's really just in an extention of the apartment? We have a balcony on the second floor and its Allen's most favorite place in the world. He too was an outdoor cat the first few weeks, and yes, it was just AWFUL getting him used to the idea that he was an indoor cat. After 2 years, he finally mellowed a bit and now that he's an old man of three, he's completely mellowed.

This may sound weird, but perhaps you could get a leash or harness for her and take her for walks. We actually had to do this with Allen. People would laugh their heads off when they saw a big fat orangie walking down the street on a leash! He loved it, the adventure, and the fresh air. He doesn't do that any more and if we would try to put the leash on him, he acts like we're taking him to his death! Because of his leash-ability, he's never ever sat in a carrier!

I also agree with what Barbara said. Lily is just fine and knows she has a happy home!

[catcrazylady]

Kirsten I feel for you. I understand that guilt because I have gone through this too. Our feral kittens (1 year old now) were born and raised outside. When I brought them in I said that I would never let them out again and I haven't. My husband and I have had several disagreements over this. He thinks I'm being mean and unfair to them. He says that it is in their nature to outside for play and fresh air. I refused to do it but I did feel guilty.
NOT ANYMORE!! After my experience in the shelter and seeing what those cats go through in such tiny confined cages my guilt when straight away!!
By going outside they run the risk of being hit by cars, hurt by loose dogs, poisoned, or possibly getting some illness from a stray. Not to mention what could happen if some mean people got them!!
I have decided that if the worst thing that happens to them in their life is being confined to the entire house, warm in the winter, cool in the summer, fresh water and food at all times, and any medical care they need, groomed, cleaned up after, and loved to pieces then they are just going to have to deal with it!!!!

[NoahsMommy]

Here's the thing. Those curtains are a game to Lily. No matter when or how she pulls them down, you're always around to put them back up again. Its fun for her.

Another thing is the attraction cats have to curtains. I'd LOVE to have cute, linen, gauzy Pottery Barn curtains at each window, but I have cats. I don't want them to ruin them with normal kitty play.

The main thing is...you are Lily's meowmie and you have rules. She's indoor only...she knows that. I think cats are like kids in that they push their limits at all times when they can. I know mine do.

[Kirsten]

Thanks everyone for your encouraging comments, it's good to hear I'm not alone!

Barbara, I know what you mean with ignoring misbehavior! I got a new poster for my walls the other day and when Lily saw it, she immediately climbed onto the tv to touch the poster. I watched her, but didn't say a word to not give her the idea that this is something she can draw my attention with. Worked well so far. But when she starts playing with framed pictures (like Tigris does), I just have to tell her it's a no-no. BTW, I really wonder if Lily has some Aby-genes...


catnapper, it's so amazing how much Lily and Pouncer have in common!
Unfortunately, I don't have a balcony, but I actually have thought about a leash. I still have one from Luna somewhere, but she never tolerated it. Maybe I should try that with Lily.


catcrazylady, I absolutely agree with your concerns of letting cats go outdoors!! You won't believe how many arguments and discussions I have with people who find it cruel and unnatural to keep a cat indoors. So many people are still ignoring the dangers of cars, poison, mean people, diseases etc... I would never allow my cats going outside, unless I would live deep in the woods like my parents do (the have a restaurant in the forest and no cars are allowed there (except their own), and their cat lives a happy life outside, relatively safe).

NoahsMommy, you're probably right about cats and kids. Lily is a cat that doesn't seem to accept rules easily, Luna is so much different! Lily always wants to be entertained.

BTW, forgot to add: I spoke to the vet today and she gave me some homeopathic stuff for Lily called avena. It's no psycho drug and no sedative, just something to help her to keep her inner balance. I think I'll try that.

Kirsten

[jenluckenbach]

Kitten energy (and some have it longer than others)

Every night a few hours before it is time to wake up, Jasper climbs up on the computer and he KNOWS this will get a response from Charlie. He doesn't do it any other time of day. and Jasper is 5 years old, but he wants attention as the alarm time is too far away.

I personally don't think keeping a cat indoors is cruel and even if she WERE allowed outside that would not guarrentee good behavior inside.

A temporary solution may be to remove the curtains and simply attach something flat (even if it is paper) to the windows to remove the "fun factor". once she forgets about this behavior you could go back to the curtains. this is what we do when we have cats.

hang in there. Lilly is staying for the duration.

[jazzcat]

I went through this with Ripley from about 4 months to 230 months of age (that was when he got shot and he was unable to act wildly). Not only did he run around knocking over everything, pulling curtain and mini blinds down but he had this wild, rage side where he would stalk and attack me very violently. I can't tell you how many times I almost rehomed him. The rage part is something completely different (and luckily not your problem) but all the rest was just extremely active kitten to adult behavior.

Just know that it's normal and it will go away with age. In fact, you will miss it one day.

[Julie Grove]

Kirsten, I agree with what the others have said. My cats have always had access to my garden although I have NEVER allowed them s to go out the front of the house even though I live on a very quiet street - and they somehow know that they are not allowed. They are smart and even though they are a law unto themselves, they can be 'trained' and they do understand (although they would like us to believe otherwise!), so I guess that Luna and Lily understand by now that they live inside. I think that cats are intelligent and they need stimulation particularly when indoors. Lulu has not been outside for about 2 months now as it is cold but she has made that choice herself. She is demanding of my attention partly because she is bored because when she goes out in the warmer weather, she is very busy amusing herself in the garden and doesn't demand so much from me. Perhaps you could hang a curtain somewhere in your apartment that you wouldn't mind her climbing? Cats do climb trees and when they do this outside they use a lot of energy. I guess Lily is expelling energy when she behaves in this way. There is a toy called Panic Mouse which is pretty good - I have one for Lulu. Anyway, good luck and I think the natural remedies are a good idea.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Kirsten, I agree with everyone here that Lily is just being Lily. I'm thinking that maybe Luna hasn't been the most active cat and since that's what you're used to, you're unfamiliar with the craziness of a kitten that lasts even as they start growing up.

My idea was that maybe she needs another kitty buddy to play with......

(we are so evil here on PT, always trying to talk each other into getting another cat )

[Kirsten]

Thanks everyone for your good advice! And you have my word - Lily won't be rehomed, she will stay! (wouldn't want to give her up anyway!)

I really think I need to offer Lily more entertainment! I would love to get a strong branch of a tree with some crotches as a basis for a real cool natural cat tree I've planned to build, but it's not easy to find such a thing. But I'm sure Lily would love that!

Jen, what Jasper does reminds me a lot of my RB Katz! She knew very well how to get my attention during the night. In fact, during the last year of her life, I barely slept because she didn't let me.

jazzcat, I'm sorry your Ripley calmed down under these sad circumstances, poor baby!

Julie, what is that Panic Mouse? Sounds interesting!

T&P's mom: You're right, Luna isn't the most active cat in the world... She and Lily are playing and wrestling together, but most of the time, she just wants her peace. But I don't think I want a third cat. My landlords accepted hardly two cats, and - still being unumployed - I just don't have enough money at the moment for more than two kitties. It's hard enough already with Luna's diets and vet bills. Maybe if I win the lottery...

Kirsten

[Fox-Gal]

Cali who has never been outside does all those things also. I got so tired of putting the curtains back up every day. She also would runs to the door every time we open it trying to get out.....it's been fun trying to keep her in. Even the screen in room doesn't help.

The one thing that stoped her from attacking my curtains was I got some $1 cat toys that hang in the door way, with the mouse on the end. Maybe you've seen them. She now attacks them over my curtains. The more toys I get her the better she is about other things also.

As for the harness, I've done that and it worked great. I had a half bobcat half manx who was leashed trained, when I lived in an apartment. We went for walks on the beach, around the neighborhood, etc. He even took long car rides with me to parks etc. My X-husband also made him a run rope, so he could enjoy the outdide with a good amount of area to move around. Tigger was happier and so where we.

Of course people where afraid of walking near the sidewalk, once they saw a cat that big, tied up. They assumed he was mean or else we where nuts.

It will all work out, I'm sure. Give it time and try all kinds of different things, till you find what works for you.

[Uniqueviking]

Being a brat meowmie too, you have all my support, Kirsten!


Wanna join my brat meowmie support group, lol?!

[Edwina's Secretary]

I have always taken Edwina outside -- on a harness -- even though our yard has a six foot high fence....(okay...sometimes I let her off the harness....like right now when there is so much snow she only stays out 60 seconds!) I took Eddie out on a harness too -- against my husband's wishes. For days after Eddie would go NUTS at the door. He has trashed the door seal trying to dig his way out there. Then he calms down and forgets about it.

I do have a screened porch where they can go and feel the breeze of outdoors. And fortunately, my husband hasn't yet seen the damage Eddie has done to that door seal trying to get back in!

Could you put mini-blinds in place of the curtains? I realize they have been known to "attack" but they are harder to pull down!


Edwina on her harness -- in far different weather!

[Kirsten]

LOL; UV, I think I should better join that support group!

Fox-Gal and ES, I'm going to look for Luna's old leash and try it on Lily. That way I will find out if she would accept it.

Fox-Gal, that must have been hilarious when people where afraid of your big cat!

ES, was it easy to leash-train the E's? What Eddie has done to the door sounds very much like my girls!

Kirsten