Remember that guy I was having problems with at work??

[Tonya]

Remember the guy who was crazy, ADD, sexual towards me? Well he had an extreme blow up today. I just don't know what to do anymore aside from get a lawyer. It was so ugly. I've never gotten into a fighting match like I did today. He actually shoved me to the ground. I could have had his job right there, but I lost my temper, got up, and hit him back. I don't know what is going to happen. I might lose my job. I wasn't going to mention it to you all, but I'm so sick over it.

It all started because he's been getting copies of my jobs, following me, and making sure that I am in route....So today, I politely told him that it was none of his business and not to worry about me. I got up and went into the bathroom. He mistaked the sound of the bathroom door closing as the office door...he thought I was gone. He totally started going off about me. I can't even repeat the things that he said about me in PT. I was called things that I've never been called before. I listened for a good 10 minutes....trying to calm myself down and walk away. I couldn't do it. I confronted him.

I know this message is scattered. I don't know why I'm even posting it. Don't know that I'm asking for sympathy or advice...I'm just really really really stressed right now. This guy is killing me. I love my job...but I don't want to be known as the "ball buster". I try so hard to get along with the guys.

[dukedogsmom]

I would have been fuming and I can't say what I would have done but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have hit him back. I would have called the police. I guess you're lucky he didn't because you both could have ended up in jail. At least, you could here. It sounds to me like he's stalking you. And with people like that, little pieces of paper(restraining order or such) I'm afraid don't do much good. Is there any way you can get transferred away from him? And I think you've been documenting all this, right? Now is the time to show it to your supervisors. I wouldn't have let it go this far.

[green_chameleon_girl]

He hit you first and you just used self defense. He is a man you are a woman.. If anyone HE should loose his job. Any man who hits a woman makes me sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tonya]

I'll find out what happens to me on Monday. We have 4 guys at our office on "final warning" because of confrontations with this jerk. I'll be the 5th person....go figure.

You are totally right, Dukesdog. I've never had a man lay his hands on me though, it put me into shock. I lost it. If I could have maintained myself, I would totally have his job and his life. But I went into defense mode instead, unfortunatly. I was in such disbelief, that I came up swinging.

[Tonya]

I must say, though....lol....See that smile in the Dog General pics? That's hours after the fight....GAWD, I've wanted to tell that guy what I really truly think of him for years! Felt kind of good! But once the adrenaline went away hours later, I was like "Oh crap! What'd I do!"

[Karen]

Were there witnesses? At least to his "rant" it seems like there were. Let this be the final straw. Is there a fenmale supervisor or higher-up? If so, ask to meet with her and your boss at the same time, just to have a balance.

Him striking you is workplace violence. It will only escalate from there. We do not want to see your office on CNN like other workplace violence has been.

You will not be seen as a "ball-buster" because you are one of 5! This is serious, the man needs help. Mental illness is still illness, he's about as "disabled" as someone injured and in a wheelchair would be considered. I do not think he will ever thank you, but surely this should be the last straw for the company, and he'll be put off on disability/counseling.

[wolfsoul]

I think you should talk to your boss. This guy caused physical harm to you first, which is practically an invitation to sue him. Plus, I'm assuming that he probably pushed your chest area. There's another thing; sexual harrassment. Either way, you could sue him blind. Your boss might also feel threatened, because since this guy is an employee, the company is also liable to be sued. Talk to your boss and tell him that you want this guy penalized.

[tikeyas_mom]

you should talk to your boss asap, you shouldent be treated this way , that guy should loose his job.

[Tonya]

There were witnesses...two of them...If I would have walked away when he pushed me down, I would have been ok...But I snapped after that. Hopefully they'll look at it as self-defense...but I was totally in the wrong at that point.

[Tonya]

BTW, no female bosses. In fact, I'm the only female within hundreds of men in the region.

[Karen]

You weren't totally wrong, don't think of it that way (even if you feel it deep inside!) By hitting back you may have prevented yourself from further violence. And you already feel bad enough - shelve that and go forward in righteous (but controlled) anger.

Just saw the "no female bosses" part, well, at least make sure there is someone else in there with you so you feel you have some support. (Besides me standing behind you in spirit, and my Mom shouting down support from heaven, etc.)

[Tonya]

Thanks, Karen. I've already had several phone calls tonight from guys supporting me. Dave seems to be the only person in the world who thinks he's right.

[G.P.girl]

Originally posted by wolfsoul
I think you should talk to your boss. This guy caused physical harm to you first, which is practically an invitation to sue him. Plus, I'm assuming that he probably pushed your chest area. There's another thing; sexual harrassment. Either way, you could sue him blind. Your boss might also feel threatened, because since this guy is an employee, the company is also liable to be sued. Talk to your boss and tell him that you want this guy penalized.

good point.
i would have hit him back so hard i can't believ he actually pushed you though i mean i'm all for men and woman equal rights adn stuff but any man who hits a woman... i'd knock him out i would sue the heck out of him too.he would be paying for every little thing that he ever said to me. people like that just make me so mad!

[trayi52]

Okay, first that is awful that a man would actually fight with a woman. My grandmother always said a man that would hit a woman would not hit another man, in other words she meant he was chicken manure.

Now the next thing, did it feel slugging that craphead?? Did you give him a nice black eye? Was he shocked that little you had the jewls to come up fighting?

I don't see how you could lose your job for something that he started it.

Willie

[Tonya]

Lol, Willie....You saw my smile in those pics in dog general. It felt really good to give him a piece of my mind too. You know how when you get really upset with someone and you kind of dream of all the things you'd love to say to them? But you don't have the nerve to in real life? -Well I said all those things! lol.

Like the guys at work said "What a real @#$& to have the gall to shove a woman and then turn around and call the boss." Apparently he made himself sound like the victim...I'm not worried about the bosses knowing who started it. There are plenty of witness and plenty of other confrontations that he's been in. I haven't been in a single confrontation in the 6 years I've been there. I am just concerned that they are going to discipline me on how I reacted.

It's 4 am now...I've been laying in bed all night thinking about this. I finally gave up and got out of bed since I have to work today.

I swear, if they discipline me for finally standing up for myself...I'm getting a lawyer. I'm taking them down for each and every little thing that has happened to me in the past six years. I've had it.