Wise Words To Live By...

[ChloeLove]

I was reading a book (Chicken Soup series...) and I found this in here and I thought that it was cute and just wanted to share. The person who wrote this has been adding things to her list for a very long time, and decided to send it in. She also got help from a lot of her friends with this list.

What I Wish I'd Known Sooner by Meredith Rowe

-Don't drink grape juice while wearing a white shirt and driving to school!

-Dropping a cellular phone into a bathtub kinda kills it...

-Your mother WILL find out if you dye your hair purple!

-You haven't lived until you've gotten a 48 on an Advanced Placement U.S. history calss

-Don't fall in love with someone who is more than one thousand miles away from you. It usually doesn't work out.

-Milk crates make boring pets.

-If it hurts...DON'T DO IT AGAIN!!!!

-Don't sprint around a pool if you're trying to impersonate Jim from Huck Finn.

-Zits always pop up when you seriously can't afford for them to pop up.

-Always stay after class. That's when connections are made.

-When in doubt, duck. When certain, don't bother 'cuz you're already screwed.

-While driving your car through a gate, always ALWAYS make sure the gate is open!

-Never pierce your bellybutton in the dark.

-Just because someone flirts with you incessantly does not mean he or she likes you.

-If your calculus teacher tells you to quit talking after a test or he'll give you a zero for your test grade, he means it. Really.

-If you like a girl her roomate will immediately start liking you.

-Don't take the SAT twice if you already have a good score in the first place.

-Learn to play the electrical guitar. Young women really dig it.

-Don't juggle knives unless you're really, really good at it.

-If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then give up. No sense in being ridiculous about it.

-Sticking things up your nose isn't the smartest idea in the world.

-You can't light fireworks in the basement and not get caught!

-Hair is flammable. VERY flammable.

-Dyeing hair strawberry blonde when it already IS strawberry blonde turns it strawberry pink.

-White dogs and black pants don't mix.



That's it. If you wanna add something to the list...Do so!!

[slick]

Ok here's my addition (and things that I've learned):

- don't fry bacon naked
- don't wear bike shorts if you're in the doghouse
- if you see your Ex, run as fast as you can. Nothing good can come out of it.

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by slick
Ok here's my addition (and things that I've learned):

- if you see your Ex, run as fast as you can. Nothing good came come out it.

If you see FEDEX hang around.....it may be for you!

[slick]

Nothing good came come out it.


Ouch....where did I learn to write......

[lovemyshiba]

lolololol!!!!!

Slick, your additions cracked me up

[Cataholic]

Slick,
Your mistake was nearly hysterical...he he he...

[slick]

Another lesson I've learned recently:

- when riding your bike for the first time in 6 years, make it a short ride.

Ouch, can you say "chafe"????

and

- before starting any strenuous exercise, go to the bathroom.

[Airedalekisses]

never wear patterned undies under white pants.

Doors: what dogs are always on the wrong side of.

[Twisterdog]

Never pass up an opportunity to pee on a road trip ... even if you think you don't have to go. Thirty miles down the road, you will.

Don't put eggs in a pan to boil and forget about them. They explode when all the water boils away, and it's really hard to clean hard boiled eggs off the ceiling. (True story.)

Don't put beans in a pan to cook and forget about them. They will boil dry, and catch on fire. (Another true story. See why we eat a lot of delivery pizza?!)

[cloverfdx]

lmao too funny.

-Dropping a cellular phone into a bathtub kinda kills it...

lol, yes i found out the hard way. but mine eventually dried out and is now working again ~cheers~

-Don't fall in love with someone who is more than one thousand miles away from you. It usually doesn't work out.

mine: Dont fall in love at all ~nods n sighs~

pay attention when large/giant sized dogs are playing, jarred knee's are NOT funny (not so funny story) lol

[Airedalekisses]

Dog slobber does not make a good hair gel.

Never feed an Airedale corned beef! (Wind for days!!)

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Originally posted by Airedalekisses
Never feed an Airedale corned beef! (Wind for days!!)

AHHHH LOL

[apcrs5122]

LOL too funny!!!!!!!!! I'll have to try to think of some

[iceyshiver21]

-Never attempt to walk down a non grass covered hill after it rains...LAND SLIDE!!!

-Never leave oatmeal in your room for long periods of time.

-Burnt hair stinks...watch where you lean.

-Never stept foot in the Dog House unless you are pepared to clean your shorts afterwards.

-Bomb Shelters are deep.

-The kiddy pool is never as deep as it may look.

-An Aloe Plant looks cool...but is raunchy when it dies.

[slick]

- When washing dogs, take plenty of dry clothing.
- When washing dogs "back there", be gentle.
- Burnt toast creates backwash.