Funny Stories Anyone?

[ChrisH]

I WAS recuperating from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to participate in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated."
Undaunted, the caller continued trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer.
I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?"
She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?"
--Contributed to "Short Takes" by Bernadine Castle

[ChrisH]

I DREAD going to the dentist. Once, to ease my tension, I listed my middle name as "Wimp." The receptionist read it, laughed and assured me that many patients felt the same way.
Half an hour later, the receptionist came into the waiting room. Looking directly at me, she said, smiling, "The doctor will now see the wimp."
Three other people got up with me.
--Contributed to "Life In These United States" by Patricia Mitchell

[Andie]

Originally posted by jonza
… and this is supposed to be a true story:

GOOD LUCK Mr. GORSKY

On july 20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon.

His first words, after stepping on the moon, were televised to earth and heard by millions:

"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind,"

But just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "good luck, mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA though it was a casual remark concerning some rival soviet cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "good luck, mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

On july 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong.

This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died, so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

In 1938 when he was a kid in a small midwest town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit the ball, which landed in his neighbor's yard by the bedroom windows. His neighbors were mr. and mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard mrs. Gorsky shouting at mr. Gorsky "sex! You want sex?! You'll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

LOL I always love that story but it's just an urban legend.

[Andie]

Ok I have one that my little brother did.

If you look at Mike today you can see a faint circle scar on his forehead. (sadly I can find a pic where you can see it)

Back to the story:

When Mike was a little, maybe 2 or 3, he was playing in his room being quiet. All of a sudden he started screaming! Mom rushed in there and got him quiet and calm again and found out he had burnt his forehead. How, I hear you ask. He wanted to see what was inside the lightbulb while it was on and pressed his head against it.

[Sevens]

Hehehe Andie, I have one similar to yours. When my mother and uncle were kids, they were playing in one of the bedrooms of their house. All of a sudden, my grandparents hear a blood curdling scream. They ran in and here is my mom with a lamp (no shade on) and my uncle holding his stomach and crying. My mom just looked at them and said, "I just wanted to see what would happen."

Till the day my uncle died (October 10, 2002) whenever he got a dark tan on his stomach, you could still see the impression of the light bulb. 60 watts, I believe....

RIP Uncle Gene.

[ChrisH]

AT OUR DAUGHTER'S high school graduation, I couldn't help noticing a young man sporting a long bleached-blond ponytail sprouting from the top of his otherwise-shaved head. A heavy link chain hung around his neck, and one ear displayed several earrings. I had to smile when I heard him say to his friend, "Man, I feel so out of place. I'm the only guy here not wearing a tie."
--Contributed to "Short Takes" by Deborah Snyder

[ChrisH]

I CAME ACROSS a letter that had been written to me 12 years earlier while I was in college. I still fondly remembered the sender -- a Shakespeare-quoting, truth-seeking young man -- and wrote to his parents, asking where I could contact him. My letter was returned promptly, with this note scrawled across the bottom: "Our son went on to law school and is a successful attorney. He is active politically, unmarried and, believe it or not, lives at home. PLEASE COME GET HIM!"

--Contributed to "Life In These United States" by Sandy Clark

[Tonya]

hehe, These stories are great. I just thought of another one that Jaden did. When he was three, we were both supposed to be taking naps. I was in my room, and he in his. I kept hearing sniffling and kleenex being pulled out of the box. I got up to go see what was going on. His eyes were totally tearing up. I kept asking him why his eyes were watering and why he was sniffling. He wouldn't tell me at first, and then he busrt out "I gottta rooocket ship up my noooose!" I looked up his nose, and I didn't see anything, so I was a bit confused. Especially because I couldn't imagine what rocketship toy he was talking about that would fit there. (Or why in the world he would do such a thing!) Well, we took him to the ER and sure enough, something was lodged up there. Mike and Jaden had been building a model rocket and Jaden had shoved a part up his nose. It was so far up his nasal passage that they had to surgically remove it.

[anna_66]

I have a short funny story.

This morning I was doing a little scrapbooking and my computer was on. My wall paper is a picture of my brother's dog. Well, Roxey came over to me & happened to look over at the computer. She must have thought he really was him She would just stare & if I made any noises she would jump! It was about the funniest thing to watch. Here's the picture (guess it was about as big as him)