Dearest Leana, what an adorable Longhaired Peruvian Guinea Pig you are! Your coat coloring is beautiful, and you have the sweetest face with those lovely big dark eyes. You do indeed resemble a furry potato that has been splashed with paint! And what a love story you have to tell. You've been with your dear person since you were four weeks old, for five years now! You have quite the delightful personality. You're full of energy, making your person smile with your antics. You're very friendly, and you love kisses and snuggling. You also love getting attention and being brushed. You and he/she love each other very much, don't you. What a wonderful love-filled home you share!
Congratulations, darling Leana, on being chosen Pet of the Day! We hope you and your dear person and all your family and friends are enjoying a fine celebration, full of fun and lovies and all your favorite games and treats and plenty more kisses and snuggling and brushing!
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery
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