Adorable Asterix!
Dearest Asterix, what an adorable Guinea Pig you are! That colorful, fluffy coat is so pretty and looks so soft, and you have the sweetest face with those lovely dark eyes. You have the most delightful personality, and you make your dear person smile with your antics and energy. You're shy at first but very friendly once you know someone. You eat all your food like a good boy, and you love carrots, cucumbers and grass. You and your person love each other very much, don't you. What a wonderful love-filled home you share!
Congratulations, darling Asterix, on being chosen today's Pet of the Day! We hope you and your dear person and all your family and friends are enjoying a fine celebration, full of fun and lovies and all your favorite games and treats, maybe a special serving of carrots, cucumbers and grass!
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery
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