Dearest Jacques, what a handsome Tuxedo Domestic Shorthair you are! You are absolutely beautiful, sitting up and looking so stately in a couple of those great photos, and relaxing at home in the others, in your dear Purrrson's arms in the one and by your kitty pillows in the other! You have the softest-looking furry tuxedo and the sweetest face with those long, LOOOONG white whiskers and lovely big green eyes. I wish I could reach through the screen and over to Queens, NY to pet you! I can't, of course, but i know your loving and beloved Purrrsons will pet you for me .
And what a story you have to tell! You were rescued on Coney Island, jumping into your rescuer's arms, after your original alleged-people abandoned you complete with a disconnected-phone-number tag. Then you came to a NYC shelter, where you were adopted by your biography-writer's girlfriend three years ago.
Now you are living the good life you deserve (and you deserved all along)! You are very friendly, and you enjoy napping on top of your cat tree and splashing the water in your bowl as if it's the Splash Mountain ride. You love chowing down on wet food, watching alley cats outside the window fighting, and head-butting your dear Purrrsons while they're sleeping or you're making biscuits. You have three very important jobs: as a Coney Island roller coaster inspector, an MTA subway train driver, and a baker. And you're always ready to party, always dressed for the occasion! You and your dear Purrrsons all love each other very much, don't you. What a wonderful love-filled home you share!
Congratulations, darling Jacques, on being chosen today's Cat of the Day! We hope you and your dear Purrrsons and all your family and friends are enjoying a fine celebration, full of fun and lovies and all your favorite games and treats.
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery
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