Too Soon?

[shais_mom]

1) Can anyone help me with my signature? I want to put Aly's page in my signature and I can't remember how to do it!!
2) I was talking to a friend of mine at work today, she had just heard about Shaianne. She said to me, "One of my goldens is going to be a daddy and we get a puppy. I want it to go to a good home b/c we aren't going to keep it. If you would like it your more than welcome to have it b/c I know you will give it a good home." It would be born around the beginning of Oct so it would be ready around mid Nov. I was so touched by her gesture I almost cried. I miss Shaianne so much but am afraid to get another too soon as I don't want to replace her. My question is would it be too soon. I saw Sue's post that she got Killi 2 mos after Avalanche's crossing. I know that I want a puppy next time, I think Kylie would adjust better to it and vice versa! I really don't care about the breed I have never been breed specific. I was thinking about a mixed breed. I am torn b/c I never wanted to get a dog from a breeder, due to the fact that there are so many animals that need homes out there. But this little tyke needs a home too. My friend has a shitzu and 2 male goldens so they don't want to keep the pup.
I would love to have it, it is going to be registered with papers and everything and she is just going to give it to someone since they don't want to keep it. Tho the papers don't mean anything to me. I just want another dog to love. Nothing will replace my baby girl, but there are others out there that need homes too. I think Shai will let me know when its time. She and I bonded so much from the very beginning, I think she will let me have another connection almost like I had with her.
Any opinions?? Thanks!!
hugs and kitty kisses

[carrie]

Only you can tell if it is too soon for you to get another dog. It sounds to me like you are missing Shai terribly. Another dog, even an identical looking one, will not be Shai so can not take her place in your home or your heart so don't worry. You will never forget her. If you feel you want the pup then go for it! It is not replacing Shai as it will be a totally different individual.

[Gio]

I fully agree with everything Carrie said.

I personally think that there is not a too soon, deep in your heart you will know when you are ready. When my Titti died just over 4 years ago I was devastated, she was 18 and we had a very strong bond. I said that after her I never wanted another black female cat (I say female because also Gigio was black). 2 months after though, someone found Maya, she was only a couple of months, lived in a semi-feral colony and some of her siblings were killed by a dog. She was desperately needing a loving home so I took her in. It helped with the grieving and it helped Gigio too, even though he was never very close to Titti, they lived together for almost 14 years and after she went he started suffering from separation anxiety. Maya helped him through that. A year and a half later Prema entered my life, she was supposed to be my sister's 3rd cat but on look and we were both in love. And there was me saying that I never wanted another black female cat . They look similar and there are other similarities too but at the same time they are completely different.

I believe that when we lose a pet and we take another one in we don't replace it because that's never going to be possible, they all have their different personalities. After over 4 years I sometimes get tearful when I think of Titti and I will never forget her and I don't love her any less than then, but now I could not imagine my life without the others. There so many out there that need a loving home.

[Logan]

Staci,

You know how I feel about Goldens, so it goes without saying that I think that particular breed would be wonderful for you. And a puppy would certainly be a distraction for you!

And just a word about my own experience. Unlike Shai's sudden death, Helen and I watched our Kaycee's health fail for almost a year. I knew each day we had her was precious and I worried not only about how Helen would handle her death, but myself as well. So after talking with my vet, I decided to add a little Golden puppy to our family. That was Honey. And I have to tell you that baby Honey was a blessing for us after Kaycee died. And the day after Kaycee's death, my friend's Golden gave birth to a huge litter of puppies. You know the "rest of the story". We knew we had room in our hearts to remember Kaycee, love our Honey, AND add Lilly to our family.

Everyone grieves differently, and I have to bite my tongue sometimes when responding to folks who have lost their beloved pet. Because I want to "shout" loudly to tell them not to wait, but add another to love. It really helped us to deal with our loss. Not that we weren't sad over Kaycee. In fact, we still are, and its been over two years now. But what we got in return from Honey, then Lilly, made it all worthwhile.

You will not ever replace Shai, but neither should you feel guilt about moving forward. She would want you to be happy! And we all want the same for you. I'm not trying to get sappy on you, but maybe this puppy was just meant to be.

You will know what to do. Good luck with your decision.

[Logan]

I forgot your first question! I think you click on "my profile", and then "edit" and then you can go into your signature and just add it at the end of what you already have there. I didn't test my instructions...but I am sure you'll figure it out!

[karen israel]

Hi Stace! As a 1st time dog owner, I have no idea how I ever functioned without one! I always think about what I would do when Cody passes. I know, unconditionally, that I would get another! I would DEFINITELYadopt that puppy! Rememeber that no other dog will EVERreplace Shai! Just like a beloved human can't be replace. Nobody in the world is alike, thank Goodnesss!! I think puppy training (Oh, those days!) will keep you so busy it'll help heal your heart.
My friend lost his fabulous Boxer in April and SWORE he'd have to wait emotionally for another dog. Guess what? I got a call less than a month later, and he's now a proud papa again with another little girl! He placed his sweet Niecey's urn on the fireplace and knows that she approves and watyches over all of them. That is very comforting for him. He knows Niecey would hate to see him sad since they had a wonderful life, full of unparalled love, devotion and fun.
GO FOR IT! The very fact that your friend offered the puppy (GR.. yay!)to YOU, knowing you would be the perfect owner, says it all right there!!! What a compliment!!! Shai would want you to be happy! For sure she is looking down on your with a huge grin and approval!!!!

[Stenograsaurus]

I agree with everyone who has already posted. Getting another dog will never take the place of the one you lost. There will always be a special place in your heart for Shaianne. Having another dog, especially a puppy, will, however, allow you to focus on something else. I am all for getting another dog and the sooner, the better. But, again, only you can decide when you're truly ready. Good luck to you and let us know what you decide.

[tatsxxx11]

Dear Staci. I echo what everyone else has said. I lost the dog of my lifetime, my beloved Jingles, over 2 years ago. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of her, grieve her loss, cry, or miss her desperately. I too, never wished for a pedigree, or to go to a breeder for another pup. Too many doggie's needing homes already! But, just 1 month after Jing's passing, all things and circumstances conspired to bring Star into my life. As you say about this golden pup, she too needed a home. And I needed to put my grief to work, transforming it into a positive force, opening up my heart to another in need. Star has not replaced Jing. She moved into my heart and my home, helped me to heal, and holds her own place among the animals I have been privileged to share my life with. Only you can decide in the end when the time is right. But, you should never feel that you will in any way betray the memory of Shai, the love you shared, by opening your heart to another. We think of you and beautiful Shai every day. I know you will make the decision that is best for you right now. Have faith in yourself and follow your heart. Love, Sandra, Cody and Star

[Dixieland Dancer]

I have had 6 Goldens over the past 25 years and no two have been alike. Each has it's own personality and each that has passed is remembered very dearly. I have had strong bonds with all of them and know how having one around when the other passes makes it more bearable because you have to go on taking care, and loving the one that remains. That doesn't lessen the loss you feel, it just helps you to go on with a furbaby to love and cuddle with. I can't imagine life without a dog around.

I agree with Carrie though that only you can determine when the time is right. You need to deal with your grieving in a manner that is bearable for you!

One additional comment... Logan and I share the same thought that the breed is definitely a good choice. I realize that the papers you get don't mean anything special to you, it is the love you are looking for, but you may find that you can work with your new pup and even enter it in competitions for agility, obedience, etc... That is a great hobby for our dogs and also for us. I love going to the dog shows with Dixie and soon with Dusty and sharing some special memories of earning titles and learning together.

Best Wishes in making your decision!!!!

[jackiesdaisy1935]

Dear Staci, as everyone said no other dog will ever take Shai's place. Only she has a special corner of your heart. I think this little pup would be wonderful for you. Of course you are the only one who knows if you are ready. Just follow your heart.
Jackie

[3-greys-and-a-mutt]

Staci, this is something only you can decide.
If you get this puppy, there may be moments early on where you question, 'was this the right choice?' but those moments will be fleeting. You will still miss Shai if you get another dog, and probably always miss her. 15 years from now, when this puppy has been with you it's whole life, you will look back and not regret any decision you made now. I'm trying to say that you may have questions and regrets in the beginning, when you first bring a new puppy home, but in the long run, you won't have any regrets. Does that make sense???!

I lost my cocker spaniel, my companion from the time I was ten years old, in Jan. 2000. I had always said that, when Freckles passed, I would get two dogs eventually.
I was still in mourning in late February, when Joe saw something on the local news about greyhound adoption. He said flippantly 'how about a greyhound?' I said that I wasn't ready.... but it got the wheels turning in my head. When we read a notice about an adopt-a-thon in an area pet store. Joe convinced me to go look, 'just to check it out.' I kept insisting that I wasn't ready. We went to the show, met Paula, and two hours later, it was me who nervously grabbed an application and filled it out. Let me tell you, there were lots of times over the next two weeks (while we waited for a home visit and to complete the adoption process) where I broke down and said, 'I don't know if this is right; I feel like I'm cheating on Freckles....' But I went through with it. Even after Paula came home, I still had regrets and questions. But, a year and a half later, I am so happy that we did it. We might have missed out on our Paula, and the other dogs too, if we hadn't taken the step when we did.

In retrospect, you will never regret the choice to bring home a pet, as long as you train it well and it gets along with Kylie.

[shais_mom]

Thank you all for your support, I knew you would be there.
I am working on a letter to Shaianne for the rainbow bridge page of the pettalk page. I was writing it last night, crying. Kylie jumped up on the bed and put her paws on the tablet as in saying, Ok you're done!!
I think I will tell my friend I will take the puppy, it will be 8 weeks away as they are not born yet. By then I can mentally prepare myself for it.
Jessica, that is so neat the way you "got" Paula. You chipped!! I think maybe sometime down the road, I may rescue another greyhound. But from the very beginning, I said "I am not gettin' another one, they run too fast!!" If I had a fenced in yard, maybe.
I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the plight of those poor gentle creatures.
As I said before, Shai will let me know when its time. She will want me to give another dog the kind of life she had.

[aly]

Staci, I'm a huge advocate for adopting dogs from shelters and rescues, but I also feel there are times when fate steps in. I think it's fate that you get that puppy. I completely agree with everything everyone else has said. I think a Golden will have the perfect goofy personality to help lift your spirits. With the passing of dear Shai along with the country's tragedy, you deserve a little golden ball of happiness. I am happy to see you getting another pup because I have really been worried about you. I am so glad Kylie is there to help you cope. Good luck with everything. You're a great doggie mom and that little Golden is soooo lucky. We're all going to be on your back asking for pictures too

Oh, I have been in California for the past few days but I am going to add more to the Shai page. I also need to fix the guestbook because it cuts you off.

You put an extra .com at the end of the address in your sig.. otherwise it works fine.

[ September 20, 2001: Message edited by: aly ]

[Daisy's Mom]

I can only repeat what everyone else has said. Only you can decide when it's time, but my advice would be to get it. You would not be replacing Shai, but filling in the horrible gaping hole she has left in your house. So, I say, go for it

[Sudilar]

Everyone is right. Staci, only you can decide when is the right time. This sounds like fate to me, though. With the new puppy or dog (whenever that will be), you will not have time to break down and cry or feel depressed because the new pup will distract you. I remember that whenever I thought of Avalanche and started to cry, Killian would come over and lick my face. I would then get distracted and feel better. I also swore I would never get a GSD again after the death of my beloved dog of a lifetime, Wolf. As you all know, that changed. No one could ever replace Wolf or Avalanche, the others just share the place in my heart with my two at Rainbow Bridge. Good luck to you and go for it, if you are ready!!!!!