Dilema should I rehome Star?

[Cataholic]

Thank you for your reply. Star seems better now outside. She's been exploring a little bit. .

I am NOT picking on you. But, less than 2 hours ago you posted that Star was NOT doing well outside. How is she now doing better? Did she all of a sudden stop acting depressed and staring at you through the window?

Come on. Your husband is a grown man (presumably). Bring your cat inside- where it wants to be. Do your part- keep her out of the bedroom, vacuum, keep his hands away from the cat. Surely he can deal with what seems to be a mild irritant that might have nothing to do with Star.

She was your cat way before him, and sadly, the way things can work out today in marriages, she might be there long past him.

[JustineNYC]

What happens when she realizes you aren't going to allow her inside ever again and she leaves and you never see her again? I hate to say it but if she isn't getting attention from you, I assume you and your husband work and aren't going to sit outside with her 24/7, she is going to take off and leave, she isn't going to be content staring at you through a window. Then you'll be wondering if someone else is taking care of her, or if shes been hurt or killed. I've seen it before.

[catmandu]

I agree with Justine , Stars going to become very downhearted and think its somehow her fault that shes not allowed back into the home where she previuosly knew love and companionship. Stars hurt and is sad because she doesnt know while shes a pariah.
I think that Doctor is a Cat hater , and is using your husband allergies to strike at Cats.
He sounds like a creep.
Please let your Prodigal Cat in before something happens that you will never forgive yourself for.
Being with your Mother may not be perfect, but its better than Star being outside.

[carole]

firstly it is obvious as to me you love your Star very much ,otherwise why would you even post here,and you are in a difficult situation.

I would like to tell you 99 per cent of all cats in NZ are indoor/outdoor as are mine, i am not saying it is the perfect way to be and i really am preferring indoor cats only, but it is the way here.

As for allergies,let me tell you i have been allergic to cats for many years, infact i never owned a cat for over 15 years, until my beloved Ash turned up on my doorstep, and my then young daughter begged for him to stay, so you see i had four kitties,and i am still allergic, but i take medication now and then,not too often, and i don't fuss with bathing cats,or doing anything, and they sleep in our room at nights,all three sometimes, and on the bed,my allergy has not gone,but improved so much because i have put myself in amongst it all and desensitised my self ,well that is the only explanation i have for it.

As for cats sleeping on babies,well i am sure it does happen, but how often, and really it is up to you as a responsible parent to see that it does not happen,just as you would make sure your child is protected from all harm at any time.

I do feel for you and it is hard to know what to do for the best for everyone,but i think it would be wrong to re-home her at this stage,as it might not even be the cause , there are so many allergens out there, and your Doctor obviously was not a cat lover from his absurd comments.

If worse comes to worse and you do decide to re-home her, make sure it is with someone who will love her as much as you do and you can visit,but honestly that would be the last resort.

As for Donna, i am sorry you felt upset by her comments, but i as many here do know her pretty well, she has a heart of gold, would give you the shirt off her back,and she means well ,so don't take it to heart,she has Star's best interest at heart, as i am sure you do as well.

[Asiel]

The doctor was nice until he said, "not saying you need to kill your cat, but.." it really pissed me off. How could anyone say that about an animal, a very much loved animal. I have very little support in being a cat lover where I live other than my Mom. She understands my love for Star and if I absolutely had to rehome her, I'd let my mom keep her. She's got the same type of love for cats as I do and treats to spoil her even more than she already is.

Well, doctors aren't Gods and he doesn't own the cat so you can make up your own mind. If you absolutely have to rehome her your mom sounds like an ideal candidate. But I think in time your husband would get used to having the cat indoors, he could stay away as much as possible. And don't worry about the cat sleeping on the baby, lots of my friends have cats and had babies, it never happened to any of them. Sounds like you've made up your mind on keeping her indoors with you, it'll all work out in the end and you'll be glad you weren't hasty.

[Catlady711]

Has your hubby been any better with the break outs around his mouth since Star has been outside? If not then it might not be the cat at all.

Also you can pick up poison ivy from a pet. One of my co-workers and I both broke out in a horrible rash from a dog that gets into it alot. We now have a note on the file so either someone else can handle the dog, or we have to throw a towel over it and wash really good afterwards, we haven't had a problem since.

[StarandBratsmom]

I am NOT picking on you. But, less than 2 hours ago you posted that Star was NOT doing well outside. How is she now doing better? Did she all of a sudden stop acting depressed and staring at you through the window?

Come on. Your husband is a grown man (presumably). Bring your cat inside- where it wants to be. Do your part- keep her out of the bedroom, vacuum, keep his hands away from the cat. Surely he can deal with what seems to be a mild irritant that might have nothing to do with Star.

She was your cat way before him, and sadly, the way things can work out today in marriages, she might be there long past him.

I know I had said that she seemed off a few hours before replying to post but she really was at least to me it seemed. She's used to being outside, since she is an outdoor/inside kitty but she wanted in and it broke my heart to say no to her. Then she just acted like she was sad, napping. I was super super upset when I wrote my first post. Then after awhile, she seemed better, she woke up and did her usual thing, explore around the yard, eat, drink, and was more like her normal self. I think I AM TAKING IT WAY HARDER than her.

I did learn a lesson today though, next time I have a cat problem, I definitely won't be coming here. After a day of the comments making me cry, it's not worth it, I will figure out my problems on my own. So much for the support.

[Grace]

Hey everyone. It's been awhile since I've visited here, I hope everyone is doing great. Alot has changed for me, I got married last summer, and now I am pregnant and due to have my daughter in July. Star has been with me pretty much the whole time.

Just thinking she may have to go, depresses me and makes me tear up, but what should I do? What is best for my husband, my baby, and for Star? What should I do?

I did learn a lesson today though, next time I have a cat problem, I definitely won't be coming here. After a day of the comments making me cry, it's not worth it, I will figure out my problems on my own. So much for the support.

And your signature - Do you have an opinion?

I'm sorry you're upset; but you did ask for help, for opinions. And you got them. Granted, not every post was what you wanted to hear - but we stated our opinions, gave you suggestions to solve your problem.

I hope you can resolve this problem without too much more angst - especially for Star.

[Catty1]

Hon, next time you are in a pet store, just ask about the allergy stuff. The answer could be really simple and inexpensive.

{{{{hugs}}}}

[Scooter's Mom]

A domesticated cat, especially one who has been an indoor cat their whole life, does not belong outdoors. I believe that if you cannot provide her the shelter she deserves, yes - you should rehome Star.

Being outdoors exposes her to not only predators such as wildlife (coyotes) but cars and weather extremes in addition to disease even if she has been vaccinated.

Good luck in your decision. I know it can't be an easy one and must be weighing heavily on your mind.

[kb2yjx]

Please read the story of the Cat of the Day today, Friday. Please bring Star back inside. And LOVE her!!!

[StarandBratsmom]

Hey everyone, it's a whole new day. I have had the chance to calm down, and so has Star. Star has NOT been an indoor cat, she has been mostly an outdoor cat with visitations both inside and outside. I live in a safe place otherwise, she wouldn't be allowed outside at all. She's be heartbroken if she weren't allowed to go outside and catch bugs and eat grass. I know because we lived in an apartment briefly. What made her sad was, our morning cuddles. Instead of them being indoors, they were outdoors. I promise you, I did not ignore her. I can't ignore her, every time I looked at her I cried. I was outside every hour playing with her. Then a couple hours later, she seemed to have gotten over not coming inside and returned to her normal self. I believe this whole ordeal was harder on me than it was on her. Keep in mind, I am just about 7 months pregnant and I am at the overly emotional stage not to mention suffer from depression.

As for the very blunt answers and opinions, yes they were not what I wanted to hear, and maybe I should have been a little more clear on how much I LOVE MY STAR, but I strongly believe we cat people can accept that not all cats are meant to be indoors. Like I said, Star absolutely loves being outside, she likes inside too. She's not completely helpless, and she isn't declawed.

Last night when my husband got home, we decided that Star could be inside, just not in our bedroom and we would deep clean every day and I will wipe her down to reduce the amount of allergens.

Yes his allergies got better after he being outside, but yesterday at work he developed another swelling, but he's on medicine and it helped. There is no telling what exactly causes his allergies but I do know I have such an awesome husband and I'd do anything for him. It was all his idea last night to keep Star in, and he's willing to tolerate a little uncomfort for my happiness and Star. Now you guys can see why I'd do anything for him, he's such a wonderful man who truly loves me.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

[Asiel]

Great news about Star, and yourselves. Seems as if everything is resolved to everyone's benefit.

[catmandu]

I am sorry if I said anything hurtful to you , I just reacted without really thinking things through
I should have realized that you would do nothing that would hurt Star at all.
Theres too much love between you, and tahts not a lot of fun for your husband to have those sores.
Are they better now?
Again apologies from Me for jumping to conclusions.
As the Mohawks used to say walk a mile in anothers moccasins before you judge.

[moosmom]

While I appreciate it, I wish people would stop trying to make excuses for my opinions.

The opinions are mine and I'm not budging one iota.

When I posted what I did, it was just after returning from my friend's house (also an animal advocate). She was on her way home and saw a beautiful orange boy DEAD ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. Some a-hole hit him and left him like yesterday's trash. We all chipped in and had him respectfully cremated. It's what he deserved. At one time he was someone's pet, just like Star is to you.

And why is it (and don't tell me it doesn't happen alot) that when the miracle of pregnancy comes around, the beloved pet becomes disposable???

Someone has to stand up for the animals. I'm a diehard animal person and will not apologize for the way I feel. Oh, and I also suffer from depression and PTSD.

If you live anywhere near CT, let me know. Maybe I can help you find a home for Star.