Bonding with a new kitty...

[moosmom]

I've had Loo Loo now for about a month or so. Everything is fine. Buddy adores her and they play so well together.

But I have a question. It's been on my mind for a bit now. I don't seem to have the same kind of "bond" with Loo Loo that I did with Mollie Rose. Don't get me wrong, she's a sweet cat and I'm glad everyone is doing well. But she doesn't climb in my lap and cuddle the way Mollie Rose did. I really miss that.

Is this a normal reaction? Has anyone else who has lost a kitty ever felt that way??

[smokey the elder]

Every cat is different. When I lost Smokey 10 years ago, it was quite a long time before I got another "lap cat". Diamond and TicTac are very sweet, but aren't lap cats. Bosun is well...Bosun. It was only when I adopted two adults (Bubba and Pink Nose) that I got "lap cats" again.

[pomtzu]

Yup - they're all different Donna. Maybe when she gets a little older, she'll become more mellow. She's still a baby, isn't she?

Just because she looks like Mollie Rose, doesn't mean she will act like her. Enjoy your little fur ball for what she is - a unique personality like no other! Let her surprise you with all the different acts and quirks that are hers alone. You wouldn't really want a clone, would you?

[catmandu]

Well being a Kitten Loo Loo may be so curious about her New Furrever Home and Buddy and You, that she hasnt got time to sit still and be a Lap cat yet
I find that Cats really dont become Lappies until they are a bit older and settled.
PHOTOS PLEASE!!!!

[katladyd]

When my boyfriend lost his beloved Tomas, I had just the day before, adopted a new kitten and given it to him(long story, he needed a home). Now, Buddy, the new guy was NOTHING like Tomas. Tomas was patient, loving, and sedate. Buddy is funny, rambunctious, and very impatient! He hates to sit on laps or be still for very long at all. At first, this bothered us until we started to appreciate Buddy for the beautiful (he is a gorgeous medium-haired tuxie!), funny, playful guy that he is. So playful, in fact, that we had to get a friend for him to play with. Enter Mau Mau. She is a lap cat extraordinare and seldom leaves a lap except to eat. Now that we have both kinds, we have found that each one has their own brand of charm. Enjoy your new kitty and she may become a lap cat yet! Buddy has recently started sitting on laps and begging for love and attention.

[carole]

Donna maybe she is just not going to be a lap kitty, as you well know not all of them are, out of my four I only have one who I would class as a semi-lap cat.

just accept her for herself, she will eventually show her purrsonality as time goes by, i know you want her to be like Mollie Rose, but it ain't gonna happen, she will be whoever SHE wants to be lol.Kitties Rule remember.

[Catty1]

Remember Buddy's one owner...the senior gentleman who thought Buddy would be like his departed cat because they looked alike!

It was the same thing - Buddy was Buddy, and also younger than the gentleman's cat!

Youth and kitties are wacky!

[Medusa]

Carole is right; some kitties just aren't lap cats. Yodie sure isn't. Neither was Puddy. Peeka could've sat on my lap all day; Boo, too. Just enjoy Loo Loo for the itty bitty kitty that she is and maybe she'll come around eventually. Don't try to replace Mollie Rose. It's always tempting to do that after we've lost our heart kitty but it isn't fair to the new fuzz nugget. You'll work it out and have a bond probably different from the one you had w/Mollie Rose.

[Freedom]

Of my 10, only 3 are lap cats. Two definitely consider me their slave and nothing more.

[Laura's Babies]

Don't push it. Some are lap cats, some are not.. Give her time to settle in and feel totally safe and trusting of you. She could very well turn into the most lap hungry cat you ever had or the one that never sits in your lap. They are all different.. (Just like us!)

[Cataholic]

I are what you are saying, Donna. It is more that the fact she isn't a lap cat, it is also that you don't feel a strong bond with her. That can be that your heart isn't completely "open" to receiving her YET, and you feel divided with your feelings for mollie rose. That, coupled with the possibility that she isn't a lap cat YET can be unsettling.

I think you both need more time. A month is not very long, really. She may come around, you may come around to accepting this kitty in your heart more securely.

More time, more patience.

[Pinot's Mom]

I'm going to echo many sentiments here, and as someone who has gone through the same thing, I can sympathize. I don't know if you remember the thread, but I actually posted when Pinot started coming onto my lap - it was when I got my netbook, for some reason. I was thrilled. We had had her for well over a year at that point, and she had been adopted at ten months. It took my husband and I several years to get another kitty after our baby Jamara went to the bridge, and I missed the lap kitty so much. I had thought our Pinot just wouldn't be a lap kitty, then it changed. You may or may not have that happen; as everyone has said - they're all their own personalities. Don't force it, bond in your own way, and don't compare kitties. You'll find your bond, and it may or may not be your lap.

Don't worry, Donna, it's been such a short time!

[Momto4FemaleFelines]

You may be happily surprised as time goes on.
I've had my oldest cat, Philly, for almost 5 years now. She is STILL changing in small ways as time goes by.
Part of it is probably because of stress caused by a cat, Tiger Lily who was Cat of the Day here in May '09, whom we ultimately recently re-homed because she didn't get along with 2 of the other cats and kept getting sterile cystitis.
Even before Tiger Lily joined our family in May of '08, Philly was not the most sociable cat. She really didn't want anything to do with my husband.
Now, she is out with us in the living room all the time, she is starting to get comfortable and bond with my husband and she gets on my lap once in a while for short periods of time.
So hang in there and give it time...don't push LooLoo, let her do things in her time.

[Tora Oni]

I know what your saying sometimes you kinda wish your new pet would have some of the qualities you miss in your old pet. It was 11 months after my first dog passed away when we got Chi. Chi is not a Labrador mix she is a toy poodle mix she has not learned some things that came natural to old Cliffy.

For one she is barky, Clifford hardly ever barked. Chi is also not much of an eater she likes human food but dog food she will eat at night instead of the mourning. Chi also has fascination with our registers she always stops and looks into them and gives them a sniff, then she moves on. Chi loves to play ball and snuggle. She a complete ham for chicken. Chi is not Clifford I know that very much though its hard not to compare your dogs and Its nice to know they are different I will always love Clifford for his personality and traits and I will always love Chi for hers.


Stormy he was never a lap cat he never wanted to lay beside me or anything before his last year with me. His last year with me he became little more needy but he started wanting food at the sound of my alarm, so as soon as my alarm went off or he give me half hour if it didn't he would get me up. He use to just bang on the door or scratch at my wicker basket. Then that last year he would sit on my end table and hop on over and paw at me or sometimes give a meow. Later during the last 3 months he would sleep on my pillow since I always have my head tucked under the covers and then just give a prompt slap of the paw or bite my ear if needed. So it was so weird that the last years was such a dramatic change I did enjoy the extra closeness that came from it even if it meant more work on my part.

[moosmom]

I hear you, guys. She's only about 7 months old and still a kitten, I know. She's due for spaying in the next week.

Catty1, you hit the nail right on the head!!! SPEAK OF THE DEVIL...guess who called me last week??? Hal!! Buddy's former owner.

He misses Buddy. But I told him how happy and healthy Buddy is now that he knows he's not going anywhere. I explained how much of a social butterfly Buddy is. He WANTS to be around other cats. Hal admitted that he used to yell at Buddy (I already knew it but got him to admit it to me) and over use the squirt bottle. I told Hal that I let Buddy do ANYTHING he wants! Climb, jump, hide, explore, WHATEVER!!!