Either way I will always question my decision-UPDATE

[cassiesmom]

I am so sorry to hear about Duke.
You both will be in my prayers.

Same here, and a candle
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/...ng&cid=9875443

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this difficult time. I know that whatever decision you decide to make that it'll be what's best for Duke. I'm also going through something similar with my cat Sunny. He also has an aggressive type of cancer and only has 3-5 months to live. I've decided to just make him as comfortable as possible and enjoy the time that I have left with him. Another PT'er said that "sometimes the treatment is far worse than the disease itself." I believe this to be true and when the quality of life is gone then it's time to say goodbye. Lots of prayers an positive thoughts are being sent Duke's way. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[WELOVESPUPPIES]

Thank you all for your support and understanding. I knew if anyone would understand the heartache of making this decision it would be PTers.

I spoke with the vet yesterday and asked many more questions. I just don't want to remember my Duke in pain wishing I had or had not done something. I will choose what is best for my boy no matter how painstakingly hard that decision might be. I still hold out hope that maybe, just maybe it could be something benign, she said it is possible on the first aspiration she hit a blood vessel and that is why we ended up with just blood (no tumor cells at all - good or bad). I told the vet my feelings of putting him through surgery at almost 9.5 years old. The risk of him bleeding to death on the table is my greatest fear since we don't know exactly what caused the bleeding the first time, she also agrees that this is a concern. I could go from weeks, months and maybe even years to just...nothing, he would be gone and I would live with the guilt of doing that to him forever. I am leaning towards palliative care, just making him as comfortable as I possibly can and loving him with all my heart if it ends up being something malignant. He shows no signs at this time of even being ill and I am greatful for that. Eats like a horse as always, plays and has that wounderful twinkle in his eyes that he has always had when he looks at me. After talking to the vet about my concerns for surgery she offered to do an ultrasound on Monday instead. Sometimes an ultrasound can answer some of the questions we have. If it is porous(sponge-like) it is normally malignant, if not then we could just be dealing with some benign lump. If is in the middle, well obviously we will be in the same place we are now. I asked her what she thought of another aspiration...she said she would most definitely be for that and will do it under ultrasound guidance this time to be sure she gets what she wants. I pray this time we can see something that will give us answers. I will keep you posted on the results from the aspiration.

She has given me her scenerio of "what if this was her dog". She said she would have to at least do the biopsy, she would need to know. But for me if the aspiration can give me the answers I need without putting him through the risk of bleeding subcutaneously again then I choose that route.

I know I will ponder all this again once I know something on Monday...I just continue to pray and ask for prayers that God points me in the right direction, keeps my heart from making a decision that only benefits me and not Duke.

Thank you all again...
Traci

[moosmom]

Traci,

You and Duke will be in my thoughts and prayers. Just remember one thing. Whatever you decide, you did for Duke. I pray that it's benign and that Duke will bounce back.

[Alysser]

This mirrors exactly how I felt at the time with Sassy. Although the circumstances are completely different, there was absolutely nothing we can do. But I still had so many regrets and I still do have some...(((hugs))) & thouhgts going ot to you.

[Freedom]

We are right with you, Traci!

Hugs to Duke and all the others.

[Pinot's Mom]

I'm very sorry for you and Duke; this is a very tough situation we pet owners have faced or will face in all likelihood. My heart goes out to you.

As for regret of any decision, and this is to everyone: THERE IS NO WRONG DECISION MADE WITH LOVE AS A GUIDE. PERIOD. Please remember that.

[Taz_Zoee]

Like Alyssa, this takes me back to when I had to make this decision with Taz. I still feel like I shouldn't have done it. But then I think, no, it was the right thing to do. It just hurts so bad either way.
Duke sounds like he is still full of life right now. So I say just enjoy that and don't worry about the tough decisions until you absolutely have to (that is what I did).

I will hope for the best with Monday's vet visit.

[Catty1]

Prayers for clear results - and GOOD ones - at the vet's. Praying that whatever does or does not show up, you will have more clarity and peace of mind. {{{{hugs}}}}

PS - I am not particularly a dog person, but I think Duke is a big, handsome boy. And just a little bit sucky too, right?