Random thoughts

[cassiesmom]

I don't see myself as a very brave person but here's a quote: "Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine." -Roy T. Bennett

[Vette]

Its really annoying when the doctor/s dont know what theyre doing.

the quote above made me smile though. i'll have to keep that in mind more

[mon]

How does one change? I am dreading having an uninvited guest. One and a half months, my mother in law is going to stay for one and a half months. Six weeks, that's like 28 days plus 14 more. Give or take. I think I'm gonna stroke out. No getting out of it, I tried. So.. how do I change? Look forward to to the gates of hell opening up and the antichrist planting her arse in my home.... for one and a half months, six freakin weeks, that's at least 28 days, and at least 14 more. I need to get the hell outta dodge. I can't cope with her. I will go insane. I'm done.

[cassiesmom]

http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/l...Kcr?ocid=ientp

If only I had a huge house and enough space for three Saint Bernards ... How fun would that be?!! If I win $1.5 billion in the lottery drawing, I would buy a humongous house and fill it up with fur kids. But three St. Bernards, you're going to need lots of brushes and combs! I'd be glad to help!

[cassiesmom]

How does one change? I am dreading having an uninvited guest. One and a half months, my mother in law is going to stay for one and a half months. Six weeks, that's like 28 days plus 14 more. Give or take. I think I'm gonna stroke out. No getting out of it, I tried. So.. how do I change? Look forward to to the gates of hell opening up and the antichrist planting her arse in my home.... for one and a half months, six freakin weeks, that's at least 28 days, and at least 14 more. I need to get the hell outta dodge. I can't cope with her. I will go insane. I'm done.

I'm sorry, mon. I hope it goes better than you're expecting.

[cats4ever]

Would it be possible to just try to get along? I know that's a lot to ask if you just can't stand the person, but you know that she's leaving after six weeks, so why not try to make it work.
What does your mother-in-law enjoy doing? Keep her busy, keep yourself busy.

[mon]

Aww, thanks kids! I will stop wallowing in self pity now, it is a very unattractive quality, I realize. What she likes to do is sit in my chair all day, and stare at her i phone, leave a trail of crumbs and dishes from the kitchen to the chair and watch home Reno shows and the property brothers while drinking no less that one bottle of red wine and at least 3 highballs. I'll just hide upstairs when I need a break, there's lots to do upstairs, housework, t.v., reading, kissing cats.....laundry. It is unavoidable, I have a few months to steel myself for the inevitable. It's hard to have her for 2 weeks, I cannot fathom, well...you know. I will just have to let her make a huge mess and clean it all up when she's gone, there. Problem solved. Maybe I was a messy kid, could be Karma.

[phesina]

What does your husband... her son.. have to say about all this? Will he take some responsibility and involve himself with his mother while she's visiting?

[mon]

Oh yes, he always helps with everything but she always comes when he has holidays, 4 times a year. She will be here when he's working this time, he works at least 12 hours a day. She won't cook or clean anything, believe me, I have asked her many times. It's so weird, I know she can see well enough. She's just lazy and busy on her i pad, drinking and eating. She always says " I'll do it later". Well she never does. Blows my mind. I have gotten angry a couple times and told her to help out, she just gets insulting, pretends to cry and then pouts in her room for a while. Then she'll re appear ten minutes later, want to "hug it out" as she calls it and carry on her merry way, exactly as before. It's amazing really, gotta hand it to her. I am not sure if she is messed up in the head or not, I think she just wants to get her way and knows I'm not sure what to think. Hopefully she will stop coming to visit one day 💀😸🙀

[mon]

Oh it's all very boring and complicated I know. She has dual citizenship, to keep it and her B.C. Medical ins. She must spend a certain amount of time here, apparently our house. I think she blew most of her wad, travelles the world, last year it was Anrarctica and Cambodia. She just bought a condo in Mexico and her laser surgery is cheaper here, plus she will have free room, board and a chef and maid. Chicks not stupid. Sorry, I'm done, I hope I'm never anything like her when I'm old 🙏🏾😁

[Karen]

I think you need to sit down with your husband on a calm day, and discuss with him a set of written "rules" for his mother to follow while she is here, or she can expect to be told to get a rental room somewhere instead. Make a list - laundry, dishes, whatever, list out every possible chore. Discuss it calmly, and see what can be worked out.

There is hope- she is not the only one who needs to change.

[cassiesmom]

I think you need to sit down with your husband on a calm day, and discuss with him a set of written "rules" for his mother to follow while she is here, or she can expect to be told to get a rental room somewhere instead. Make a list - laundry, dishes, whatever, list out every possible chore. Discuss it calmly, and see what can be worked out.

There is hope- she is not the only one who needs to change.

Especially if he's going to be working 12-hour days during her visit. I think an advance plan is a terrific idea. A similar thing happened to my family many years ago when a family friend visited. She wanted to cook for us, but she didn't have a car and I ended up taking her to the supermarket, the butcher, the bakery ... She was having such a lovely time with us (after we had been her AirB&B, restaurant, laundry and maid service for ten days) that she wanted to stay another week. We firmly told her that wouldn't work for us. When she left it was like a three ring circus had just left town. Looking back, we'd have done a lot better with some sort of agenda made out in advance.

(((HUGS))) Wish I was closer and could help you. Kiss your kitties for me

[mon]

Thanks Karen and cassiesmom. I'll consider it, the list I mean. If she does dishes, there's always dried food left on the plates and cutlery, yuuuck. If she crams them in the dishwasher there's also too much food on them and I gotta do it myself anyway. She does lift her feet up whilst I vaccume however. She'll just ignore a list, I'll get angry. There's no point, that's 30 yrs. of experience talking. I'm just going to do the same as usual, try and get her to clean up after herself and let the rest go. We won't let her come back for a VERY long time after this, at least a year. I'll try and change as much as I can, I don't expect she'll change much...😂

[mon]

Especially if he's going to be working 12-hour days during her visit. I think an advance plan is a terrific idea. A similar thing happened to my family many years ago when a family friend visited. She wanted to cook for us, but she didn't have a car and I ended up taking her to the supermarket, the butcher, the bakery ... She was having such a lovely time with us (after we had been her AirB&B, restaurant, laundry and maid service for ten days) that she wanted to stay another week. We firmly told her that wouldn't work for us. When she left it was like a three ring circus had just left town. Looking back, we'd have done a lot better with some sort of agenda made out in advance.

(((HUGS))) Wish I was closer and could help you. Kiss your kitties for me

That sounds familiar, exactly my experience! I am so sorry for you, wasn't that dreadful!! I know, unfortunately I can totally relate my friend. Hope she never came back. 😁

[mon]

You are saints for bearing with me, truly. I just sent Mum in Law an e mail explaining that I expect her to help around the house, help with everything, every day she stays. Only when she is feeling better after her laser cataract procedures of course. I also said that she has been coming for years and never helps out and that I really cannot physically do it all anymore, especially for that length of time. I have DDD and arthritis so I do the best I can but truth be told, she gets around far better than I unfortunately. I know that she will get really drunk, tell all her cronies at the bar and then send me a scorching, resentful e mail. I told her not to bother with that. Either help out at the very least or find other accommodations. I also know she will try to pit her son against me and cry. I don't care, told her that too. You pick your battles and I choose very few. I've had enough. I've been dealing with the consequences of this and shall continue to do so, on my terms now. Oh MY, maybe pray for me....? 😮😳