need parenting advice

**joycenalex** · 07-05-2009, 09:11 AM

helena is a very sweet kid. since her birth family dynamic is...volatile...and she is only 4 1/2, her ability to express her feelings and anger is limited. i'm worried that without help, she will not learn to express her feelings in ways that aren't short and long term self destructive. can anyone recommend books for me and or her? and since alanon doesn't have groups for small kids, i'm looking for alcohol&drug info for young kids of druggged alcoholic parents. thanks joyce

**Karen** · 07-05-2009, 11:48 AM

My church hosts very many self-help groups, including AA, AA women's group, etc. I will ask my pastor to ask them if they have any advice or books for little kids to help.

In the meantime, give Helene a good tickle from me, okay? Tell her they're from Auntie Karen - I have many nieces and nephews that are no genetic connection (as well as several that ARE), so we can add her to the list!

**joycenalex** · 07-05-2009, 03:21 PM

yeah we need alatot. eileen checked out the local moms in AA groups, what i'm looking for isn't quite there yet. on monday, i'll call my employee assistance program and the childrens hospitaL to check for info from the social workers....i don't want her to walk the family path of addiction and anger and poor life choices

**Karen** · 07-05-2009, 04:10 PM

I have met many of our "group" people, and even some of the children, and I know they will be very happy to help. We interact gingerly, because of the anonymous nature of the groups, but I have often met kids, hanging out in the kitchen while the group meeting in the dining room, for example. As our groups have been in existence for decades, I am sure they will have suggestions.

**Catty1** · 07-05-2009, 05:14 PM

I have heard of Alateen and Alateenies (I'm sure that was the word!), but don't know how widespread the latter are.

Maybe she could accompany an adult to an Alateen meeting? Or meet up with other kids at the BBQs and other events these groups sometimes have?

There mus be Al-Anon parents of kids her age...could you attend a few Al-Anon meetings to at least get support in this, and ideas?

**Cataholic** · 07-06-2009, 02:21 PM

IMO, these are such formative years, I would want professional intervention, probably one on one, and the child with her current family unit (you

).

**moosmom** · 07-06-2009, 02:32 PM

Call the AA hotline in your area. They can tell you where you can get a bunch for your area. They also have meetings for children if alcoholic, adult children of alcoholics in your area. I'm sure a seasoned alcoholic would be more than happy to come out and speak too!

Good luck.

**lizbud** · 07-06-2009, 05:49 PM

Originally Posted by joycenalex

yeah we need alatot. eileen checked out the local moms in AA groups, what i'm looking for isn't quite there yet. on monday, i'll call my employee assistance program and the childrens hospitaL to check for info from the social workers....i don't want her to walk the family path of addiction and anger and poor life choices

I hope you found some support groups or other assistance programs
to help you help this child. Bless you for caring.

**sasvermont** · 07-06-2009, 06:24 PM

Gosh, there must be some professional guidance counsel services within your community. She will be entering the school system soon and will need to be about as well adjusted as possible to tackle the socialization etc. when the time comes.

The more help, the better, IMO.

Good luck. Bless your hearts.

**joycenalex** · 07-07-2009, 09:57 AM

i left msgs at the local childrens behavorial health unit this am. i'll contact the womens AA groups and keep plugging away. thanks for the input.

**joycenalex** · 07-07-2009, 09:59 AM

donna, eileen has a 20 year chip, there is no way we'd be doing this without her knowledge about the games alcoholic /drug families play....the idea of another kid lost in that maze leading into poverty and another generation of disfunction...well, gonna do our best to stop it. (brave words and ideas huh?)