I really need some help, please

[snowbelle15]

I don't know what to do. I feel so empty inside. I just need to get this out. So here's the story:
When I first started school I met this really nice and cute guy and we became very good and close friends. Over the months I started to get feelings for him, but I never wanted to tell him because I thought he would never like him and I'd just make a fool of myself. In march, he transferred to another highschool, but we still kept in touch, but we never saw eachother since. In april, he told me that he liked me, and I told him I liked him. Ever since then, he would say that sweetest things to me like "you're so beautiful", "I hate not being with you, I wish I was with you", etc. I actually thought wow me and him might actually go out.

But here's where that problem comes in. About two fridays ago, we hungout, just me and him. We went to the movies, we both had a really good time. Ever since we hungout that day, he won't talk to me at all. He ignores my IMs, texts, or calls. But if we do talk, he's short with me. It's like he doesn't want to bother with me anymore. It's not like him, I thought he was different, I really did.

Now I just keep wondering, did I do something wrong? Does he not like me anymore? Did he lie to me when he told me he liked me? Was he just saying that to see what I would say, to mess with me? Was he playing me? I just feel so stupid for believing every word he said. I feel so stupid for telling him I liked him. I especially feel stupid for letting me like him so much.

I know you might think I'm overreacting, but he really hurt me. I can't help but blame myself. I know I didn't do anything wrong, but I feel like it's all my fault.

Thank you for reading this. I just needed to get this out, and any help/advice would be greatly appreciated.

[caseysmom]

It sounds like something scared him away, you will never know if you don't ask. Can you text him about it?

[snowbelle15]

It sounds like something scared him away, you will never know if you don't ask. Can you text him about it?

I was thinking the same thing. I asked him a couple days ago if something was wrong or if something happened. And he just kept saying everything's fine.

[caseysmom]

Maybe he feels like you like him seriously and he isn't ready for that...just be more laid back about him and he will probably come around.

[happylabs]

I have been through so many heart breaks so I can relate. A broken heart is the worst pain I have ever felt. I am 48 though but still can remember the high school heart breaks I had.

Guys at the high school age are just so much more immature than girls. I know this from personal experience and also I have an 18 year old daughter.

It does sound to me like maybe there is someone else in his life.
It is most likely nothing that you did or said at all.

I wish I could help more. I can relate so much to your situation. Unfortunately men do not get any easier to figure out as you get older. My husband left me after 17 years of marriage for an old college girlfriend. I have been dating off and on since and actually the men seem MORE immature at my age!

You need a hug! Hope he lets you know what is going on.

[Medusa]

It does sound to me like maybe there is someone else in his life.

Unfortunately, that was my thought as well. I'll add this: if someone doesn't talk to you at all, IMO this is too insulting. It's as though you're not worth their breath. You did nothing wrong and should not be questioning yourself. He has bad manners and owes you an explanation but don't be surprised if you never get one and it may not be the truth even if you do get one. Heartache is tough at any age but it toughens you up and makes you smarter. It is a heart ache and not a heart break. The best thing you can do is not allow him to do this to you so that when you run into him again, he'll see that he had no effect on you whatsoever, that he wasn't worth any heartache. Hang in there. The right guy will come along and will make you wonder what all the fuss was about w/the other guy. Keep the faythe.

[moosmom]

Maybe he feels like you like him seriously and he isn't ready for that...just be more laid back about him and he will probably come around.

Good point, Caseysmom!! The more I know men, the more I like my cats!!

[happylabs]

Good point, Caseysmom!! The more I know men, the more I like my cats!!

Oh yea...I agree with you 100% on that one! And, my dog Casey too. Casey is way more loving and faithful than any man I have met yet. Also, no man has ever been as happy to see me as my dog is when I get home from work!

But, you are young snowbelle and I have heard there are actually some good guys out there. Just be true to your heart and don't let the guys change your outlook on life.

[Catherinedana]

People can be very strange when it comes to relationships. I always figure, if they aren't in the same place that you are about emotions and their interactions, then it's not worth stressing over. I feel that it's a good thing you found out that he is what they call "emotionally unavailable" now rather than having invested a lot of time and effort into a relationship and then have him go all weird on you. I was married for 15 years before I realized that my husband at the time wasn't giving as good as he was getting!

As for all the negative stuff about men, people are all nuts. . .men and women! What you have to do is find the nut that suits your needs and that is the perfect match! I did! Barry and I found each other later in life and realized that all the other "junk" was just sort of a rehearsal so that we could get this one right!


Don't beat yourself up for loving someone. Just take this as a lesson learned and move on. You WILL get over it, I assure you!

A hug for you! and your heart
Cathy

[Alysser]

I could tell you the typical responses to something like this like 'guys are all jerks and blah' but then I'd be lying. I had a my first boyfriend starting in Feburary and I ended it in April two months later, so no I certainly don't have as much experience as some people here, but I can tell you that THIS particular guy is not worth your time. You DID NOTHING wrong from what I can tell but this guy is not ready for a serious relationship or as the other ladies advised he might have someone else in his life.

This is your first major crush, I'm assuming and though it didn't end the way you wanted take it as a learning experience. Catherinedana pretty much summed up all my thoughts. You can't hate yourself for loving someone or think it was stupid, because it wasn't. He just didn't have the same feelings, or he did but not anymore.

Don't let anyone tell you loving or boys are a waste of time, because that's not true. I broke up with Chris because he wasn't right for me, but he wasn't a jerk or a bad person. We're still friends though. I promise you, YOU WILL find the person, your soul-mate, whether it be in 5 years or 15 years. You will know, and there will be heartaches like this, even worse then this but when you find the right guy you will see it was all worthwhile and meant to happen.

[snowbelle15]

Thank you everyone for all your help and support! I really apperciate it.

And for those who said there might be someone else in his life, well, you were right. He texted me telling me that he was sorry for not really talking. He said he was too caught up with this amazing girl he met. *Sigh*

[Medusa]

Ugh. He texted you to tell you that? Not man enough to face you. I'm sorry that it turned out to be the case that he was involved w/someone else but now he's her problem. You can move on w/no doubts about yourself and the person who is right for you will find you. This guy wasn't good enough for you. Keep the faythe.

[caseysmom]

I'm sorry, that doesn't feel good does it? Don't worry thought there is someone special out there for you and it wasn't him.

[Daisy and Delilah]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I know it hurts. Try to forget him and move on. You'll meet someone and you'll be really happy.

The most important thing is to not blame yourself for anything. It just wasn't meant to be. Worrying that you caused a problem is negative energy and it might bring you down. Stay positive and remember:::You did nothing wrong.

[Genny]

This guy just seems too immature for you. He doesn't know what he wants and he is very rude and unthoughtful of your feelings. I think you should forget him and move on.

You'll have tons of guys that you'll date and go out with and I'm sure you'll break a few hearts yourself, but in the end you'll find your prince charming and you'll know. This guy here definitely isn't him.