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Thread: "Mensa Test" (joke)

  1. #1
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    "Mensa Test" (joke)

    I snickered my way through this and hoped you'd enjoy it, too. Just how sharp are your wits?
    ***********

    Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.
    As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The
    saying: "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so...

    Below is a very private way to gauge you loss or non-loss of intelligence. So take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or still a MENSA candidate.


    Ok, relax... clear your mind, and begin.


    ***

    Q: What do you put in a toaster?
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    A: The answer is bread. If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else before you hurt yourself. If you said "bread", go to the next question.

    ***

    Q: Say "silk" five times. Now, spell "silk." What do cows drink?
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    A: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as "Children's World." if you said "water", then proceed to the next question.

    ***

    Q: If a red house is made with red bricks, a blue house is made
    with blue bricks, a pink house is made with pink bricks, a black
    house is made with black bricks, what is a greenhouse made with?
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    A: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks,"
    what the heck are you still doing here reading these questions???
    Dang!!... If you said "glass", then go on to the next question.

    ***

    Q: Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over
    Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically
    divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that
    the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash
    landing procedure. Unfortunately, the engine fails before he has
    time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no-man's-land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors - East Germany or West Germany or in "no-man's-land?"
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    A: You don't, of course, bury the survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be
    appreciated... If you said, "Don't bury the survivors" then proceed to the next question.

    ***

    Q: If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a degree every
    minute, then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    A: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything else other
    than "one degree", you are to be congratulated on getting this
    far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil
    in and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.

    ***

    Q: Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London
    to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus.
    In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In
    Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11
    people geto off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people
    get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off
    and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    A: Oh, for Heaven's sake... It was you!
    I'm sometimes asked "Why do you spend so much of your time and money talking about kindness to animals when there is so much cruelty to men?" I answer: "I am working at the roots." -George T. Angell, reformer (1823-1909)



    Thank you, Popcornbird for creating this tribute to Summer starring Livvy and Cassy

    Livvy: 11 April 99 - 5 July 09
    Cassy: 11 July 99 - 8 April 11

    If you would like to visit my BeautiConsultant page --
    http://www.beautipage.com/serene_angel_hm_spa/

  2. #2
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    LoL that was funny I got the cow one wrong and I am still young lol!!
    Mom to Ethan, Sophie and Sansa

  3. #3
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    So funny!! I got the cow one wrong too-I immediately slapped myself on the head realizing what stupid answer I just blurted out.
    `````````````````````````
    I love my furkid Neko!

    ^TAMA^ 8/24/00 - 4/27/12 Thank you for being in my life I love you always and forever


  4. #4
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    What is it about the cow one? That is the only one I screwed up too!

  5. #5
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    AmberLee,

    I really enjoyed that quiz. Very Clever.

    Thanks for the laughs today. Liz.
    I've Been Boo'd

    I've been Frosted






    Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  6. #6
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    LOL AmberLee Thanks for sharing this.

  7. #7
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    How is it we all got the cow one wrong !!

    For some reason I got this one wrong too, it took me saying it outloud to process it

    Q: If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a degree every
    minute, then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?
    I kept saying 360! Duh!

    Huney, Bon & Simba-missed so very much
    Remembering all the Rainbow Bridge Pets

  8. #8
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    LoL Good fun. I was doing ok till I got to the survivor one... lol, so stupid of me Thanks for posting

  9. #9
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    I was doing good until I got to the clock one. I said 360 degree.

  10. #10
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    HA!! HA!!
    On the cow one.... I read it all the way through before I answered it and I thought it was gonna trick me to say silk so I was thinking.. ha I'm not gonna say silk I'm gonna say milk...
    WELL DUH!!!!!!11
    The answer was WATER!!!
    But I continued anyway because baby cows drink milk.
    [CENTER]

    Alden is here!!
    7/6/2006 - 9 pounds 9 ounces 22 inches


    Tinky

  11. #11
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    Originally posted by Sara luvs her Tinky
    ...I thought it was gonna trick me to say silk ...

    Oh, Sara!!! I just HATE it when I trick myself that way! {{{hugs}}}
    I'm sometimes asked "Why do you spend so much of your time and money talking about kindness to animals when there is so much cruelty to men?" I answer: "I am working at the roots." -George T. Angell, reformer (1823-1909)



    Thank you, Popcornbird for creating this tribute to Summer starring Livvy and Cassy

    Livvy: 11 April 99 - 5 July 09
    Cassy: 11 July 99 - 8 April 11

    If you would like to visit my BeautiConsultant page --
    http://www.beautipage.com/serene_angel_hm_spa/

  12. #12
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    I won't tell how I did. My excuse is that I was reading it fast at work.
    Scott is owned by 5 cats: Jackson, Fluffy, Twidgit, Ashton, Lexi;
    and 3 dogs: Eli, Sassee, Ginger

    Fuzzy317's Pictures

  13. #13
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    ME TOO!! I SAID MILK!

    I've got a cold and THAT is my excuse!!! I was so determined not to say Silk!!

    Thanks for the laugh AmberLee - cheered my morning up no end.



    Lynne

  14. #14
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    Boy I hate to admit this, but I only got 2 right!!!! The green house and the survivors. I get so suckered in to what they want you to say wrong.
    DUH !!!!!!
    .

  15. #15
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    But I continued anyway because baby cows drink milk
    I thought I got it wrong it wrong too but then a I read your post! I guess we were all right on the cow one! LOL I too was trying not say silk so I said milk.

    I said windows on the greenhouse one, is that still ok!

    Great trick!
    Soar high & free my sweet fur angels. I love you Nanook & Raustyk... forever & ever.


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