The power of words

**Medusa** · 05-31-2009, 08:52 AM

Blue's thread "Seriously..." got me to thinking about the power of words. This morning I watched a story about a 6 year old boy who had a "fauxhawk", which I guess is not quite a mohawk hairstyle, and the school disapproved, so much so that they told the boy's parents about it. The parents then gave their son a flat top but that still didn't satisfy the school, so they took matters into their own hands and shaved the boy's head. Apparently, his father told them to "do as you see fit". Why a parent would say that to anyone regarding their children is unfathomable to me. I realize that the father was probably doing his best to comply w/the school's wishes but IMO it would've been better had he asked the school "Exactly what is it that disturbs you about his hairstyle and how would you like to see it resolved?" This really demonstrates to me how important it is to think before speaking, especially when it affects others and, most importantly, our children.

**pomtzu** · 05-31-2009, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by Medusa

Blue's thread "Seriously..." got me to thinking about the power of words.
This really demonstrates to me how important it is to think before speaking, especially when it affects others and, most importantly, our children.

Good point Mary. Too many of us (and I'm guilty at times too), spout off without putting much thought in what we're saying, and how it will affect those that read it. I too, think that the adults that are guilty of this, forget sometimes that there are children that are members of this forum and visitors as well. What kind of message is this sending to them? Certainly not one of peaceful reasoning. Debates are healthy, but name calling and being ignorant and/or abusive, is not healthy or productive. Do we really want that to be something for the children to emulate?

**Medusa** · 05-31-2009, 09:47 AM

I think we've all probably done it, Ellie, myself included and I'm not pointing a finger at anyone in particular. Actually, I was speaking more of this boy and how his parents abdicated their authority and gave the school carte blanche to "do as they see fit" w/him in regards to his hairstyle. Those words left the field wide open, as I see it, and now they're complaining that the school had no right to cut his hair but w/their words they gave them permission. However, point taken regarding posts on Pet Talk and other forums as well.

**aTailOf2Kitties** · 05-31-2009, 10:13 AM

I can't believe anyone would have an issue with a fauxhawk, and especially with a flat-top. Don't most little boys have a buzz-cut at some point?

**pomtzu** · 05-31-2009, 10:31 AM

Oops - missed your point Mary, You're right of course - the father missed the boat on that one and should have thought that one out before speaking. I can't imagine a parent taking that kind of attitude tho, when it comes to their kids. I'm sure he was fed up with the school, but come on.....

**Medusa** · 05-31-2009, 10:51 AM

It's a matter of control, wanting him to conform to their standards. I mean, can you imagine having your son come home from school w/his head shaved and he tells you that the school did it??? My (then) husband got my son a buzz cut when he was just 2 years old w/out consulting me and when I saw it, I cried. He looked adorable but he'd had such beautiful curls and that wasn't the point. My husband should've asked for my opinion before he did it. So if the school ever did anything like this to my son, well, my reaction wouldn't have been pleasant, I can assure you.

When my son was in grade school, he had a teacher who often smacked him across the knuckles because she didn't like the way he held his pen. I asked her "Can you read his writing? Apparently you can because he's gotten all A's in penmanship. DO NOT physically discipline my son again. If you have a problem w/him, consult w/me." His kindergarten teacher tried to get him to do an art project over because he painted a house purple because, according to her, houses aren't purple. I said "Maybe your house isn't purple but ours is". She said "On the outside?" I said "No, on the inside but he didn't know how to paint the inside of the drawing. Besides, is that the point? Art is subjective. He should be able to express himself w/abandon in art class". On the whole, he had some pretty good teachers throughout his education and this certainly isn't meant as an indictment of teachers. My lifelong friend is a teacher and I'm aware of the heavy responsibility that they shoulder. But they need to know their place and not cross that line of taking over the responsibility of parenting our kids.