Feeling guilty

[TommyCat]

Hi,
I am so sad over the loss of my 16 year old cat to lymphoma. What I am heartsick over is what happened when I took him in for a Senior Exam because he was drinking a lot of water. He was feeling fine and showing no symptoms, except for drinking more water than usual. It had been a year since his last exam, and because of his age, I wanted a blood panel and urine test to see if he was okay. My cat was always extremely aggressive and frightened at the Vet's, so she sedated him with a gas anesthesia. I'm told it's a gas sedation box. She gave him a Rabies shot before examining him. Once she examined him, she felt a mass in his intestinal area and then did a needle aspiration to try and get a tissue sample for biopsy. She told me she accidentally got some bacteria from my cat's bowels mixed in with the tissue sample, and she was afraid it may have caused an infection. She then gave him two antibiotic injections to ward off a possible infection. When I went to pick him up an hour later from the time I dropped him off, the Vet Tech told me my kitty was not ready as he was shaking and cold, and they had his under a heater to warm him up. So when I came back the second time, (an hour later) the Vet told me what happened and that she felt a mass and suspected a tumor (cancerous). She wanted me to bring him back in the next day for an ultrasound whereby he would be anesthetized again with the gas sedation box. Well, when I got him home, he was deathly sick and would not eat or drink water. I was shocked at how bad and sick he looked once I got him home. He wouldn't eat/drink water. I called back numerous times asking many questions of the Vet as what caused him to be so sick. He never fully recovered and seemed traumatized as well as deathly sick. I thought it may have been a reaction to the anesthesia or the needle aspiration causing an infection. She couldn't give me any clear cut answers but did send in the slide she had and it showed an abscess inside the tumor. I eventually got him to a Specialty Hospital where he was treated and lived for seven months. The ultrasound and biopsy showed lymphoma.

I am feeling so guilty and saddened for not insisting on no sedation. I feel like I let him down. He was 16, and I just worried the sedation wasn't good for a cat that age. I asked her if she could examine him without sedation, and she said no because he started growling at the Vet Tech. she insisted this sedation was safe. She was worried about getting bitten/scratched and didn't want any of her Vet techs scratched. I guess I am still searching for answers as to what may have caused him to come home so sick when he was feeling fine when I took dropped him off at the vet. could it have been the combination of all of the above?

[aTailOf2Kitties]

Do not feel guilty. Honestly if he had not been sedated they may have not been able to find the mass, especially if he was wiggly or aggressive. The mass may have also been painful to manipulate. Sometimes it is better to knock them out completely and do a thorough examination. The gas anesthesia is a little quicker to recover from as opposed to injection, and there is less risk of getting scratched or bitten by a frightened feline. Some cats wake up quickly and are perfectly fine, while others take it a little rougher. It is difficult to predict how any given cat will react, but it usually makes them a little nauseous afterward. he was probably sick from the anesthesia but sometimes stress or fear adds to the adrenaline. My old cat used to vomit and poop everywhere and then hide after sedation even though I hadn't fed him since the night before.

Please do not beat yourself up over this. 16 years is a good long life for a cat. Some don't make it that near that long. You realized he had a problem and once you discovered what it was, you got to enjoy him a full 7 months longer. Now that he is gone, the what-if's and woulda-coulda-shoulda's will drive you mad, but you have to let them go, as there are never any satisfactory answers. Just rest in the fact that he is no longer suffering and that you got to enjoy his company and love as long as you did.

RIP TommyCat's kitty

[Medusa]

I wish I had an answer that would satisfy you but I don't. I will say this, though: one of my cats is now close to 20 years old and she was sedated at age 18 for something rather minor at that time and I was nervous about it. Yes, we always worry when we need to have our furkids sedated, especially when they're older, but it's sometimes necessary. You did what you felt you had to do for the health and welfare of your cat. Cats normally wake up more quickly from sedation rather than from anesthesia. You had 7 more months w/your cat that you wouldn't have had otherwise. Try not to feel guilty, although I do understand. I still carry guilt about other things where my cats are concerned because hindsight is always 20/20. You did your best for your cat and that's all that any of us can do. Your kitty is resting at the Rainbow Bridge now and then he'll romp and play like a kitten again. Until then, RIP, little one and peace to you, TommyCat.

[TommyCat]

Thank you "a Tail of 2 Kitties",
Your kitties are beautiful. Thanks for your reply. It all makes a lot of sense. Yes, the Vet did say that she handled the mass and manipulated, and this may have also caused him pain and feeling sick. I just worried that all that happened that exam may have jump started or progressed his disease much more rapidly. I know I have to let him go. It's been three months since he crossed the RB. Thanks you so much for your words of advice.

[TommyCat]

Thank you Medusa,
Yes, the gas sedation worried me with his age. Yes, you're right as I did have 7 more months to enjoy him. He had excellent care with an Internal Medicine Vet and was monitored closely. The Vet kiddingly said he survived those 7 months because of his feisty temperment and not wanting to give up. I guess there are always things we wished we could have done better when it comes to our furbabies. I know so much more now since I've gone thru this with Tommy. I have another kitty (Maggie), and she cooperates with the vets and will practically let them do anything. Thanks for your kind words and advice. I believe we will be reunited with our pets some day.