Starting Over

[NicoleLJ]

I know I have not been on much. And I know my mood has been up and down when I have been on and I apologize for that. What people donèt know is that I have been living in a life of domestic violience for the past 6 years and I am finally admitting it to myself and trying to come to terms with it and get help. My husband has been charged twice and has been to jail for 2 weeks and is going back today for breaking probation.

I worked so hard on hiding what was going on. I wanted everyone to think everyone to think everything was fine so no one looked badly on me or my family or kids. Now I see that all I did was enable him to continue to do what he was doing to me.

Now I have to start over and it is terrifying. Not the fact of being without him, that part is peaceful. The part that is terrifying is knowing that I now have to be a single parent to 3 kids, be responsible for everything myself. I can do it. But I am terrified about doing it.

Now you all know my terrible secret. I will understand now if you will continue to ignore me. I just could not hold it in any longer.

[Husky_mom]

I´ve never ignored you nor I ever will... I´m sorry for what you went through... and not being "able" to get it out of your chest... glady you did now... changes are terrifying and even more a change like this... but it really was for the best.. you do not deserved any of that....

please know you have a shoulder in me to lean on....

[Karen]

Be sure to work with social services, and get all the support you need. Do not be afraid to ask them for help - your situation is what they are there for. Congratulations on deciding to end the cycle, now concentrate on getting yourself and your kids to a better place mentally and physically.

[pomtzu]

Now you all know my terrible secret. I will understand now if you will continue to ignore me. I just could not hold it in any longer.

OMG - why would you possibly think that anyone here at PT would ignore you? YOU have done nothing wrong - unless trying to keep your family together is considered wrong. Now that you've made the decision to break from this relationship, please follow thru with it. Don't let your husband sweet talk you in to letting him back in to your life - it will only be more of the same - and one day he could seriously hurt you or the children - or worse!!! There are agencies everywhere that can help you with this transition - please seek them out and if family is available - seek their help also. Please be safe, and keep us posted. There's always someone here to talk to if you feel the need. Good luck - and please stay safe!!!

[NicoleLJ]

I am in domestic violience therapy and will be seeing a psychatrist in December. Plus I will be going to some domesic Volience Womens groups starting this month also. So I hope that helps too. Thanks so much for your support. THe hard part is when I am home with no one to talk to. THats where I hope I can turn to my internet friends. Which is why my therapist urgered me to open up about what was happening when I was ready.

[Karen]

As well as talking to us - you know we always like pictures of your dogs, are you keeping any kind of a journal, offline? That can be helpful, too, as "someone to talk to" when you have a quiet moment.

[Medusa]

I can't imagine that anyone would ignore you; I know that I surely won't. You're one brave woman to not only share what you've been through but to step up to the plate and admit that it's a scary ride going it alone when raising kids. You're already on the right track, going to counseling, etc., and believe it or not, it will get easier as time goes by. You'll probably make new friends and you can count on your PT family to pick up the slack. If ever you feel that you're alone, look at your kids, look into their eyes and you'll see what a team you are. Many prayers are going up for you and your precious children.

[joycenalex]

((hugs)) for you. you are brave and no one with one drop of sense would look at you or your kids badly. you all haven't done one thing wrong. talk to us, we're here for and with you.

[Taz_Zoee]

Yeah, what everyone else said! I am one that will not be ignoring you. I look forward to seeing pictures of your dogs and cats.
I was watching It's Me Or The Dog the other day and I saw a white GSD and thought of you, Sheena and Ajax.

You can (and will) get through this rough time. Hang in there!

[Catty1]

Wow. You are a strong and brave woman, Nicole, to post that here. I am glad you felt ready and are getting a lot of help.

I am here for you too.

{{{{hugs}}}}

[ramanth]

*HUGS* for you and your kids. You are very brave to finally leave him and open up about it. I commend you. Best of luck in your new chapter of your life.

[Alysser]

I am sorry to hear this has been happening but I'm glad you have the courage to leave. No one would ignore. Please stay strong for your children and pets!! (hugs)

[Daisy and Delilah]

Pet Talk is one of the best places in the world to come to for support. I would never ignore you and I hope nobody else would. I am so sorry you've been enduring such misery. I know what it's like.

Congratulations for coming forward with this terrible situation. You've made the first big step and it's a huge one. I agree with Ellie. Don't let your husband back into your life with sweet talk or anything else. You are a valuable person and you deserve alot better. No one deserves to be abused by another person. Physically or emotionally. I repeat, no one.

Best wishes for a brighter future. We're here for you, sweetie. You've got a whole community of caring, loving people here.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Let me add: Once you get out and talk to other ladies in the same situation, via support groups, etc, you'll feel better. It will give you a whole new outlook on life. Being alone can make you very vulnerable so stay strong. Think of the great life you have ahead for you, your children, and your pets.

[anna_66]

Nicole, you have my support. And I for one would never ignore you.

Not many women have the guts to get out of a bad situation like that and I commend you for it.
The road ahead will be long and hard, but you have many friends here you can turn to.

(((HUGS)))
Anna

[DJFyrewolf36]

*HUG* breaking the cycle is the first step (and the most important I think). If talking about your situation helps, by all means talk! No one will look badly on you for being human .