New kitty....and angry cat resident.

[fosteraussie]

Help!

I took in a stray "temporarily" in early March. To this day, I cannot understand why he was abandoned (he had been outside for awhile and was extremely starved and beat up). This cat is a grey tabby, estaminated 2 yrs. old, nuetered, and very tame. He is affectionate and docile when held, but will lash out if afraid and will only sit next to you (as opposed to on your lap).

The problem?

My cat hates him! It has been months and she still thinks he is a punching bag. A little history on her: Amber is a three year old rescue. That is, she was abandoned as the runt from a feral litter and taken in by us at 1.5 pounds (approx. 4 weeks). She has been pampered and is the most affectionate cat I have ever had. Amber is spayed. She is intrigued by all animals EXCEPT cats. I mean, she never hisses unless another cat is present.

We also have an aussie (2 years old) who Amber adores. He and the grey cat have reached a tolerant understanding (Foster knows not to mess with him and does not dare enter his boundaries). The grey cat is not agressive. In fact, he is extremely submissive, but will fight if threatened. He is VERY tense around other animals, but a purring mush around humans he knows. At least, he has taken it upon himself to approach Foster and purr with him too (but it only works when he approaches Foster!). The grey cat's behavior lead me to believe he has been abused or got into some nasty battles when he was abandoned with other animals.

I have tried everything to get Amber and the grey cat to behave together. During the day and night, they are separated. If they are given more than the afternoon and evening together, a fight occurs 25% of the times. Sometimes, they sleep in the same area together. Sometimes not. After a few months, I have worked it out with them that they can share a litter box together and tolerate each other in the kitchen (the feeding room). They will eat in the same room. However, he knows better than to be in the bedroom on his own (without us) as it is her prime territory, and she knows that she is not allowed in the bathroom (even though she dashes in often to give him a wallop).

I did try a trick today with feeding. I placed the dishes about 5 inches apart with wet food. The porkers both dashed to the dishes and ignored each other. Amber even allowed the grey cat to sniff her ear for 1 sec.

Is it possible for these two to ever get along? Or am I blindly dreaming since it has been over 6 months?

Of course, I really do need to find him a home (BADLY) as I should not have him to begin with.

[lynnestankard]

hello fosteraussie - i bet the whole trouble is because amber is a girl! female cats are atrocious at accepting other cats - usually other females. she obviously gets on with your other cat - so she may get used to the new one. it's sometimes a very long drawn out business. separating them for sometime can often work too. you'll probably get lots of good advice later on. when our usa pettalkers are up and about! i'd say hang in there - he sounds a lovely furboy who deserves your love.
lynne

[fosteraussie]

Thanks for the tips. Yeah, I figured it was a female cat thing. However, Foster is an Australian Shepherd and he is 50 pounds!

Could it be that the grey cat is larger than Amber
?

[NoahsMommy]

I agree that it is a female thing. We just got a new kitten last weekend and our girl kitty still wont go too close to him without hissing. It's a girl thing.

Can you separate them??

I've heard of people rubbing catnip on both cats, that way, they wont smell "another cat" smell and wont be too upset. Maybe you could try that?

You do need to give your girl kitty lots and lots of attention, that way she wont feel too much competition with the new cat.

Hope this helps a bit.

[fosteraussie]

It has really become more than a female thing, I think. Amber is spoiled! She does not like to play that much, but she gets all the lounging love she could want. Everyday, she gets a good hour(the rare minmum) nap on my lap, tons of petting, prime sleeping spots. She sleeps with us during the night and gets feed promptly in the morning and in the evening. She is very prissy and cries by the door when I walk Foster and fumes when she sees the grey cat get any attention what so ever!

I am so confused because she is so sweet to us. She even sleeps with Foster (the dog). Often, at night, I will wake up to see my Fiance, Foster, and Amber all pressed together without any thought. Amber treats Foster like a cat (it really affected his puppy behavior!).

I really thought that after 6 months she would take to this cat. He is sooo sweet!

[momoffuzzyfaces]

It's more of a 'turf war' I think. I went through the same thing with a cat, Lucy. She had always been an only cat. When she was 5, I got Leroy. I had never heard a cat growl in their throat the way she did. She wasn't growling at him but me. She was so mad. They eventually got so they would tolerate each other but were never buddies. I went through the same thing when I got Luke and Chester. It wasn't Lucy this time, she had gone to the Rainbow bridge. Leonardo is the ruler of the roost now. He doesn't let the others forget it either. He still swats the others from time to time just to let them know he is boss. He especially likes to stalk Chester because he is the youngest. They are getting along better now that Chester is 2. Chester never fights back, he just walks away from Leonardo. Leroy, Luke, and Chester all get along fine, it's just Leonardo who tries to be a bully.
I guess to sum it up, they will probably learn to tolerate each other but may never be 'best buds', but that will be ok. Good luck.