Don't get me wrong, I had a great time at my cousin's house at Thanksgiving.

It was fabulous. I spent it with my daughter, my cousins and their kids.

There's a however in here though. It has to do with my depression. I always have a great time with my cousins and their families. But when I leave, I sink into a depressive crying jag. It's the envy of them having what I don't. Each other. The three of them are so close, they go on vacations together, spend every holiday together and are just there for each other anytime, anywhere.

I have a brother who is 5 years older than me and lives out in NC. I only see him at weddings and funerals in the family. We were never really close, but he's still my brother and I love and miss him terribly. I sent him an email and also called him (he wasn't there) and told him I loved and missed him and hoped he had a great holiday. He sent an email back, very cut and dry and didn't even say he loved me.

So today I'm sitting here crying like a baby. I do have so much to be greatful for, don't get me wrong. But it's that one elusive thing, the bond and closeness siblings have that has my depression and emotions out of whack.

To make matters worse, I've gotta work tonight BLACK FRIDAY. Maybe it's a good thing. It'll help me forget, I don't know.

That's all guys. Thanks for listening. Now I gotta go figure out how to get the severe redness and puffiness from my eyes before I face my fans at the store.