What would you do?

[CagneyDog]

Hey everyone, I know I haven't posted here in furever, but I really need some advice.

I've been having a lot of trouble in school lately. Actually, the past three or four years have just sucked for me when it came to school, but especially now.

I've been suspended for three days for a fairly petty reason and I will be returning to school on Monday. My parents and I have to go into the school and meet with the principle and board of...whomever... to discuss my readmittance etc. Now, I have a 40 average currently. I'm not motivated and I've basically just really messed up. The deal with coming back to school after the suspension is that there's a 0 tolerance policy. One more trip down to the office and I'm expelled. I"m in grade 11, the chances of me not getting in trouble in the next two years are slim to none.

Here are my options
a) I return to school, try to get my marks up, and hope to god I don't get in sh!t one more time because if I do I'm expelled.
b) I take a year off, work, and then go back to school.
c) I stop going to school and take online courses.

All I keep thinking is that it's better for me to drop out than get expelled and at this point getting expelled looks inevitable. But I also love the people in my school and I really don't want to leave. I just can't motivate myself. It doesn't even make sense to me anymore. I just...can't and I don't understand why. The whole school situation just hasn't worked out for me. If I stay, I'm scared I'll just continue doing badly and then i'm just wasting my time. If I could find some motivation I KNOW that i'm smart..but geez, i dno if i can.
If you were me, and you had this much at stake, what would you do? Which option would be better?

[Catty1]

It is very possible that you are dealing with something like ADD, depression (it doesn't mean 'sad', but total lack of motivation is a big symptom), or even some learning challenge you were born with.

This has nothing to do with brains! You can have tons of brain, and still not do well.

Are you unmotivated because you can't follow what is going on, and just gave up? Should you maybe be in a more vocational school where you can be "doing" something and learning at the same time, hands-on stuff?

Actually, it might even go easier on you with the parents and the principal if you do some testing. It's all on paper, no blood tests!

Which reminds me - when was the last time you had a good checkup?

Just look at other possibilities - you may have been fighting an uphill battle that has nothing to do with you.

HUGS!

[Miss Z]

I know how pressure at school can suddenly collapse onto you. I have experienced certain periods in my school life in which the daunting prospect of exam failure or friendships on the rocks has caved in on my conscience, at as a result, my grades dipped below my personal standards. Thankfully, it has yet to wind me up in trouble, but I can empathise with your lines of thinking, at least.

Sometimes I think it can be a lot to do with age. This period in our lives, which ultimately shapes the rest of it career-wise and socially, is so focused on achievement, and yet ironically is also the supposed 'great age' of having fun and relishing one's growing independence. The emotions experienced from one day to the next as an adolescent can be confusing to say the least.

I know from personal experience that goings-on at home reflect my school behaviour more strongly than something that actually happens in school itself. Of course, I do not know your family relationship situation, but I thought it may be worth a mention.

My advice would be to get your head down, and stay at school. Perhaps, if there is a teacher that you particularly like and would feel at ease talking to on a personal level, arrange to have talks after school or during breaks about how everything's going. It may sound pointless, but it is a real help. Not to go into too much detail here, but I have a friend who had quite a serious emotional problem that stemmed from family and friend relationships and fear of under-achievement. A group of friends and myself organised with a teacher we trusted to have one-to-one chats with him, and it helped wonders. This friend still occasionally has issues, yet he is far more positive and motivated than he ever was before hand.

I wish you the best of luck. ((hugs))

[CagneyDog]

It is very possible that you are dealing with something like ADD, depression (it doesn't mean 'sad', but total lack of motivation is a big symptom), or even some learning challenge you were born with.
Which reminds me - when was the last time you had a good checkup?

Just look at other possibilities - you may have been fighting an uphill battle that has nothing to do with you.

HUGS!

I actually have been wondering about this. However, I'm only unmotivated when it comes to things that I rather not do. Ie: school. I'm not unmotivated to get out of bed every day, or do fun things that I enjoy. So maybe it's not depression? I just can't imagine how everyone could possibely be experiencing the same level of unmotivation that I am and still succeed. How do they test for something like this?

Last good check up..forever. Once we find a decent doctor I will have one soon though.

Miss Z - my marks do go up and down according to what is happening in my life in general. I don't really trust anyone that easily and something about talking to the teachers in my school embarresses me. Although that is an extremely good idea. I do agree, staying in school is the best choice. However, online school is just as succesful, as a matter of fact a lot of the highly academic kids do some classes online in order to do the stuff they can't fit into their time table. I just feel like traditional schooling isn't working for me and that I need to try something different. However, what if that doesn't work either. Then what? I'm just really confused about this...

[Catty1]

Well, when you and your folks and the principal meet, that would be a good time to look at options.

Maybe the principal can recommend a good doctor.

Offer to go through some testing, say you are willing. That will also show that you want to solve this problem. All these tests are done on paper - and there are some very good tests that can help pinpoint a challenge.

Go into this with the idea that all of you are a team wanting to find an answer.

I can certainly see not wanting to go to school if you have trust problems. This may be an area you can ask for help with...because it will carry on into your life beyond school as well. A good time to work on it is now.

Take care!

[Karen]

I'd speak with a counselor at school, perhaps - if there's one you can trust, and see if there's a compromise you can make, like maybe attending class for just the morning, then doing the rest of the work online. Or talk about doing classes online for the rest of the term if that's an option. Are there any charter schools in your area that take a different approach that might suit you better?