Driving in L.A. - Most of this is TRUE!!

[gini]

Subject: What to Know Before You Drive In L.A.



1. You must first learn to pronounce the city's name; it is L A, with accent on the second syllable: (el AY).

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00pm. EXCEPTION: Friday's rush hour starts late morning on Thursday.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85mph. On the 105 or 110, match your speed to the highway number. Anything less is considered "wussy."

4. Forget traffic rules you learned elsewhere. L A has its own version For example,at a four-way stop the car or truck with the loudest muffler goes first; those with the biggest tires go second. EXCEPTION in Malibu, all SUV-driving, cell phone-talking Moms ALWAYS have right-of-way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot and not necessarily in that order.

6. Never honk loudly at anyone. Ever!... Seriously! Or you might be looking down the muzzle of someone's handy highway helper.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous throughout L A and Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubberneckers, shredded tires, cell phoners, deer and other road kill, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. MapQuest does not work here. None of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do, and all the freeway off-ramps and on-ramps are relocated each night.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. "If" you return the flip, you "might" be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time. Just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments; by noon Thursday for Friday appointments; and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.

Happy Travels.. DRIVE Safely.. Wherever Your Travels Take You.. and Please Keep Your Hands on the Steering Wheel..

[Randi]

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous throughout L A and Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

9. MapQuest does not work here. None of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do, and all the freeway off-ramps and on-ramps are relocated each night.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time. Just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments; by noon Thursday for Friday appointments; and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning

Ahh, now I understand why we had to leave when we did to collect Karen (KK) in the airport, and when we visited you. Sara and Don did a real good job getting there in time! And I was very impressed with your driving in downtown LA, Gini!

[Edwina's Secretary]

I could add to the "treats" of driving in LA.

The exit/entry ramp may be on the left or it may be on the right. Be prepared to lane dash!

Furniture is a frequent road ornament. I have seen futons, chairs, highchair, refrigerators, and ladders, ladders, ladders. As one traffic reporters said..."Haven't these people ever heard of ROPE?"

and remember...This is the very important LA.....roads are not 5 or Interstate 10....it is The 5...The 10.

[gini]

I was driving on THE 10 the other day and first I saw the futon - then I saw a sheet - and another sheet - and then the mattress pad - and finally the pillows.

And you just know the people will report them "stolen" when they get to their destination.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Thanks for the tips, Gini. We hit California a few days ago, but have only been "Up North" so far, where the drivers are still relatively sane.

We're in Fortuna for two days, then headed for Calistoga for two weeks, then down el AY way for a few weeks before heading back to Arizona for the winter. Will let everyone know when and where we are when we hit el AY, but in the meantime, I believe we'll be taking THE 101 from Fortuna to Calistoga.

I'm going to forward these tips to Terry so he knows what to look out for.

Oh, and one more you could add that I noticed the few times we've been in the el AY area: EVERY taffic light can be considered a christmas tree (as in drag racing). The second the light turns green, you MUST floor it or the person next to you will get to the next light before you do....heaven forbid! Fortunately being in the motorhome disqualifies us from this rule.

[Laura's Babies]

I hope I never have to find out how much of that is true! YIKES!

[BC_MoM]

I swear to God, when I was in L.A. last summer, I was praying for my life... the driving is HORRIBLE. EVERYONE IS HORRIBLE. I don't know how they manage to keep the population plentiful.

[pnance]

you forgot if you come to a stop sign you slow down to acknowledge you saw it, but whatever you do don't actually stop...no one will know what your doing....

[CathyBogart]

*Shudder* The only place worse than LA is San Francisco....and it's pretty bloody close!