Bear

[crow_noir]

OK, i don't have permission or anything to be posting this, but my heart feels like it is going to burst if i don't talk to someone. Therefore the only name or specific posted in this will be the dog's name. If asked, i WILL remove this thread. Please respect staying mum on specifics if you do know the situation i'm talking about.

OK, now that I'm done with that little disclaimer, onward to the post.

A PTer got into a sad sticky situation and a dog (not theirs) was lost to the rest of us. Part of the agreement to the PTer getting a life line was for them to forget about Bear. Well, that stipulation doesn't apply to the rest of us PTers (And i would have done everything in my power to help save this dog. I would have contacted everyone i know to put out an SOS. All i would haved needed was the go ahead. )

My heart has been breaking and i think about Bear almost every single day. I don't know why or how this dog weaseled it's way into my heart, but this special Rott has.

Last night i was posting stuff online when all of a sudden the image of this dog popped into my head and would NOT go away. I had a very hard time concentrating on anything else all night. I had a very bad feeling and I'm hoping it was nothing, but i felt like bawling my eyes out. I feel the same today. (But I'm so very very tired and my body hurts. It's definitely not one of my better weeks. I think I would be bawling my eyes out if i wasn't so exhausted.) The feeling was different today, not in a good way either.

It's just so weird dealing with these emotions in this unique situation.

If you don't want to post here go ahead and and email me at adopt_koli*AT*yahoo*DOT*com Put in the subject line To: Crow re: Bear (or use the email link in my profile... but it might take me a couple days to get to you at that email ...since no one ever emails me anymore i forget to check it sometimes.)

[AdoreMyDogs]

I have no idea what you're talking about specifically, but I have had the same emotional connection to certain animals that I had never met. Animals that i felt so bad for, and that I tried helping with but the owners were unwilling. I tried so hard to adopt this dove that a lady was going to have PTS because she didn't want to rehome it into a bad home. One evening (and mind you, I was only 16 years old at the time and she was between 55 and 60 years old) I talked to her for almost 5 hours on the telephone trying to convince her that I was a very responsible person. That I loved my animals and took wonderful care of them. I offered her to come to my moms house and see the condition of my animals, and see how much I loved them and how well taken care of they were. I told her the first thing I will do is get a huge cage for the bird and it will love it. I exhausted myself trying to get on her good side so she wouldn't needlessly euthanize this bird just because she didn't want it going into a bad home. I was a good kid. A very sensitive, responsible kid. In the end, I wasted nearly 5 hours on the phone with this woman, and she ultimately put the bird to sleep because she was too stuborn and stupid to at least try, for the animals' sake. I still think about this bird and that was around 16 years ago.

You had better keep posting here, you're a wonderful person and I completely enjoy every single post you make!

[AdoreMyDogs]

OK, yeah I know what you're talking about now. It does hurt me also. I understand your pain and I wish it wern't so. I wish the situation didn't end like that

(((hugs)))

[crow_noir]

Thank you AMD for your kind words.

So very sorry about that dove. At least you tried and tried very hard. Some people just can not be persuaded. (I lived with one of those. It was about as useful as talking to a box filled with outer space. ...A brick wall has more sensitivity. ;-/ )

[crow_noir]

Just in case anyone was wondering... Regarding Bear I'm feeling better today. Almost serene. (Kind of creeping me out. Like i couldn't worry if i wanted to.)

Still on my mind though of course.

Driving me insane that i know nothing and probably never will.

Last night i was posting stuff online when all of a sudden the image of this dog popped into my head and would NOT go away. I had a very hard time concentrating on anything else all night. I had a very bad feeling and I'm hoping it was nothing, but i felt like bawling my eyes out. I feel the same today. (But I'm so very very tired and my body hurts. It's definitely not one of my better weeks. I think I would be bawling my eyes out if i wasn't so exhausted.) The feeling was different today, not in a good way either.