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Thread: Police comments.............

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    8,166

    Police comments.............

    These 16 Police Comments were supposedly taken off actual police car videos around the country:

    #16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

    #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight cause they're new they'll stretch after you wear them a while."

    # 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

    #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

    #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey crap."

    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

    #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

    #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

    #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

    #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

    AND THE WINNER IS...

    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.... Sign here."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Ploss's Halfway House for Homeless Cats
    Posts
    18,311
    Oh Wom,

    You've succeded in making me laugh yet again, without my first cup of coffee of the day.

    BTW, #8 was my favorite.

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Cincinnati, Ohio USA
    Posts
    11,467
    I am forwarding that on to the municipality we represent.

  4. #4
    Oh my cop friends are getting this. Wom you are always a day brightener. You dear, sweet man.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
    #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
    HAHAHAHAH!!

    I use to say that type of thing when I was the Postal Manager
    It was my fav line & I was a smart butt about it too (only to the nasty customers of cours!!)...

    Cus.: I want to speek to the postal supervisor!
    Me: Hello
    Cus.: Fine, I want to talk to the postal manager!
    Me: Hello again
    Cus.: I want to talk to the store manager then!!
    me: Ok
    Store manager: You have to talk to her, I have nothing to do with the post office, shes always right & knows her stuff to a T.
    Me: Hello
    Cus.: ^&$%#^*^%$#

    HAHAHAHAHA!!

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