Free to good home - one mother in law

[jazzcat]

She's house broken but her manners leave a lot to be desired.

Today we got together with Richard's family at his sister's house for a 4th of July cookout. We were all sitting around the table eating our burgers and my Mother in law and a brother in law started talking about his weight loss and how he probably just gained 4 pounds with all the food he ate. My MIL said "you have to be careful because it comes back quickly, isn't that right Lori?" I wasn't in the conversation, I was at the other end of the table when she said that to me. Yes, I have gained back about 10 pounds of the weight I lost (and it's just been since my surgery last fall) but I really don't need her to point that out to everyone.

She does that kind of thing to me all the time. She makes comments about my hair color, weight and number of cats all the time. I'm sure she thinks she's being cute but she also knows she's being a "B" and it's meant to hurt. By the way, she really has no room to make weight or hair color comments.

What gets me with this latest zinger is that everyone at that table has weight issues and have all lost and gained over the years yet she chose me - her only daughter in law - to slam. Thanks Mommy in Law Dearest!

[K9karen]

Humpf! She needs to have a few Martha Stewart lessons in decorum! How rude! They say no reaction is the best reaction.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Lori, I'm sorry to hear this. Please try not to let it get to you because I'm sure that's what she wants to see. I know it's easier said than done. I'm lucky that I don't have to deal with any mother in laws.

[shais_mom]

what a oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh

[DJFyrewolf36]

I feel your pain...my MIL, while having the capacity of being a very nice lady, sometimes will say the meanest things to both myself and my husband. It gets annoying, but Ive noticed that not reacting usually gets her to shut her trap

[G535]

Smile, agree with everything she says then go and do what you like, works every time!

[chocolatepuppy]

My MIL ,who is gone now, used to do the same to me, pick, pick, pick. Finally I told her off! My hubby stood behind me on that. After that she showed me some respect and we got along fine.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

I've got one of those too! Often wish I had a direct line to St George....................................

[Pam]

That was just mean. It was probably best that you weren't sitting right there when she made the statement or you would have had to bite your tongue to the point of making it bleed.

Years ago I was eating at my MIL's house. Hubby and I had been married only a short time. He was in the military and I was a secretary and, for the only time in our married life, I was bringing in more money than he was. Anyway...... his sister was graduating from high school and didn't want to go to college. My FIL asked her what she was planning on doing for a living. She replied "I want to be a secretary" at which point my FIL sort of did one of these and said "oh boy, be anything but a secretary." Believe me, I wanted to blurt out that my poor pitiful secretary's wages were helping to put food into his son's mouth. You know it was a silly thing but I have never forgotten that over the years. How totally insensitive some people are.

[sasvermont]

Oh gosh. This happens so often. My Mother is queen of insults...I could make a list that would make your head spin.

My take on this is that it is best to take the high road and not respond. Sometimes I do get caught up in it all and respond. I usually say things such as: Well, that surely hurt MY feelings, thank you very much....or Gee, she doesn't say mean things about you........or That doesn't make him/her a bad person......and then there is the return insult favorite of mine to my Mother.........So who asked you? ...... That usually shuts her up.

In general, people who need to insult another in an ordinary conversation, have self esteem problems and it makes them feel better than the others if the belittle someone else. I think we all stoop to that level once in awhile.

I could come up with many more scarcastic responses that would only add insult to injury, and serve no purpose except to entertain. I am not proud of the list, but hey, it is fun someones to respond in the same fashion.

Take the high road deary, and change the subject....move on, get over it.....don't stoop to her level. The fact that you are sensitive to the comments already makes you at the top of the heap of humanity.

[jackmilliesmom]

You don't need a mother-in-law for that in my own home my mother is the biggest offender I am her only daughter and she favours my brother's wife over me my hubby is really ticked off every time we visit and on the last visit she really hurt me with something she said and my hubby said this


"Right Jo lets go if she wants you she knows where to find you and to be honest after sitting through the last half an hour she sounds like she does not want you or need you"

While saying all of this he looked at me we gathered up our things and left that was 2 weeks ago have not heard from her since!!!!!!!!!!!

[catnapper]

Ah, yes, the backhanded Mother-In-Law. Thankfully my MIL wasn't like that but I've known PLENTY of people like that in my life.

The worst offender was my grandmom. Oh how she could cut through you with a simple comment. I refused to see her for the last 2 or 3 years of her life because I wasn't going to sit politely while she dug knives into my back. Unlike the rest of my family I argued back to her and she just didn't understand why I didn't shut and and take it like the rest of the family.

The other group of people who feel free to comment is my coworkers. I've worked at 3 places since getting heavy and all 3 places felt it was in their rights to comment on my weight. The other day at work, a coworker wanted to show me something upstairs. I we were standing near the elevator so I started towards it. He said "no, you need the exercise. Take the stairs." WHAT?!?! I usually take the stairs 4/5 times. Then we were upstairs and he commented AGAIN about how I needed to exercise more. I challenged him to a 1 mile speed walk and letss see who crossed the finish line first and who was more out of breath. He declined my challenge Just because we might be heavier than thou doesn't mean we're sedentary sloths.

[jackmilliesmom]

The other group of people who feel free to comment is my coworkers. I've worked at 3 places since getting heavy and all 3 places felt it was in their rights to comment on my weight. The other day at work, a coworker wanted to show me something upstairs. I we were standing near the elevator so I started towards it. He said "no, you need the exercise. Take the stairs." WHAT?!?! I usually take the stairs 4/5 times. Then we were upstairs and he commented AGAIN about how I needed to exercise more. I challenged him to a 1 mile speed walk and letss see who crossed the finish line first and who was more out of breath. He declined my challenge Just because we might be heavier than thou doesn't mean we're sedentary sloths.

Yep that is true, I swim three times a week and walk for a half hour every night and even the dogs have stopped coming wiht me because I walk to fast when they see their leads the run and hide.... LOL

[wombat2u2004]

Geez.........all of you have had a bad run....eh ????
I have never had that......I've been married twice, and all of my inlaws were just terrific. Just the luck of the draw I guess.
But I have heard that old saying "Any woman is never good enough for another womans son".
I wonder if any of you ladies on this thread, will be the same to your daughter in law, when your sons pick a partner.
Wom

[jazzcat]

But I have heard that old saying "Any woman is never good enough for another womans son".
I wonder if any of you ladies on this thread, will be the same to your daughter in law, when your sons pick a partner.
Wom

My mother in law has made it very clear that she didn't think I was good enough for her one and only son. She did a lot to try to break us up when we started dating. Now she is doing the same thing to her grandson who is 16 (Richard's sister's son).

As for me doing the same thing to my daughter in law - it will never happen - I have no children and never will.

Thanks to everyone for the support. I guess I'm being a bit oversensitve and I don't know why. Usually her zingers just roll off me but that one yesterday really singled me out in front of everyone and no one came to my defense (hubby wasn't in the room but he probably wouldn't have anyway). She loves her two son in laws but she does a good job making me feel like I'm not part of the family sometimes. It just ate at me all night but I'm over it. She is not worth it!