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Thread: Need A Laugh=)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Sunny Florida
    Posts
    1,591

    Need A Laugh=)

    Okay, I just received this in my email and about LMAO so I needed to share in case there is someone out there in need of a good laugh. I hope you
    enjoy this as much as I did!!

    A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall
    By Shannon Popkin

    My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and
    does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in
    the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People
    often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old.
    And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always
    fully cranked. There've been several embarrassing times that I've
    wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a
    not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last
    week at Costco. Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so
    I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the
    ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have
    heard coming from the second to the last stall:

    "Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper
    on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now?
    Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?"

    At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in
    the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full . 4? 5? Maybe
    we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out
    of this stall and reveal my identity.

    Cade continued, "Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a
    good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on
    the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh ... Mommy! I'm trying
    to see in dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You
    are gonna get some candy!"

    I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of
    me. Where is a screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief. This
    was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time
    before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, "Why don't you look in
    Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!"

    "No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!" He started to
    gag at this point. "Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy,
    doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!" As the gags
    became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly
    flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to
    reason with myself: OK.

    There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be
    reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing
    monologue will be long gone.

    "Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going
    stinkies! Get up! Get up!" He grunted as he tried to pull me off. Now
    I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet
    outside my door. "Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking
    under da door? What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the
    wady's feet?"

    More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the
    situation. "Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go
    out now, Mommy." He started pounding on the door. "Mommy, don't you
    want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!" I saw that my "wait 'em
    out" plan was unraveling. As I sheepishly opened the door, and found
    an open sink, I thought, Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood
    contract' where I signed away every bit of my privacy? But as my
    little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap
    between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away
    again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.

    Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She lives
    with her family in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where she no longer uses
    public restrooms....
    ~Traci, Duke, Champ, Chopper and Ryleigh

    On occasion I have been know to speak Chopperese.

  2. #2
    lol omg. how embarrassing.

    Wasn't there a show a little while back with Bill Cosby about the things kids say?

    My mom loves to tell the story about me asking my uncle jim if he had to pee cause he was "adjusting" himself (we were in the check out line at a department store) and when he said no I shouted "Well then stop playing with it" LOL

    I am not looking forward to those moments




    R.I.P my dear Sweet Teddy. You will be missed forever. We love you.

    http://www.hannahshands.etsy.com

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    7,885
    My oh my! I would have been soooo embarrasses if I were that poor mother! That was pretty funny, thanks for sharing!

    Kaitlyn (the human)
    Sadie & Rita (Forever in Our Hearts) (the Labbies)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Sunny Florida
    Posts
    1,591
    Quote Originally Posted by sparks19
    lol omg. how embarrassing.

    Wasn't there a show a little while back with Bill Cosby about the things kids say?

    My mom loves to tell the story about me asking my uncle jim if he had to pee cause he was "adjusting" himself (we were in the check out line at a department store) and when he said no I shouted "Well then stop playing with it" LOL

    I am not looking forward to those moments
    Oh you just wait...My son saw an Afro-American male in the store with dread locks and yelled "hey that man has funny hair", the gentleman heard him and ran over to his wife laughing telling her "that kid just said I had funny hair". My son always wanted his head shaved when he was really small. One time he saw a naturally bald man in the store and wanted to know why his head was not shiny like that mans! I am sure there were many others but those two always stand out!!
    ~Traci, Duke, Champ, Chopper and Ryleigh

    On occasion I have been know to speak Chopperese.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by WELOVESPUPPIES
    Oh you just wait...My son saw an Afro-American male in the store with dread locks and yelled "hey that man has funny hair", the gentleman heard him and ran over to his wife laughing telling her "that kid just said I had funny hair". My son always wanted his head shaved when he was really small. One time he saw a naturally bald man in the store and wanted to know why his head was not shiny like that mans! I am sure there were many others but those two always stand out!!
    LOL Too cute.

    OH and the name of that show was "Kids say the Darndest things"




    R.I.P my dear Sweet Teddy. You will be missed forever. We love you.

    http://www.hannahshands.etsy.com

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Chihuahua, Mexico
    Posts
    7,515
    tell me about it.......

    once my bro while he was like 3-4 came out from the restroom in a Mc D, singing this

    alla en la fuente habia un chorrito se hacia grandote se hacia chiquito se hacia gotitas.....

    which is a preeschool song that talk about a fountain which "splash" goes big then small and so on..... but my brother ended it up saying it went drips and little drops.... so you can imagine WHY he was singing that.......LOL


    I too have been "forced" to wait till everybody goes out before I do in public restrooms.....

    once my kid said in a department store to my in laws...."my mom has some panties like those".......do you feel my pain?? (it´s not that I roam in my undies but he "helps" me with laundry or so he says.......LOL
    Corinna´s Christmas Card Swap ´06
    dedicated to a lovely woman who won many hearts along her life...........
    she will be deeply missed.......Thank you for letting us be a part of your life, you will surely remain in ours FOREVER........R.I.P. Dear Corinna

    Best Fireman in da House´10
    dedicated to the kindest,loveliest and always helpful dude that one would be honored and proud to know........R.I.P. Dear Phred



    notes-to-my-husband blog

    http://365project.org/isabelle/365

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