Rufus' time..

[slleipnir]

We had our appointment for Rufus to get his blood work today. At the end, we decided not to bother with bloodwork because I think its time to say goodbye. Ruf pee'd on the floor 2 times in the room, and he had a bowel movement on the way out of my moms car. We had planned to just get blood work to see if he had any problems, but the vet said "I can't tell you when to put him down, thats your own disicion, but maybe you should be looking at his lifestyle and not so much looking for how much pain he is in. I had to put my dog down in the winter because she lost her dignity by loosing her ability to control her bowels, also, she had no interest to do anything really, it wasn't much of a life for her compaired to her younger years when she was so full of energy" I looked a Ruf, and its the exact same thing. I looked at how he lives, and how it can't be too fun for him. He can't go for walks, for he gets too tired. He sleeps all day, and how does he feel about having accidents on the floor when all his life he knew he couldn't? Most of the time hes locked in the kitchen so he doesn't poor or pee on the hard wood floor (my dad doesn't want it to get ruined I guess..) His leg was shaking non stop almost, and the vet said she thinks it had something to do with a spinal thing..like spinal arthrites or something. I was in tears when I was talking to her. I thought I was going to have to leave because I didn't want to cry in front of the vet. Rufus has been having problems getting up and down, and buffern doesn't seem to be doing to much. He will go to lay down, and (you know the play position? Like when dogs want to play, the bow kinda?) he would do the bow thing when trying to lay down, but he couldn't seem to get his rear down for a few mins. He licks the skin right off his paws too, I guess its a sign of sore limbs? Anyway, I know this is mean, but in a way I didn't want to lose him because I knew I'd want a new pup after him, and I didn't want people to think I only put him down so I could get a new dog. (I mean, thats definitly not the reason I haven't put him down yet, but its kinda on the side of my mind) I've wanted a pup for a long time now, and I do plan on getting one after I don't feel so bad about Rufus.....I just can't help thinking that, I guess it's stupid. It feels like there is a big ball of stuff stuck in my throat...I'm so confused, and I guess this isn't the kind of post ya'll like to read, but I really don't have anyone I can talk to that knows how I feel. All my friends still have their 1st pets..I still have to talk to my bro..its his disicion too. I don't think he wants to go with my way, but I think its better for Rufus. I'm at my moms right now, and shes at work, so I'm here alone. I don't even have my little girl to help make me feel better. I don't know if I can go to the vets with him, I know I'll start to cry..I know there is nothing wrong with that, but I duno. I don't like to do that infront of people. I've known Rufy my whole life as far back as I remember, and I love him sooo much. He is the sweetest, gentlest, caring friend anyone could ever want. I could never want anything more.

I just told a friend, and I looked at the "we have to put rufus down thing" and I guess it just sunk in..I'm a cry baby I guess. I know I should just be happy he won't be in pain, and he'll be happy at rainbow bridge..but I'll miss him so much...Rufus, I love you from the bottom and absolutly every part of my heart. I guess I should go and stop blabbering. Thanks for listening.

[anna_66]

I'm sorry about you dilema, I can't imagine having to make that decision about Angus, or for that matter either of the other two. We had to put down 2 poodles we had when we were first married because of the bowel thing also (they were both very old). It is so very had having to make that decision, I'm sure you'll know when the time is right. Just remember, we'll always be here for you
Anna

[Gio]

There is not much I can say just that I do understand how you feel having gone through it all myself.

I just want you to know that my thoughts are with you and I'm here if you need me.

[twirlbird]

God its hard to know what to say, but Audrey i know youll do the right thing. For some reason all i think of now is when *at the old house* you told me ruf wasnt allowed down the stairs, and he would just wait there patiently for you to come up. Ruf you will be missed

[slleipnir]

Thanks people, and Caitlin..I remember that..he is such a sweety. I've made the disicion to put him to sleep, I just don't know about my brother. I have Josie to help me through it, shes my little girl, you know? I'm sure some of you know that having another dog makes it a little better, cause they kinda comfort you. Rufus is that for my brother I think, even though he doesn't say it. Ruf is more like his dog, and he doesn't have that attachment with Jo. He likes her, thats about it. So, I think thats why its harder for him cause he's known him longer then me I suppose, seeing he remembers him as a pup, and I don't. He told me how small he was when we 1st got him, and how there was a hole under our sink he got stuck and when he finally got out, he ran over and back my bro a lick on the face. We don't have any pics of him as a pup, but I can just imagen how cute he must have been. I can picture a tiny black and white dog, with little springy ears..

[ramanth]

Audrey, it's okay to cry. You're not a cry baby. Just someone that is having to make a difficult decision. But for Rufus' sake, I feel deep down in my heart that you are making the right one for him.

And I don't think you are blabbering at all. When I lost my cat Nike, I wailed like a person possessed, and I didn't care what people thought of me. It hurts to lose someone you love.

My thoughts are prayers go out to you and your family.

[Dixieland Dancer]

Audrey, I feel for you. I personally know how hard it is to make that decision. Perhaps you should let your brother be the one to realize it is time though since he is the one who is more attached. You have Jo and she is a great joy. Your brother needs to work on this in his time and he will. Just be patient. I am sure he doesn't want to see Rufus suffer any more either.

When ever you both decide, if you can be with Rufus it may help in saying goodbye. Just don't look into his eyes. That is the hardest part. You will cry and no person in their right mind would think of you as a cry baby. Especially the vet who has probably seen many people crying over the years. It is losing a family member and it hurts and tears are to be expected. I have tears and I have never met Rufus but the struggle you are going through brings back memories of making that decision for my Golden Girl Taffey.

We are here for you.

[DoggiesAreTheBest]

Audrey, your post has broken my heart. I am saddened to read about Rufus' pain and yours. It is OK to cry.

You must consider Rufus' quality of life and his suffering. I know such a desicion is very tough to make, but in some situations, we have to think of our furbabies. Letting them go is a very unselfish thing to do. You put their interest and wanting to relieve their pain before your need for them.

My uncle had to put his Great Dane, Mariah, down last Christmas and him and his wife insisted on being with her as they let her go. They held on to her to the end and they said it helps alot.

If you are worried about crying in front of your vet don't. Your vet probably cried when his dog crossed over to RB. Sometimes, crying helps. I know Josie will too.

Rufus will always be with you in your thoughts. He will live on in your memory.

Good Luck with your decision.

[slleipnir]

Thanks for your comments.

[Logan]

Audrey, it took a very special friend to help me realize when my Kaycee had been through enough. She had so many of the same problems that you describe. I literally had to carry her outside to potty, and she had many, many accidents in the house, both kinds. I never have regretted my decision, although it was one of the hardest I have ever made. I stayed right there with that sweet girl until she was gone. They gave her a shot to make her go to sleep, and I sat there and held her, and loved her for as long as I wanted. The final shot was quick, painless, and her little eyes weren't even open. She was truly asleep.

Depending on his age, your brother may not understand, and it might take the support of other family members to realize what needs to happen for Rufus. Just love him and give him the dignity that he deserves. He has brought you so much happiness through the years, and you have done the same for him.

Please know that we are here for love and support.

[slleipnir]

Thanks Logan. I know what the euthanol is like, ive seen a lot of animals put to sleep when I was at the clinic. Not such a happy thing. The thing I don't like, is that they throw em in a bag, and just toss them in the freezer after their dead..like I know he'd be dead but for some reason I don't like it.

Also, my bro is 21, I guess I didn't explain too well. He doesn't say what he feels, he goes on like he doesn't care to much. But I kinda feel that he feels that way. I can tell he loves him, and doesn't want to see him go. I don't either.

[Albea]

Audrey: anybody who had to make that decision about a beloved pet, including myself, knows how you feel. But it comes a time when, because we love them so much, we have to let them go to a place were there's no more pain and suffering. One day we will see them again at the other end of Rainbow Bridge.Don't be afraid of crying in front of the vet, he will understand and, as Souraya said, he probably also cried when he had to let his own dog go.
Whatever you decide, we'll be thinking of you and sharing your grief.

[DoggiesAreTheBest]

Audrey, I know what you mean about throwing them away in a bag. When My uncle's Mariah was PTS, they had her creamated and sprinkled some of her ashes underneath her favorite tree were she would lay in the afternoons. The rest of the ashes are in an urn in their home. Perhaps you could do so for Rufus, or ask to have him burried in a special spot.

[slleipnir]

I was hoping I could do that, my dad thinks its stupid though :[

[Logan]

Just remember, Audrey, and I truly believe this, that once a human or an animal dies, their soul leaves that tired body and becomes whole. I didn't bring Kaycee home with me. I didn't have her cremated either. I just asked the vet to please take care of her. It didn't matter at that point, although I know many who have buried their loved animals in their yards or had them cremated. At that point, I couldn't have handled it by myself. Her little soul had already headed to Heaven. That's what I believe. I have believed it about loved ones (human) and about my animals that have left me. Take heart that whatever you end up doing with Rufus, he will be right there, like Alicia said so beautifully, at the Rainbow Bridge (Heaven), healthy and happy, and waiting for you to arrive one day long in the future.

Logan