Parents with ADD/ADHD Children?

**critter crazy** · 03-07-2007, 10:45 AM

Do you have you Children on Meds? and if so, what prompted you to go that route?

**Zippy** · 03-07-2007, 10:56 AM

My brother has ADHD and he got on the right meds and is so much better.He is a totally diff.person.He is happy,not as hyper,and goes to and likes school.

**kimlovescats** · 03-07-2007, 01:12 PM

My daughter, Amy Beth, was tested extensively and found to have ADHD in the 4th grade. Her doctor put her on Ritalin and it helped her so much. She started being attentive in class and her grades reflected it. Then her STUPID know-it-all father took her off of them, and she has been ever since. He said that she didn't need medication, she just had a "bad attitude". Well, look where she is today? She is 22, in all sorts of financial and legal trouble and has lost custody (for now) of her 2 year old daughter. At this point in her life, I think her ADHD has also become Bi-Polar II Disorder (like me) but she refuses to get on the medication for it as well.

My advice to any parent with an ADHD child, PLEASE get them on whatever medication helps! It can make a lifetime's worth of difference in their self-esteem and accomplishments!

Kim

**buttercup132** · 03-07-2007, 02:13 PM

I have it,m I was on meds but they made me loose weight and not be hungry and I'm already tiny. They didnt help either so I just stopped taking them.

**carole** · 03-07-2007, 04:02 PM

My nephew was diagnosed quite late at 13 with ADD, he was medicated at that time in his life, it improved his concentration levels, he went on in life to get a degree in computer studies, and now as an adult in his late twenties, he is productive, earning an excellent salary and to my knowledge has been free of medication for some years now.

**lisalee** · 03-08-2007, 12:48 PM

My advice to any parent with an ADHD child, PLEASE get them on whatever medication helps! It can make a lifetime's worth of difference in their self-esteem and accomplishments!

Kim

I agree. I have ADHD and was never treated, I'm now 38 and I believe it would of made such a difference in my life and made life so much easier. It's a real struggle living with this disorder at times.

**Taz_Zoee** · 03-08-2007, 04:16 PM

I do not have children, at all, but did work in the day care field for 12 years and had a number of children on medication for these issues.
Some parents relied very heavily on the medication, and some used it only as a "training" tool to help the child learn to deal, if the issue was controlable to that extent.
There are many different types and levels of ADD and ADHD, and different medications will help each individual differently.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is I do think the child should be seen by a physician and see if a treatment can be found to work with that specific child.
That's just my opinion, and that's not saying much. LOL

**Twisterdog** · 03-08-2007, 11:32 PM

My step-son is on Straterra.

He was sent to the state reform school for almost a year, due in most part to misbehavior in school, experimentation with drugs, etc. One of the mental health recommendations was medication to treat severve ADHD.

It indeed has helped. He is coming home tomorrow, and seems to be somewhat calmer and more able to focus. It is not a cure-all, by any means. The underlying disorder is still there and needs to managed with behavior modification and therapy. However, the medication makes it possible to even begin using these tools.

Every child and every situation is different. I agree that ADHD/ADD is definately over-diagnosed and over-medicated in some cases. But when a child truly needs help for severe symptoms, medication sometimes is all the difference between success and failure.

**drothergoodnow** · 03-09-2007, 12:37 AM

Hi there!

I couldn't help putting in my $.02... I was diagnosed ADHD before there was ADHD. Back then they called it Hyperkinetic. I was 5 at the time. They put me on Ritalin. I don't remember much about it, but my mom said that I went from drawing bright and happy pictures and being active to sitting in one place drawing black circles for hours. She got me off that and we tried the Feingold diet, which removes all artifical colors, flavors, preservatives and sugar out of one's diet. That didn't really work either. About 5 years ago I tried Stratera, which made me sweaty and shaky. No go on that. I'm turning 40 this year, and I'm realizing in my personal growth that, as far as my own situation goes, the only real issue I have is that people have issues with me. I'm pretty happy being a brilliant, creative and vibrant, drug and alcohol free person. I'm way eccentric, weird, quirky, word of your choice here, but I like who I am and have worked hard to learn to just accept me. It hasn't been easy, and I've been alone at it for most of my life, but, I'm finally to a point where I am just happy with me.
The point I'm trying to make is this... Ask why. Why medication? Is it for the child, or is it for you? We Indigo kids (ADD, ADHD, and Dyslexics) are a strange and unruly lot to be sure, but give us a good focus, and we are all over it. If you are medicating the child for you, don't. Trust me. We're not stupid, and we end up feeling like there is something wrong with us and that we are alone in the world. Try observing the child for what we call hyperfocus, which is where we focus in to something to the exclusion of all else. Encourage that. Most of us are geniuses, and you might be surprised what we can do in hyperfocus.
Also, I took my daughter (dyslexic and add) through a program that teaches us how to focus on the world around us. The main problem with us is that we think in visuals and tactile sensations. There are over 200 words in the English language that have no image or sensation to them, like the word "the". The program has the child make those words out of clay to give them both tactile and visual imagery. It was amazing to see my daughter focus and be able to read without stumbling or switching words around. These things work. If you choose to medicate, they have come a long way with dosages and such, and it is a good way to get a child slowed down enough to find the focus or passion of their heart. I'm not saying no to medication. I'm saying, maybe use it as a bridge to your child's true potential. ADHD, ADD and Dyslexia are not medical conditions, although the medical community would argue this, as they make a nice profit from it. These are gifts of extraordinary potential, that, when fostered correctly and with love, can open up, not only the child's world, but everyone's around them. Just some stuff to think about.
Bright Blessings

Dr. Jasper Goodnow

**cyber-sibes** · 03-09-2007, 10:35 AM

One son was on meds, isn't now. Therapy helped him learn new strategies & how to direct that energy. Order in the enviornment really helps, adhd kids really need to know what to expect, they don't handle surprises very well. I learned everything I could about all the different therapys, and found many helpful in dealing with the behavior. Meds helped for a while, also used a nutritional approach which also helped. He semed to outgrow it to a large extent, but is still pretty ocd, has tics, etc. Remember that every child is different, so try to figure out what's best for yours.

I personally think its very important to utilize meds for physical/emotional/mental condtions, as one more tool for dealing with it. I feel so sorry for kids whose parents refuse to take advantage of a great resource. Many of these conditions stem from metabolic imbalances, which are greatly helped by the right meds.

**critter crazy** · 03-09-2007, 10:57 AM

Such great info, and Experiances everyone! I appreciate it!

Okay, the reason I have asked this question:
my 7yr old Son has ADHD, he was Diagnosed 3yrs ago. I have chosen to not medicate him, over these past years, But I am seriously rethinking this plan. things have gone down hill again, quite drasatically! I am once again recieving phone calls almost daily, referral notices alomost daily, and I just dont know what to do. His attitude has become more and more explosive! The last phone call from his teacher, was Heartbreaking! She informed me that he will more than likely be held back this year, not because of his accademics, but because of his Mentality. Not that being held back is a bad thing, but he is so smart it just kills me. He is being very disruptive in class, having major blow ups, tantrums, and has once again begun hitting himself! getting him to change directions is very difficult, if not almost impossible. Monday after a huge Tantrum episode in class he passed out for 2 hours! the teacher had to wake him up to go to Gym class.
I am just at a loss as to what to do. I feel that these 3 yrs withought being on meds, cause i felt it was the best thing, has held him back. All I can think, is if i had gotten him on meds, when he was diagnosed, things would be different. I am so confused! I think i might have seriously messed up!
All I want is to have my sweet and loving son back,a nd for him to have the best of everything.

Sorry if this dosent make much sense, but I get so Emotional when I talk about it.

**cyber-sibes** · 03-09-2007, 11:09 AM

Oh, hon, I know that heartbreak! Please have him diagnosed by a competent professional. Look in your phone book for a clinic, ask your pediatrition, look on the web at some of the ADHC sites for recommendations. There is help & support out there. Meds won't fix it all, but they may help. And DON"T blame yourself! It's not your fault he has this condition, and you've been doing what you thought best. It's not working, so it's time to do something else, that's all. (((hugs)))

Check out this organization, I used it
www.chadd.org
Here'a a page on diagnosis & treatment options -
http://www.help4adhd.org/en/treatment

**drothergoodnow** · 03-09-2007, 11:18 AM

I don't think you have messed up and there is still time. In this situation, the meds can help take the edge off so he can refocus. It sounds to me like his frustration at not finding a focus is coupling with a guilt over the fact that he can't figure out how to express this frustration in a "socially acceptable" way. one of the things those of us with add struggle with daily is a deep seated need to be accepted. We need that like air, because we feel we are different right from the get go. We feel like round pegs trying to fit into square holes, and it doesn't work for us, yet the expectation is that we must fit in, that there is something wrong with us if we don't. Problem is that we never will. Academic institutions for the most part cater to the lowest common denominator of intellect and creativity, as well as putting boundaries and limitations on all students to prepare them for their role in society. This is not a bad thing, but it is an impossible task for an add child to cope with. We don't perceive boundaries and limitations, any more than someone that is color blind can perceive the colors that their eyes are not capable of seeing. No amount of punishment or reward or cajoling or wishing will make it happen. We live in a completely other paradigm altogether.
Practical advice from an adult add? Get the meds so he can decompress a bit. Help him find a focus. For me it was music. Observe him closely, and when he shows an interest in something, encourage it. Help him understand that there is nothing wrong with him. He is not sick. Add is not an illness. It's not a chemical imbalance, although chemical imbalances can make it worse, as in my case. Add is a gift, and it should be communicated to him that as with all gifts, it's up to him to find out how to apply it. And above all, touch and love him, no matter what. We need touch. We need love. A gentle touch during a frustration period can calm and soothe him fast. When he's adjusted to who and what he is, let him decide to leave the meds behind or continue. The teen years are the worst, so he may need them til his 20's or beyond. Also, I recommend that you read everything you can get your hands on about the Indigo children. That will help you learn to help him.

Bright Blessings
Dr. Jasper Goodnow

**critter crazy** · 03-09-2007, 11:31 AM

Originally Posted by drothergoodnow

I don't think you have messed up and there is still time. In this situation, the meds can help take the edge off so he can refocus. It sounds to me like his frustration at not finding a focus is coupling with a guilt over the fact that he can't figure out how to express this frustration in a "socially acceptable" way. one of the things those of us with add struggle with daily is a deep seated need to be accepted. We need that like air, because we feel we are different right from the get go. We feel like round pegs trying to fit into square holes, and it doesn't work for us, yet the expectation is that we must fit in, that there is something wrong with us if we don't. Problem is that we never will. Academic institutions for the most part cater to the lowest common denominator of intellect and creativity, as well as putting boundaries and limitations on all students to prepare them for their role in society. This is not a bad thing, but it is an impossible task for an add child to cope with. We don't perceive boundaries and limitations, any more than someone that is color blind can perceive the colors that their eyes are not capable of seeing. No amount of punishment or reward or cajoling or wishing will make it happen. We live in a completely other paradigm altogether.
Practical advice from an adult add? Get the meds so he can decompress a bit. Help him find a focus. For me it was music. Observe him closely, and when he shows an interest in something, encourage it. Help him understand that there is nothing wrong with him. He is not sick. Add is not an illness. It's not a chemical imbalance, although chemical imbalances can make it worse, as in my case. Add is a gift, and it should be communicated to him that as with all gifts, it's up to him to find out how to apply it. And above all, touch and love him, no matter what. We need touch. We need love. A gentle touch during a frustration period can calm and soothe him fast. When he's adjusted to who and what he is, let him decide to leave the meds behind or continue. The teen years are the worst, so he may need them til his 20's or beyond. Also, I recommend that you read everything you can get your hands on about the Indigo children. That will help you learn to help him.

Bright Blessings
Dr. Jasper Goodnow

Thank you so much! I love my son, and tell him this each and everyday. I dont let this issue come between us at all. He is a very sensitive boy, the simplest things make him break down and cry. He is very talented tho. he loves drawing and Music, these are the things he does, that makes him feel the best. and he is great at it! He loves to sing, and just play music. He is a fabulous artist! He makes me proud!

You guys are the best! It seems like everytime i mention putting my son on meds, I get nothing but crap, about how bad they are and how it is an easy way out! I am not looking for an easy way out, and if they dont help him, he will try something else. I am just loking to help my child!
I appreciate the fact that you all have been so great about this and have not jumped on my back about this. I am greatfull! gosh! LES again!

**carole** · 03-11-2007, 05:22 PM

Putting your son on meds, is by no means taking the easy way out, don't let people infer that and don't believe it, only you and you alone can make this decision, you are the only one who know's your child,do what you think is best for him, and rest easy knowing you have his best interest at heart.

I can only go by my nephew's experience, who has ADD, but only diagnosed at 14, he had meds for a few years, and they really did help him, especially with his concentration levels at school, as i said before he is an adult now, and has a degree, and is a really good guy,a valuable member of society.

Good luck.,and remember feel ok about your decision.